My Life is Going in Circles...
Dude...I need out...
Okay, I'm not really depressed about it anymore, but I've found more reasons to stop celebrating holiday's and birthday's...altogether.
A few days before Christmas I was both laid-off and, you wanna know the better part. My boyfriend (no my ex) found someone new...and told me this when I brought him his christmas present.
Then, I heard about my ex Kevin and thought that maybe we could get back together. Well, on my dad's birthday, my best mate and I went to go see him, and his mom told us that he's living with his new girlfriend.
............. <- my thoughts the rest of the day.
So, I've been thinking. And thinking, and thinking some fricken more.
Why does this always happen to me? All I've ever wanted was for someone to love me, for me. Someone who wanted to get married and start a family. Someone that enjoys everything I do.
I must be looking for the wrong type of somebody...sometimes I think I was someone really bad in a past life because this one is shit.
I mean, I'll get over it, I'm not going to do anything drastic...yet...lol...
*Sighs* So, I've decided that I need a change in life. I plan on moving out as soon as I can, money or not. I want to move out of here...not to a nearby town, I want out of the county, out of the state if I can. But, I don't want to end up on the street either, so I've got to play my cards right. I can't just go knocking on someone's door and say 'Hi, we've talked some, can I stay here with you?' -that's moronic.
I don't know anymore...I seem to have my life going in circles than in any direction. At least I'm not going backwards..that would be bad.
It just really sucks. The two men I loved most in life. One has pushed me so far away...and the other has moved so far on with his life that...argh...I hate this. I'm turning into a fricken soap opera. I shouldn't, I've got it better than some people do.
Just, with Valentine's day and all coming up. Even if I don't like the holiday (Not like I like any holiday except Halloween) it would still mean something to have someone for me! Someone no one else can have. I've shared so much...
...and then my sister...oh...she's just great....she's got a new boyfriend every week and rubs it in.
Whatever...*Big Sigh*
~Andara
Okay, I'm not really depressed about it anymore, but I've found more reasons to stop celebrating holiday's and birthday's...altogether.
A few days before Christmas I was both laid-off and, you wanna know the better part. My boyfriend (no my ex) found someone new...and told me this when I brought him his christmas present.
Then, I heard about my ex Kevin and thought that maybe we could get back together. Well, on my dad's birthday, my best mate and I went to go see him, and his mom told us that he's living with his new girlfriend.
............. <- my thoughts the rest of the day.
So, I've been thinking. And thinking, and thinking some fricken more.
Why does this always happen to me? All I've ever wanted was for someone to love me, for me. Someone who wanted to get married and start a family. Someone that enjoys everything I do.
I must be looking for the wrong type of somebody...sometimes I think I was someone really bad in a past life because this one is shit.
I mean, I'll get over it, I'm not going to do anything drastic...yet...lol...
*Sighs* So, I've decided that I need a change in life. I plan on moving out as soon as I can, money or not. I want to move out of here...not to a nearby town, I want out of the county, out of the state if I can. But, I don't want to end up on the street either, so I've got to play my cards right. I can't just go knocking on someone's door and say 'Hi, we've talked some, can I stay here with you?' -that's moronic.
I don't know anymore...I seem to have my life going in circles than in any direction. At least I'm not going backwards..that would be bad.
It just really sucks. The two men I loved most in life. One has pushed me so far away...and the other has moved so far on with his life that...argh...I hate this. I'm turning into a fricken soap opera. I shouldn't, I've got it better than some people do.
Just, with Valentine's day and all coming up. Even if I don't like the holiday (Not like I like any holiday except Halloween) it would still mean something to have someone for me! Someone no one else can have. I've shared so much...
...and then my sister...oh...she's just great....she's got a new boyfriend every week and rubs it in.
Whatever...*Big Sigh*
~Andara