Humanity Blows
I finished The Mists of Avalon last night and now I'm uber depressed. Fuck, man, is there anything in that story that doesn't just totally suck? Great book though. And I learned some things:
1. One should not exercise free will or the Goddess will fuck your shit up.
2. Always acknowledge your illegitimate children, lest they grow up to hate you.
3. Adopted kids have issues.
4. Religion is bad, m'kay?
5. If God/Goddess/diety of your choice wants you to do something, it will probably not go very well and mean certain doom and downfall for all parties involved. Do not do it.
5A. See number 1 - this is a rock and a hard place. You cannot win.
6. If you are a woman, use sex to get what you want. If you are a man, beware of women.
7. A religious fanatic is a religious fanatic is a religious fanatic. And they always think they're right.
8. Threesomes do not make you a bad Christian. It just means you're blessed with two loves. You should, however, feel horribly shamed about this.
9.The world is only what you believe it to be.
10. Do NOT fuck with the tiny, hairy legged, tree hugger. She will smite your ass ten ways to Sunday.
11. If at all possible, try not to kill your dad.
12. Your plan will go awry (especially if you think it's God's plan), always have a back up.
13. Abortion is always an option.
14. A secret isn't a secret if someone else knows about, you dipshit.
15. When and where possible, do not marry magically inclined people off to old men - it never ends well.
16. BROS BEFORE HOES! fuck you Gwen
17. Getting old sucks.
18. Eventually everything you have ever worked to build will fall apart.
19. Never listen to your mother.
20. Always listen to your mother.
21. Patience is a virtue, lest you jump the gun and that guy with the unbeatable sword kills your ass.
22. It sucks to be a survivor.
23. If you must abandon your child, do a thorough psychological evaluation of the woman with whom you leave him.
24. If the words are flowery and vague enough, no one will understand it and think it's mystical and mysterious.
25. Somehow, phrases can be overused in a book nearly 900 pages long.
And now, that meme I was charged with:
Make a list of five questions you wish someone would ask you about yourself. If someone comments to your post and officially asks the question, you must answer. Tag ten people to do the meme. Except if I wanted someone to ask me a question, I would probably just tell them the answer without bothering to wait for them to ask, so I've come up with some random, silly questions:
1. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
2. Hey, baby, what's your sign?
3. Is all really fair in love and war?
4. If a tree falls in the woods and lands on a bear eating a rabbit, does it kill the bear?
5. Why do zombies move so slowly?
Also, I've been babysitting all week and it just confirms for me how much I really dislike children.
1. One should not exercise free will or the Goddess will fuck your shit up.
2. Always acknowledge your illegitimate children, lest they grow up to hate you.
3. Adopted kids have issues.
4. Religion is bad, m'kay?
5. If God/Goddess/diety of your choice wants you to do something, it will probably not go very well and mean certain doom and downfall for all parties involved. Do not do it.
5A. See number 1 - this is a rock and a hard place. You cannot win.
6. If you are a woman, use sex to get what you want. If you are a man, beware of women.
7. A religious fanatic is a religious fanatic is a religious fanatic. And they always think they're right.
8. Threesomes do not make you a bad Christian. It just means you're blessed with two loves. You should, however, feel horribly shamed about this.
9.The world is only what you believe it to be.
10. Do NOT fuck with the tiny, hairy legged, tree hugger. She will smite your ass ten ways to Sunday.
11. If at all possible, try not to kill your dad.
12. Your plan will go awry (especially if you think it's God's plan), always have a back up.
13. Abortion is always an option.
14. A secret isn't a secret if someone else knows about, you dipshit.
15. When and where possible, do not marry magically inclined people off to old men - it never ends well.
16. BROS BEFORE HOES! fuck you Gwen
17. Getting old sucks.
18. Eventually everything you have ever worked to build will fall apart.
19. Never listen to your mother.
20. Always listen to your mother.
21. Patience is a virtue, lest you jump the gun and that guy with the unbeatable sword kills your ass.
22. It sucks to be a survivor.
23. If you must abandon your child, do a thorough psychological evaluation of the woman with whom you leave him.
24. If the words are flowery and vague enough, no one will understand it and think it's mystical and mysterious.
25. Somehow, phrases can be overused in a book nearly 900 pages long.
And now, that meme I was charged with:
Make a list of five questions you wish someone would ask you about yourself. If someone comments to your post and officially asks the question, you must answer. Tag ten people to do the meme. Except if I wanted someone to ask me a question, I would probably just tell them the answer without bothering to wait for them to ask, so I've come up with some random, silly questions:
1. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
2. Hey, baby, what's your sign?
3. Is all really fair in love and war?
4. If a tree falls in the woods and lands on a bear eating a rabbit, does it kill the bear?
5. Why do zombies move so slowly?
Also, I've been babysitting all week and it just confirms for me how much I really dislike children.