Jul 01, 2007 03:11
Firstly, I'd like to say that I am switching to Bowman with my little sister this upcoming year because the teachers at Graham are shitty as fuck.
Secondly, I might be getting a job at Marketlinc, selling longdistance for telus to people in Alberta. As in, I'll be a telemarketer, making $11 an hour!
And thirdly, have some ranting to do. Hurre ya go..
1. Do you know anything about anything?
How could you say I love you and then act like that?
Did you not understand that I didn't DECIDE to turn into this?
Did you think I was doing this to myself to hurt YOU?
That is so fucking low.
So fucking uneducated.
So fucking childish.
Did you KNOW how much you were hurting me?
You fucking KILLED me and then brushed me off like I had meant nothing to you.
There are things you've done that you will never even BEGIN to understand because you have always been so oblivious to the effects your actions have on the human beings around you. SELFISH. BASTARD.
You knew nothing about my problem and you never even tried.
Nothing. It's not that I care now, but to think that you destroyed an innocent little girl and then pushed her off a cliff in the past just disgusts me. I want to go back in time and help her more than anything right now. I would have held her for hours and told her how beautiful she really was. Not to get fucking sex you sick mother fucking bastard. You HATED me.
Instead you told her over the phone that you couldn't stand being with someone who had a problem as big as the one that was, and still is, going on. You used stupid slang words. You said you were glad she was going out of town for Easter so you could spend the weekend alone, playing gay ass shit computer games that made you happier than she did. You never once tried to help. All you did was make cheap deals that depressed me even more. You made me feel as though I didn't deserve help.
I CANNOT BELIEVE I WASTED ALL THAT TIME WITH YOU.
So go fuck yourself.
Because I will never be doing that again.
EW.
How do you sleep at night?
2. I hate fucking boys like you who brag about how good and pure you are because of your goddamn non-existant sex life, and then put me down and call me a slut because I don't share the lack of experience that they have. Yeah, so you think you're a real "NICE GUY". "Girls don't like me because I'm a good boy!" You don't judge? Yeah FUCKING RIGHT. Be jealous, because clearly you already are. Do not make me feel like less of a person, or say I'm "THAT KIND OF CHICK" just because I've made a few stupid mistakes in the past year and actually enjoy SEXUAL ACTIVITY. That does not make me a mother fucking SLUT. You "RESPECT WOMEN"?!?! Obviously you wouldn't know respect if it came up and ripped your face off. No one will ever want to date you because you are a DICK who THINKS he has "NICE GUY SYNDROME". Really we just don't want to have anything to do with you because you are a JACK ASS. FUCKER. FUCK YOU.
3. Despite my currently distorted but TRULY reasonable male perspectives, you guys are some of the greatest people I know. Honestly, I don't think you understand how amazing it feels to REALLY be listened to, and REALLY be trusted, and REALLY be wanted in an emotional and platonic way by teenage boys who are real and don't deny anything to me. None of you care what I look like, and even if that means no compliments of my physical traits(which I don't even want to hear because they are meaningless), you make up for it by being such incredible male friends. Chilling in your basement and having you push me around when I drop shit in your pitch black kitchen, slumber parties and loving me even after I keep you up all night annoying the SHIT out of you, discussing foreign languages and being terrible at math together all make me hope that someday I will fall in love with an amazing person who treats me half as good as you guys do. And although none of you will ever read this, Thanks.
4. Please never stop being my friend. I love you.