if strength were all, tiger would not fear scorpion

[and_then_i_nod]

frail and fragile, her words slice directly into fears and realities. i'm old and i can't do anything. i already opened my big mouth once and got in trouble. and they take care of me, both of them. i can't do anything. i need them. i'm old. and her confusion and curiousity quivered, shaking her human. she knows nothing except what is right, and her heart has been caught between the two. can't we go on like we did, where you'd come visit. i want to see you. do you want that? i do. that's all i want. is to see you, and for you to love me. i do. i do love you. i'm so proud of you, everyone who comes to visit me knows how proud of you i am. i just wish i knew what you were doing. i can't say anything you know. i'm old. i can't get in the middle. it's okay, i understand. lets go back to how it was. we don't even have to talk about it. i would like to know, but i just can't comment. i know grandma. i know and i understand. i'll see you on friday.

i had a splendid christmas with new traditions. i have so many wonderful people help me each day. i'll likely reflect on those later. but for now, i'm taking my feelings and rolling with them.