Blood Drive
So I think everyone here knows how bad I am at giving blood. First and only time I did it, they had to put ice packs under my neck and on my chest, and I had to lay there for fifteen minutes or so after they were done. Recently, I had to get bloodwork done, and the first round left me passed out and crying uncontrollably. Second round I was a lot better, as a nurse stayed there and talked to me the whole time. "The whole time" being like, sixty seconds, maybe. Anyway, the first round, I think I had a panic attack of sorts- it was like I could feel the life draining out of me and I just felt this block of panic in my chest.
So the APO blood drive is this week and, as a member of APO, I have to help staff it. I went in today during my hour-long break to do just that, and I was going strong. I looked at the people giving blood and felt fine, and thought "hey, maybe next time around I can try and give blood again!" (I can't give today for various reasons, and tomorrow I leave town right after class.) I was proud of myself, until I saw one guy get in the chair and get that thing tied around his arm.
The thing around the arm is what gets me. It starts the panic. It also happens when I get my blood pressure taken. I just hate feeling something compressing my arm, and even worse, feeling my own pulse. Even thinking about that arm thing now gets me a little panicked.
So the panic started a tiny bit when I saw him start giving blood, but I was still okay. Until the other volunteer, who'd never given blood or attended a blood drive, asked why the nurses recline you as you start. As I was explaining, the panic just exploded. Things seemed to cave in fuzzily, my heart started to beat wildly, my body felt simultaneously crouched and hyperactive. I seriously thought I might pass out, so I had to get out of there.
How long did this take? How long did my bravery hold out?
Thirty-five minutes.
I am pathetic.
So the APO blood drive is this week and, as a member of APO, I have to help staff it. I went in today during my hour-long break to do just that, and I was going strong. I looked at the people giving blood and felt fine, and thought "hey, maybe next time around I can try and give blood again!" (I can't give today for various reasons, and tomorrow I leave town right after class.) I was proud of myself, until I saw one guy get in the chair and get that thing tied around his arm.
The thing around the arm is what gets me. It starts the panic. It also happens when I get my blood pressure taken. I just hate feeling something compressing my arm, and even worse, feeling my own pulse. Even thinking about that arm thing now gets me a little panicked.
So the panic started a tiny bit when I saw him start giving blood, but I was still okay. Until the other volunteer, who'd never given blood or attended a blood drive, asked why the nurses recline you as you start. As I was explaining, the panic just exploded. Things seemed to cave in fuzzily, my heart started to beat wildly, my body felt simultaneously crouched and hyperactive. I seriously thought I might pass out, so I had to get out of there.
How long did this take? How long did my bravery hold out?
Thirty-five minutes.
I am pathetic.