What you thought was enough,might be too much....
FLW...Famous Last Words...NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!
Yesterday was crazy!!!
Ok, so it was Erin's b-day party...a bunch of peeps were supposed to go, a bunch did, but a bunch didn't either...oh well, I can't really remember much anyway. Brian and I went to get the liquor...we spent almost 300 dollars in 2 days on liquor...ask me if anyone paid us for that shit??? NO THEY DID NOT! I am never shelling out my $$ again, I'll either have people BYOL or give me $$ in advance (Right Brian?) So Erin and I did 4 shots of 99 Oranges...other people were doing them too, so my bottle was almost gone, Stephanie had to pick up Keith, so I took a ride cuz Keith could by liquor...We got 99 Berries...Very good (both drinks) going down, but comming up isn't so nice...So anyway, I remember when I got back, my bottle was really almost gone, Erin had drinking more while we were out. I called Liz a cunt, she got pissed, I apologized, she didn't want to hear it, so in my drunk state, I was like "Fine, I'm going home" so Erin is like "Rebecca NO!" and I was just walking, she tackled my ass, and I was hysterical...So Liz brought me inside, and said that she wasn't mad at me, and left me there to compose myself on Erin's bed. Erin thought I had left again, I told her I was just on her bed. I remember Ricky was cooking, and I had a burger. I remember holding on to Frank while talking to Courtney...What else...Well I remember going in to check on Erin who was sleeping on the couch, she had passed out...Justin wasn't letting anyone see her...I think truthfully it was cuz he didn't want Erin to be embarrassed the following day when she realized how many people saw her in her fucked up state. I remember vaguely throwing up, but I dont' know if that was before or after the cops showed up...I heard sirens, and I was screaming something, and Stephanie(I found out later it was her...all I remember is someone telling me to shut the fuck up cuz the cops were comming) so then I remember someone asking me my name and birthday...that was a cop...but apparently I heard from Ricky that I cursed the cop out...the cop shined a light in my face, and I told him to get his fucking flashlight out of my eyes. The next thing I knew I am sitting in a chair next to Joe G crying again and people are putting cold towels around my neck and on my face and stuff...I was screaming that I couldn't breathe and I needed to talkt o Carmine, but he was still at work...Someone told me Keith went home cuz I slapped him in the face and he was mad at me, so now I'm hysterical crying like "I need to call Keith and apologize!!" over and over til someone got him, and he's like "I'm here, I didn't leave" He might have told me he wasn't mad at me just to stop me from crying, but he was fucking pissed...I feel like a schmuck. So they got me a blanket because I'd gotten sick on myself, and Elaina got me a shirt, and Frank and Joe made sure I got dressed under the blanket...I have to thank both of them when I see them...I feel like such a schmuck...so back to the cold towels...I'm sitting there shivvering, I couldn't breathe well, and I was crying about how I don't want to be alcoholics like my parents, but I'm not, I'm worse...I drink til I can't do anything, and until I get sick...which is what I did, but at least it was outside...next party at Erin's I am NOT drinking...I don't even know if I want to drink when I become 21...I have all these people who want to take me out, and I don't even know if I want to drink again...I might have wine coolers, or like a Mike's or the Schmirnoff Ice or something...but I really want to try to stay away from ALL hard liquor...So then Carmine finally came after he was done w/ work, and I was still drunk, but by that time I'd walked back into the house...he and I went to 7-11 cuz I was hungry or something, and Keith needed a lighter...so we went and I was like (I asked a couple people this) "Do you think any less of me because I'm such a lush?" and he was like "I don't think any less of you" and that was pretty much what the others said...but I thought less of me cuz I acted like and idiot, I threw up all over myself again, I couldn't walk or anything like that, and I smacked Keith...I was hysterical, I don't cry in front of anyone, I could have been arrested, etc etc...it was not good...Erin and I laughed about it in the morning as we were filled in on our lives...they thought she had alcohol poisioning, so Liz told her father to call the cops and an ambulance...the cops were dicks from what Keith and Elaina told me and others told Erin...oh, so back to Carmine, I asked him if he would be my boyfriend if I wasn't such a lush...and he told me that he doesn't have the $$ for a relationship...and I said that he didn't need $$ cuz I didn't like people paying for me anyway. But pretty much he wasn't interested...so we got back to the house, and he had to go...cuz he was opening this morning...I don't even remember people leaving, I hope I said goodbye...I was telling people that they had better not have been taking pics of me during all this, and they said that they weren't...which is good...although they would have made good black mail photos. At one point also Elaina and Brian(who got a bit drunk himself I'm proud/sad to say) and others were doing cartwheels, and they asked me to do one, and I remember saying "I can't do one when I'm sober" God I'm such a jerk...I'm going to seriously try to change my entire attitude...everyone sees me as "The angry one" or "the aggressive one" or "The mean one" of our group...I'm a hitter, as Keith found out, although he already knew...but I'm not going to hit anyone anymore. I'll let people's joking comments roll off me...or I'll just shoot back w/ my mouth and not my fists, no matter if I don't intend to hurt people. I don't even know why I hit Keith...he said I asked for my bag, and he brought it to me, I got up to take it, stumbled and slapped him in the face. I'm such a jerk...hopefully NEVER AGAIN...I just hope nothing gets around the store...people at S&S have big mouths...
