Ass Kissing
To make it up to you for whining, yet again, about my indecision involving school and what the hell I want to do with my life, I give you some of the drabbles from the drabble meme I posted the other day.
Thank you to lillbet for the beta. You're awesome!
Title: Jinxes
Fandom: Harry Potter
Prompt: Luna Lovegood and Ron or Snape in something inappropriate, but still mildly FF perhaps set in The Three Broomsticks or The Leaky Cauldron.
208 words or equivalent
Actual Words - 203
Darkened booths, nooks, corners, and shadows are always exciting. Hands and hitched breaths fill the space between them, creating a warm, hazy cloud that has his head spinning.
The din of voices in the background makes no difference to Ron, who’s far too occupied with golden hair and pale skin, as she ducks her hand and her body in response to him, reactionary and fascinating and dangerous.
As always, her face is calm and gives away little of what she’s feeling, none of what she thinks is in response to what he’s doing - and doing quite well, if he’s to be honest with himself.
He’s started to sweat from the effort and feels his hands tremble a little. It is embarrassing, to be truthful, but Ron holds himself in check, managing his nerves and his excitement. He isn’t a novice, this isn’t his first time by any stretch of the imagination, but the way she moves and the clever things that come from her mouth set him on edge, make him shaky.
And then, in one shuddering moment, it’s over and Ron has lost. He lies back, angry as the crowd around them exchanges winnings.
Dueling with Luna was never a good idea.
Title: Boys Will Play
Fandom: Twilight
Prompt: How can I not say Twilight when you promise me snark?
I would like Edward and... cowardice.
And shall we say 300? Although I won't be strict ;).
ETA: ok, I'm not sure snark and cowardice go together. But the only other thing I can think of is Playboy. Take your pick, lol.
Actual Words: Ummm, way more than the limit. Oops
How could this have happened? he wondered as he stared at the words on the page. It defied all logic, it made no sense; it confused him. First of all, he was dead and that tended to limit ones sperm count. Secondly, even if he had somehow been able to play host to a sack-full of undead swimmers, Edward felt certain that he would have noticed at some point.
Dialing the annoyingly familiar number, he waited for someone to answer. After the third ring he heard her say, “Hello?”
“Stephenie?”
“Oh,” she said, her voice rising to rival a soprano’s. “Hi, Eddie! What’s up?”
Rolling his eyes, Edward sat down cross-legged on the carpet next to his bookshelf and thumbed through the collection of magazines.
“Look,“ he began after a moment’s thought, “I just read Book 1 and you’re going to need to explain to me how that works. I mean, it’s not like I’ve had all my human spunk kicking around in there for the last one hundred years.” The absurdity of that struck him as he spoke and he laughed.
The line was silent.
“Stephenie?”
“Do you mean to tell me you…um…well…pleasured yourself?” She stuttered, almost unable to say the words.
Was this woman for real? “Yes. In a hundred years, I think it’s reasonable to assume that I have.”
“I…um…I,” she sputtered.
“For Christ’s sake Meyer!” She really was exasperating, he thought as he grabbed up a few of his favorite issues from the stack of magazines he’d been looking at. “Keep an eye on your mailbox, Steph,” he said, and hung up.
Two days later, Stephenie Meyer was delighted to discover a package in her mailbox, despite the fact that its arrival had interrupted the planning of her next concert tour (this time with better pyrotechnics). She ripped open the thick envelope and pulled out a stack of Playboy Magazines.
Gasping and whimpering, she threw them to the floor, determined not to pervert her eyes with the disgusting images they contained. As she struggled to maintain her composure, she noticed a scrap of paper on the floor. She knelt to pick it up.
“Some of my favorites,” the note read. “Love, Edward.”
Title: Whatever I can Get
Fandom: SVN
Prompt: Sookie/Sam
Requested Word Count: My choice
Actual Words: 118
He’s not The One and he knows it. There is no angel chorus singing and neither of them are choked with emotion. Their pasts are painted in oils and blood and sweat and they’ve removed the grime together, but whatever they are, it isn’t what it could be.
