things
so i really shouldnt be posting. i have a midterm tomorrow and one the day after, and my toes curl just thinking about it.
But - i wanted to remind myself of a couple of things.
Firstly, i went to belize this past reading week. getting that opportunity was completely unexpected two months ago - but the experience i had there was the best of my university career. i'm happy that there's been something memorable to look back on - u of t owed me something special anyway, for all the money i've poured into the institution.
obviously - anything i write right now, esp. since the back of my mind is urging me back to studying, will see pretty vapid and nonchalant - but in all honestly, that experience taught me so much: both about myself and about the world as it works - in reality.
even as i sit stressing about a 70 in my cardiovascular physiology class, i realize that i am so lucky to be able to go to school, to have tests and marks be the most of my worries, to be graduating this year.
knowing this, though it doesnt make stressing through med school interview invites any better, at least gives me some perspective. i know its cliche, but when you see it with your own eyes, when you visit a village with no high school and no permanent doctor or nurses - you truly see how much of your own success is dependent on the environment in which you live.
going to belize is probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me. coming back to "reality" here in toronto makes me realize the paradox of being both completely insulated and yet so closely connected to people living thousands of miles away. hop on a plane and live, laugh and play with people living on daily wages of less than the price of your coffee. its super fucked up, to put it not so eloquently.
this is why i want to do what i want to do. the world needs people who can do things. who have practical skills that can provide immediate relief to others. having an able body and seeing the need and the potential for capacity-building in countless villages in only one country (think of the world!) makes me itch to get started. while ive been pessimistic lately in terms of my outlook on my chances of getting into med school, i'm trying to remind myself of how ready i am to start the next phase of my life - to begin learning something that make me useful.
i never thought id say this, but thank you u of t for giving me more perspective and affirmation that this is what i need to be heading toward.
But - i wanted to remind myself of a couple of things.
Firstly, i went to belize this past reading week. getting that opportunity was completely unexpected two months ago - but the experience i had there was the best of my university career. i'm happy that there's been something memorable to look back on - u of t owed me something special anyway, for all the money i've poured into the institution.
obviously - anything i write right now, esp. since the back of my mind is urging me back to studying, will see pretty vapid and nonchalant - but in all honestly, that experience taught me so much: both about myself and about the world as it works - in reality.
even as i sit stressing about a 70 in my cardiovascular physiology class, i realize that i am so lucky to be able to go to school, to have tests and marks be the most of my worries, to be graduating this year.
knowing this, though it doesnt make stressing through med school interview invites any better, at least gives me some perspective. i know its cliche, but when you see it with your own eyes, when you visit a village with no high school and no permanent doctor or nurses - you truly see how much of your own success is dependent on the environment in which you live.
going to belize is probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me. coming back to "reality" here in toronto makes me realize the paradox of being both completely insulated and yet so closely connected to people living thousands of miles away. hop on a plane and live, laugh and play with people living on daily wages of less than the price of your coffee. its super fucked up, to put it not so eloquently.
this is why i want to do what i want to do. the world needs people who can do things. who have practical skills that can provide immediate relief to others. having an able body and seeing the need and the potential for capacity-building in countless villages in only one country (think of the world!) makes me itch to get started. while ive been pessimistic lately in terms of my outlook on my chances of getting into med school, i'm trying to remind myself of how ready i am to start the next phase of my life - to begin learning something that make me useful.
i never thought id say this, but thank you u of t for giving me more perspective and affirmation that this is what i need to be heading toward.