Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal
"Like a diagnosis, a label is an attempt to assert control and manage uncertainty. It may allow us the security and comfort of a mental closure and encourage us not to think about things again. But life never comes to a closure, life is process, even mystery. Life is known only by those who have found a way to be comfortable with change and the unknown" (pg. 67).
As a parent of (an adult) child with cerebral palsy, I have spent most of my adult life dealing with labels. Now as a special education teacher I am seeing more and more labels. When I was a young mom the labels became so widely used that they took on a code of their own which became commonly known as 'alphabet soup'. Our confusion was compounded.
The part about asserting control and managing uncertainty is extremely endemic to parents of special needs children. Many parents are confronted with information about the disability for the first time and then they are dealing with a death/dying issue; the death of their 'healthy' child which is replaced with a child who will have challenges. Their world is shattering right before them. When this is happening it is human nature to try to exert some sort of 'control' over any area of their life. They seek that 'security and comfort of a mental closure'. Unfortunately, there may never be closure. These parents may be destined to live with the Mystery of it all, coming to terms with finding "...a way to be comfortable with change and the unknown."
As a parent of (an adult) child with cerebral palsy, I have spent most of my adult life dealing with labels. Now as a special education teacher I am seeing more and more labels. When I was a young mom the labels became so widely used that they took on a code of their own which became commonly known as 'alphabet soup'. Our confusion was compounded.
The part about asserting control and managing uncertainty is extremely endemic to parents of special needs children. Many parents are confronted with information about the disability for the first time and then they are dealing with a death/dying issue; the death of their 'healthy' child which is replaced with a child who will have challenges. Their world is shattering right before them. When this is happening it is human nature to try to exert some sort of 'control' over any area of their life. They seek that 'security and comfort of a mental closure'. Unfortunately, there may never be closure. These parents may be destined to live with the Mystery of it all, coming to terms with finding "...a way to be comfortable with change and the unknown."