She had that once; something so bright she couldn’t look right at it, something that blinded her and hurt as much as it healed. But that was gone now, dead and gone, and it wasn’t coming back.
Sam kisses her to make her smile, to make her comfortable, to help her feel something, anything. He knows he’ll never be her soul mate, but he’ll take what he can get.
Title: Accidents Happen
Fandom: SVN
Prompt: Pam/Eric, Forgiveness
Words: 150
Smut version
Actual words: 156 (DAMMIT)
There’s been so much blood that her vision’s gone hazy. She’s hardly aware that Eric has pinned her to the wall. But suddenly his hips are against hers and her skirt is up around her waist. His mouth is warm from feeding and, God, it’s been so long since she’s felt him against her, inside her.
She arches against him and he responds by pressing into her, making her moan.
It’s the blood, she reasons, making her act this way. There should never have been so much. It was an accident, a mistake of fortune, but ohmygod it was paying off for her.
She’s whimpering now, a sound she hardly remembers making, a sound only he can elicit, and she melts, her teeth finding his neck just as he does the same.
“Am I forgiven for killing him?” She asks when she can talk again and smiles when he laughs. Bartenders were expendable anyway.
Title: I Forgive You
Fandom: SVN
Prompt: Pam/Eric, Forgiveness
Words: 150
Non Smut Version
Actual words: 150 (w00t)
“I forgive you,” Pam says, barging into his office and plopping down, with uncharacteristic casualness, on his couch.
Eric looks up and scowls. “What are you talking about?” he asks, deciding to tackle the statement before the behavior.
“For killing me,” the other vampire remarks, her hand waving dismissively in front of her, as if she is literally clearing the air.
He stares at her a moment, unable to make sense of her for the first time in centuries. Finally, he sets down his pen, and crosses his arms. “Care to explain?”
She shakes her head, her pale hair swinging around her face, her smile wide and genuine. But whatever elaboration he hopes to get doesn’t come, as Pam abruptly stands and leaves the room.
Eric grabs the telephone and dials a number from memory. When a voice answers, he speaks without preamble. “Sookie, what did you say to Pam?”
Thank you to lillbet for the beta. You're awesome!
Title: Jinxes
Fandom: Harry Potter
Prompt: Luna Lovegood and Ron or Snape in something inappropriate, but still mildly FF perhaps set in The Three Broomsticks or The Leaky Cauldron.
208 words or equivalent
Actual Words - 203
Darkened booths, nooks, corners, and shadows are always exciting. Hands and hitched breaths fill the space between them, creating a warm, hazy cloud that has his head spinning.
The din of voices in the background makes no difference to Ron, who’s far too occupied with golden hair and pale skin, as she ducks her hand and her body in response to him, reactionary and fascinating and dangerous.
As always, her face is calm and gives away little of what she’s feeling, none of what she thinks is in response to what he’s doing - and doing quite well, if he’s to be honest with himself.
He’s started to sweat from the effort and feels his hands tremble a little. It is embarrassing, to be truthful, but Ron holds himself in check, managing his nerves and his excitement. He isn’t a novice, this isn’t his first time by any stretch of the imagination, but the way she moves and the clever things that come from her mouth set him on edge, make him shaky.
And then, in one shuddering moment, it’s over and Ron has lost. He lies back, angry as the crowd around them exchanges winnings.
Dueling with Luna was never a good idea.
Title: Boys Will Play
Fandom: Twilight
Prompt: How can I not say Twilight when you promise me snark?
I would like Edward and... cowardice.
And shall we say 300? Although I won't be strict ;).
ETA: ok, I'm not sure snark and cowardice go together. But the only other thing I can think of is Playboy. Take your pick, lol.
Actual Words: Ummm, way more than the limit. Oops
How could this have happened? he wondered as he stared at the words on the page. It defied all logic, it made no sense; it confused him. First of all, he was dead and that tended to limit ones sperm count. Secondly, even if he had somehow been able to play host to a sack-full of undead swimmers, Edward felt certain that he would have noticed at some point.
