Ranty, beware.

[andaluth]

Sat down and had a serious conversation with my amazing friend Reid the other day. She's my confidant, probably best friend right now, and possible my love. I tell her almost everything. And you know why? Because I think she's the only one listening.

I look at all my contacts, count off all my friends, search through my phone and you know what I

Comments

[spotlight_noa]

And please please stop saying you were planning on getting to my fandoms at some point. As I said, stop telling me all those sweet lies to make me feel better. I'm not an idiot. When a game sits at your house for 5 months and you haven't even looked at it, chances are you never will. And saying something like you were 'just about to get to it' puts the blame onto me for taking the game back after that long of time.

First of all... Don't accuse me of that. Matt got me Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles EIGHT MONTHS AGO and I haven't touched it. I nagged, and whibbled, and clung to him wanting it for Christmas. The same goes for the Hitman Trilogy, which I have wanted to play forever, and has been sitting there. But I do not have all that much free time and I am not -lying-.

Maybe I just think higher of my friends than they do of me. Perhaps I'm trying to have relationships that are closer than most people want?

I honestly have trouble believing that at this point. You have accused me of being shallow, and you have insinuated that I do not interact with you because you are not gay (even though, for reasons unknown, I am terribly awkward around gay guys and have no male gay friends). You have told me several times I have no interest in my pairings building a relationship (since you don't like slash, I don't often being up arguments - but I wrote a Megatron x Optimus over the course of nine months that capped out at 90,000 words, and they didn't even have any intimacy until the last chapter). Honestly, over the past few months, you have lashed out and insulted me countless times over my interests, my pairings, and my fandoms.

I bought WoW because you were insistent. I bought the City of Heroes/City of Villains and spent hours playing around with it. I have made an effort, but those were subscriptions and as I pointed out before - I have not had the time to start a new game. I just got to the final boss on Zelda (after sixteen months of playing).

[andaluth]

Well, I had a long response to this but thanks to my fail mouse buttons it went to the last page I was on before the reply and when I went back it was gone. So I'll just make it quick, because the last one sapped my energy.

Your being really defensive even though I said this was about almost all of my friends.

I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm just ranting for stress relief. I've come to realize that your not the gamer I was hoping you'd be. Which is where a lot of my fandomic life comes from. It's a sad fact for me, but I'll live. You make it sound like I'm forcing them down your throat, but I'm just trying to have fun with you.

And you may not have been lying when you said you you'd get to them eventually. But if you keep putting games on top of the stack and playing them first, the ones you bury won't get played till indefinitely.

I have apologized for a lot of things I've said when I was angry. But I never did call you shallow. I said something to the effect of 'The way your acting towards me is pretty shallow.' Not YOUR shallow, just the way you were treating me. Big difference.

And I have to be gay to be into slash. That's pretty much it. It's just something we'll never really relate on. And that's about all I can say on that. I don't mind it. I even have gay characters that are very close to my favorites out of all of them. But I don't smutt them so I'm pretty happy with them. I don't care if your into it. I won't hold that against you and I never really did. I may have said I did just because I felt that you'd rather have fun with it than something else with me.

And yes. I've lashed out at you quite a bit. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry... and I can keep going like that till the end of time and I don't think you'll ever really listen.

I don't care what fandoms your into. The fandoms themselves have never been a problem. I like TF, Hellsing, and whatever else. Don't feel like I'm attacking you because you because of it. Your interests are your own. I'm just angry about the way I'm treated. And sometimes the way I'm treated coincides with peoples interests.

If I'm taken out of a group because I don't like a cartoon, yes, I'll probably be upset. It's a pretty trivial reason to lose a friendship.

I don't care about WoW. I don't care about WoW. -_- Passing fancy.

I'm not on an Anti-Noa's life crusade. Please understand that. I'm not attacking you here.

[spotlight_noa]

I can't help but be automastically defensive at this point, but sorry for getting irritated.

[andaluth]

I'm sorry too. I can't help but be really irritated at this point.

Please don't prove me right by lashing out at me when I am just trying to vent. It is my journal.