I’m stuck on the never-ending treadmill.
I had hoped to post something new and wonderful. I piece of news like, “Hey finally my life is moving forward.” But no, sadly it isn’t.
I am going nowhere, moving nowhere, walking the same path in the same spot. No progression.
I’ll bore you once again, at least those that have known me for a while and are on my Facebook page. I am going on two and a half years in my job search. TWO AND A HALF YEARS. I have actively filled out, weekly, at least between 5-10 applications. Yes, that many. In total the interviews I’ve had is less than 10. The rejection letters have been too many to keep count on.
Sure, I’m happy to have a job, I’m thrilled! I’m just not happy to have THIS job. I’m over it. No insurance and no prospect of ever getting any, not by my own doing because I can’t afford it and not by my bosses doing because he’s too stingy. Retirement plan? Yeah, he was making excuses for the first two years I worked for him and then when he finally begrudgingly decided to do something the economy conveniently tanked. That gave him the excuse of “waiting until things get better.”
My salary went down in January of 2011. I was making $220.00 less a month than I was. And now, it went down another $64.00 a month. He’s still paying himself well though, don’t you worry about him.
I cry daily. Sometimes on my way to work, sometimes at work, and sometimes on my way home. And then there are days when I do all three in the same day. It didn’t used to be this way. I used to actually love my job and coming to work. My boss was great. Then, he had an affair. And he went from being a really nice caring guy, to a selfish prick who only thinks about himself. His reasoning for having the affair was that his wife just didn’t give him enough attention. She never asked him how the business was going. She never instigated sex. She never gave him enough!
My boss is high maintenance. Working for this man is emotionally exhausting because he is so needy. He NEEDS to be liked. He NEEDS to be acknowledged. And he also suffers from a slight victim mentality. Everyone is out to get him.
I am, in a word DONE. I just can’t take it anymore. I’ve been done for a long time, but getting out of here has become the most difficult thing I’ve done in my life. Not because I don’t want to leave, but I can’t! There is no way I can leave here without another job waiting in the wings, and THAT my dear people is harder to find than a four leaf clover.
I continue to send out applications and I continue to pray and beg and plead to the forces in the universe to help me move forward. My article on litter I’ve been writing? I’m still not happy with it, because it’s difficult to finish working on it at work. I’m writing this now because I know I’ll be done quickly before my boss gets back from lunch. But I can’t work on my article here, and unfortunately here is where I have a computer. My laptop is no longer working, so I have nothing at home. The mother board is gone, kaput, dead. With no money for a new one, I’m stuck. So yeah, I can’t even write anything that I can send out to see if I can get any writing jobs.
I want so badly to move on with my life. I envision so many wonderful things, so many hopes for what I want to do. But until I get out of here, and out of this misery, the wheels can go no further.
I’m stuck.
I am going nowhere, moving nowhere, walking the same path in the same spot. No progression.
I’ll bore you once again, at least those that have known me for a while and are on my Facebook page. I am going on two and a half years in my job search. TWO AND A HALF YEARS. I have actively filled out, weekly, at least between 5-10 applications. Yes, that many. In total the interviews I’ve had is less than 10. The rejection letters have been too many to keep count on.
Sure, I’m happy to have a job, I’m thrilled! I’m just not happy to have THIS job. I’m over it. No insurance and no prospect of ever getting any, not by my own doing because I can’t afford it and not by my bosses doing because he’s too stingy. Retirement plan? Yeah, he was making excuses for the first two years I worked for him and then when he finally begrudgingly decided to do something the economy conveniently tanked. That gave him the excuse of “waiting until things get better.”
My salary went down in January of 2011. I was making $220.00 less a month than I was. And now, it went down another $64.00 a month. He’s still paying himself well though, don’t you worry about him.
I cry daily. Sometimes on my way to work, sometimes at work, and sometimes on my way home. And then there are days when I do all three in the same day. It didn’t used to be this way. I used to actually love my job and coming to work. My boss was great. Then, he had an affair. And he went from being a really nice caring guy, to a selfish prick who only thinks about himself. His reasoning for having the affair was that his wife just didn’t give him enough attention. She never asked him how the business was going. She never instigated sex. She never gave him enough!
My boss is high maintenance. Working for this man is emotionally exhausting because he is so needy. He NEEDS to be liked. He NEEDS to be acknowledged. And he also suffers from a slight victim mentality. Everyone is out to get him.
I am, in a word DONE. I just can’t take it anymore. I’ve been done for a long time, but getting out of here has become the most difficult thing I’ve done in my life. Not because I don’t want to leave, but I can’t! There is no way I can leave here without another job waiting in the wings, and THAT my dear people is harder to find than a four leaf clover.
I continue to send out applications and I continue to pray and beg and plead to the forces in the universe to help me move forward. My article on litter I’ve been writing? I’m still not happy with it, because it’s difficult to finish working on it at work. I’m writing this now because I know I’ll be done quickly before my boss gets back from lunch. But I can’t work on my article here, and unfortunately here is where I have a computer. My laptop is no longer working, so I have nothing at home. The mother board is gone, kaput, dead. With no money for a new one, I’m stuck. So yeah, I can’t even write anything that I can send out to see if I can get any writing jobs.
I want so badly to move on with my life. I envision so many wonderful things, so many hopes for what I want to do. But until I get out of here, and out of this misery, the wheels can go no further.
I’m stuck.