Dialing the annoyingly familiar number, he waited for someone to answer. After the third ring he heard her say, “Hello?”
“Stephenie?”
“Oh,” she said, her voice rising to rival a soprano’s. “Hi, Eddie! What’s up?”
Rolling his eyes, Edward sat down cross-legged on the carpet next to his bookshelf and thumbed through the collection of magazines.
“Look,“ he began after a moment’s thought, “I just read Book 1 and you’re going to need to explain to me how that works. I mean, it’s not like I’ve had all my human spunk kicking around in there for the last one hundred years.” The absurdity of that struck him as he spoke and he laughed.
The line was silent.
“Stephenie?”
“Do you mean to tell me you…um…well…pleasured yourself?” She stuttered, almost unable to say the words.
Was this woman for real? “Yes. In a hundred years, I think it’s reasonable to assume that I have.”
“I…um…I,” she sputtered.
“For Christ’s sake Meyer!” She really was exasperating, he thought as he grabbed up a few of his favorite issues from the stack of magazines he’d been looking at. “Keep an eye on your mailbox, Steph,” he said, and hung up.
Two days later, Stephenie Meyer was delighted to discover a package in her mailbox, despite the fact that its arrival had interrupted the planning of her next concert tour (this time with better pyrotechnics). She ripped open the thick envelope and pulled out a stack of Playboy Magazines.
Gasping and whimpering, she threw them to the floor, determined not to pervert her eyes with the disgusting images they contained. As she struggled to maintain her composure, she noticed a scrap of paper on the floor. She knelt to pick it up.
“Some of my favorites,” the note read. “Love, Edward.”
Title: Whatever I can Get
Fandom: SVN
Prompt: Sookie/Sam
Requested Word Count: My choice
Actual Words: 118
He’s not The One and he knows it. There is no angel chorus singing and neither of them are choked with emotion. Their pasts are painted in oils and blood and sweat and they’ve removed the grime together, but whatever they are, it isn’t what it could be.
She had that once; something so bright she couldn’t look right at it, something that blinded her and hurt as much as it healed. But that was gone now, dead and gone, and it wasn’t coming back.
Sam kisses her to make her smile, to make her comfortable, to help her feel something, anything. He knows he’ll never be her soul mate, but he’ll take what he can get.
Title: Accidents Happen
Fandom: SVN
Prompt: Pam/Eric, Forgiveness
Words: 150
Smut version
Actual words: 156 (DAMMIT)
There’s been so much blood that her vision’s gone hazy. She’s hardly aware that Eric has pinned her to the wall. But suddenly his hips are against hers and her skirt is up around her waist. His mouth is warm from feeding and, God, it’s been so long since she’s felt him against her, inside her.
She arches against him and he responds by pressing into her, making her moan.
It’s the blood, she reasons, making her act this way. There should never have been so much. It was an accident, a mistake of fortune, but ohmygod it was paying off for her.
She’s whimpering now, a sound she hardly remembers making, a sound only he can elicit, and she melts, her teeth finding his neck just as he does the same.
“Am I forgiven for killing him?” She asks when she can talk again and smiles when he laughs. Bartenders were expendable anyway.
Title: I Forgive You
Fandom: SVN
Prompt: Pam/Eric, Forgiveness
Words: 150
Non Smut Version
Actual words: 150 (w00t)
“I forgive you,” Pam says, barging into his office and plopping down, with uncharacteristic casualness, on his couch.
Eric looks up and scowls. “What are you talking about?” he asks, deciding to tackle the statement before the behavior.
“For killing me,” the other vampire remarks, her hand waving dismissively in front of her, as if she is literally clearing the air.
He stares at her a moment, unable to make sense of her for the first time in centuries. Finally, he sets down his pen, and crosses his arms. “Care to explain?”
She shakes her head, her pale hair swinging around her face, her smile wide and genuine. But whatever elaboration he hopes to get doesn’t come, as Pam abruptly stands and leaves the room.
Eric grabs the telephone and dials a number from memory. When a voice answers, he speaks without preamble. “Sookie, what did you say to Pam?”