Yesterday was crazy!!!
Ok, so it was Erin's b-day party...a bunch of peeps were supposed to go, a bunch did, but a bunch didn't either...oh well, I can't really remember much anyway. Brian and I went to get the liquor...we spent almost 300 dollars in 2 days on liquor...ask me if anyone paid us for that shit??? NO THEY DID NOT! I am never shelling out my $$ again, I'll either have people BYOL or give me $$ in advance (Right Brian?) So Erin and I did 4 shots of 99 Oranges...other people were doing them too, so my bottle was almost gone, Stephanie had to pick up Keith, so I took a ride cuz Keith could by liquor...We got 99 Berries...Very good (both drinks) going down, but comming up isn't so nice...So anyway, I remember when I got back, my bottle was really almost gone, Erin had drinking more while we were out. I called Liz a cunt, she got pissed, I apologized, she didn't want to hear it, so in my drunk state, I was like "Fine, I'm going home" so Erin is like "Rebecca NO!" and I was just walking, she tackled my ass, and I was hysterical...So Liz brought me inside, and said that she wasn't mad at me, and left me there to compose myself on Erin's bed. Erin thought I had left again, I told her I was just on her bed. I remember Ricky was cooking, and I had a burger. I remember holding on to Frank while talking to Courtney...What else...Well I remember going in to check on Erin who was sleeping on the couch, she had passed out...Justin wasn't letting anyone see her...I think truthfully it was cuz he didn't want Erin to be embarrassed the following day when she realized how many people saw her in her fucked up state. I remember vaguely throwing up, but I dont' know if that was before or after the cops showed up...I heard sirens, and I was screaming something, and Stephanie(I found out later it was her...all I remember is someone telling me to shut the fuck up cuz the cops were comming) so then I remember someone asking me my name and birthday...that was a cop...but apparently I heard from Ricky that I cursed the cop out...the cop shined a light in my face, and I told him to get his fucking flashlight out of my eyes. The next thing I knew I am sitting in a chair next to Joe G crying again and people are putting cold towels around my neck and on my face and stuff...I was screaming that I couldn't breathe and I needed to talkt o Carmine, but he was still at work...Someone told me Keith went home cuz I slapped him in the face and he was mad at me, so now I'm hysterical crying like "I need to call Keith and apologize!!" over and over til someone got him, and he's like "I'm here, I didn't leave" He might have told me he wasn't mad at me just to stop me from crying, but he was fucking pissed...I feel like a schmuck. So they got me a blanket because I'd gotten sick on myself, and Elaina got me a shirt, and Frank and Joe made sure I got dressed under the blanket...I have to thank both of them when I see them...I feel like such a schmuck...so back to the cold towels...I'm sitting there shivvering, I couldn't breathe well, and I was crying about how I don't want to be alcoholics like my parents, but I'm not, I'm worse...I drink til I can't do anything, and until I get sick...which is what I did, but at least it was outside...next party at Erin's I am NOT drinking...I don't even know if I want to drink when I become 21...I have all these people who want to take me out, and I don't even know if I want to drink again...I might have wine coolers, or like a Mike's or the Schmirnoff Ice or something...but I really want to try to stay away from ALL hard liquor...So then Carmine finally came after he was done w/ work, and I was still drunk, but by that time I'd walked back into the house...he and I went to 7-11 cuz I was hungry or something, and Keith needed a lighter...so we went and I was like (I asked a couple people this) "Do you think any less of me because I'm such a lush?" and he was like "I don't think any less of you" and that was pretty much what the others said...but I thought less of me cuz I acted like and idiot, I threw up all over myself again, I couldn't walk or anything like that, and I smacked Keith...I was hysterical, I don't cry in front of anyone, I could have been arrested, etc etc...it was not good...Erin and I laughed about it in the morning as we were filled in on our lives...they thought she had alcohol poisioning, so Liz told her father to call the cops and an ambulance...the cops were dicks from what Keith and Elaina told me and others told Erin...oh, so back to Carmine, I asked him if he would be my boyfriend if I wasn't such a lush...and he told me that he doesn't have the $$ for a relationship...and I said that he didn't need $$ cuz I didn't like people paying for me anyway. But pretty much he wasn't interested...so we got back to the house, and he had to go...cuz he was opening this morning...I don't even remember people leaving, I hope I said goodbye...I was telling people that they had better not have been taking pics of me during all this, and they said that they weren't...which is good...although they would have made good black mail photos. At one point also Elaina and Brian(who got a bit drunk himself I'm proud/sad to say) and others were doing cartwheels, and they asked me to do one, and I remember saying "I can't do one when I'm sober" God I'm such a jerk...I'm going to seriously try to change my entire attitude...everyone sees me as "The angry one" or "the aggressive one" or "The mean one" of our group...I'm a hitter, as Keith found out, although he already knew...but I'm not going to hit anyone anymore. I'll let people's joking comments roll off me...or I'll just shoot back w/ my mouth and not my fists, no matter if I don't intend to hurt people. I don't even know why I hit Keith...he said I asked for my bag, and he brought it to me, I got up to take it, stumbled and slapped him in the face. I'm such a jerk...hopefully NEVER AGAIN...I just hope nothing gets around the store...people at S&S have big mouths...