Somewhere in Britannia, Let's Just Say Forever Ago (Saturday Fandom Time)
Gabrielle hadn't been able to stop dreaming about killing Meridian ever since they'd fled the ruins of the temple of Dahak. It was always the same dream: she was sitting in a sunlit field, surrounded by flowers, when Meridian came up the hill toward her smiling. She'd smile back; they'd laugh; Meridian would step forward to hug her.
The knife would appear, just floating in midair where only Gabrielle could see it. She'd stare at it for a while, knowing what it meant and what was expected of her -- and she'd reach out deliberately to take it and stab Meridian anyway.
She'd wake throwing up, and Xena would always be there to hold her.
"I had that dream again," she said to Xena this morning, miserably and unnecessarily.
"Yeah, I know." Xena stroked her hair. "Part of the same thing, Gabrielle. Your body and your dreams are just reacting to your first kill."
Gabrielle flinched; calling it her 'first' as if it wouldn't be her only one? Xena meant well, she knew that, but she hated how it sounded. "I'll never forgive myself," she insisted.
"It was instinct," Xena argued.
"No, you're wrong," Gabrielle countered. "I made the decision to kill her. I went against everything that I stand for."
It felt like they'd had this conversation every morning since then. That was because they had. Xena shook her head. "I know it's hard. I remember my first kill. But you are going to get through this thing. You're gonna wake up one day and have hope again. You'll see, there's so much good to be done."
Gabrielle shrugged and looked away. "Maybe. I just feel like I should be punished for what I've done," she said dully.
"You are being punished . . . by your conscience," Xena said, tapping her gently on the chest with one finger. "For someone like you? There couldn't be a worse torture."
As they got up to break camp, Gabrielle reflected that while it was true, it didn't make things any better.
***
Sometimes, they tried to act like things hadn't changed. They'd try to banter at each other as they headed down the road, making weak jokes about ships and the inevitable seasickness that would come since their only way of getting back to Greece (Gabrielle couldn't have called Portalocity even if she'd gotten a phone signal, since her battery was dead) was via ship.
That got derailed, anyway, once the Banshees showed up. It complicated matters even further the moment they realized that while the Banshees could hit them, they couldn't hit back.
Or . . . hit Xena back, at least, since they weren't even looking at Gabrielle as a combatant.
"We honor you," cooed one of them, with white hair and greyish skin, slinking up behind her with a sultry air that made Gabrielle's skin crawl.
"Xena! I don't know why, but they won't attack me!" she yelled.
"Good," Xena drawled as her sword whooshed ineffectually through one of the others. "All the more for me."
Gabrielle tried to push her way forward. "Will you just stay behind me?"
Xena was going to have none of that, it seemed. "I'm gonna kick these bitches' butts!" she insisted . . . and whistled a punch that went through a Banshee's head.
"Gabrielle!" The Banshee whirled away from Xena and practically bowed in front of her. "We mean you no harm!"
"We're your friends," the first one entreated. "We love you. We worship you!"
This just got creepier and creepier, and the third chiming in didn't help. "Let us care for you. You are the chosen one!"
That, it seemed, was enough for Xena too, and she grabbed Gabrielle by the arm. "Come on," she said, abandoning all pretense of trying to fight. "They're ranting. Come on!"
So they ran. They had to double back on their steps several times when the Banshees reappeared -- Gabrielle couldn't help feeling as if they were being herded somehow -- but eventually, they found themselves on a clear path out of the woods.
"What do you think they wanted with me?" Gabrielle asked between breaths.
Xena snorted in disgust. "Who knows? It's just another reason to get out of Britannia and back to Greece. They were very strange."
Gabrielle didn't really feel up to making a crack about how Xena's eloquence was breathtaking. "Yeah, you're telling me. And I thought the Greek immortals were freaks," she said instead.
"Yeah, but they're our freaks." Xena snuck a sidelong look at her. "You all right?"
"I'm not hurt," Gabrielle assured her. "It's just . . . my soul. Xena, I thought that Khrafstar was leading me to the salvation of the world-- through peace and light. And instead I discovered the heart of darkness. I became a part of that. I think that that's what the Banshees were talking about -- that maybe that there's an evil in me -- and that they want to worship that?"
Xena turned and put her hands on Gabrielle's shoulders, saying insistently, "Now, you stop that. Gabrielle, what you're talking now is nonsense. What happened in that temple cannot destroy the core of your goodness. It only gave it a greater challenge. You're gonna rise above it. I know you will. Come on . . . we've got passage on a ship to book."
***
The Phoenician trader had driven a hard bargain, but in the end he and Xena settled on a price for the trip, and then it was time to head for the local tavern for a meal. As if once in the day wasn't enough for this sort of thing, everything went awry then too.
They'd only just settled down for a meal when a stone crashed through the front window of the tavern because glass panes exist in the Very Special Greece, and in the wake of the sound came the shouting of an angry mob of villagers.
"What are they saying?" Gabrielle asked, looking at Xena, whose expression was as close as it ever came to horrified.
She didn't have to; she could make out the screams of "Burn the witch!" easily enough, just a moment later. Memories of the Jhinka came to mind again, and she froze.
"Why don't you just get out of here?" demanded the innkeeper, storming over to their table, but Gabrielle barely heard him. "I don't deserve this!"
She didn't fight when Xena hauled her bodily out of the chair and kicked down the front door of the tavern, bulling her way through the mob with Gabrielle in tow. "Go!" Xena barked, gesturing emphatically at the path they'd just come down not too long before. "I'll hold them off, just go!"
So she did. Back toward the forest of the Banshees.
When Xena caught up to her, she explained that the mob had been set on them by a group of knights who called themselves the Warriors of the Pierced Heart. What Xena didn't tell her was that some of the villagers had explained that the knights believed Gabrielle would bring the beginning of the end of goodness. All she did say was that it was time for a rematch with the Banshees -- and if Gabrielle knew her, which she was sure she did, she'd have some business to take care of with these Warriors of the Pierced Heart as well.
It was getting dark by the time they made headway into the forest, and they were both exhausted, but the threat of being caught up to by the mob, not to mention the howls of something that definitely wasn't a pack of wolves, ruled out the possibility of just camping out. Eventually they found a cave (a cave, again) that Xena deemed safe enough to shelter them until morning.
"Go on in," she told Gabrielle. "I'm gonna scout out the place, make sure we're defended."
Too tired to argue, Gabrielle headed into the cave -- and bit back a shriek when the Banshees appeared in front of her.
With an eerie twirl, one of them came up and bowed before her. "Don't be afraid, Gabrielle."
"Why are you doing this? What do you want with me?" Gabrielle demanded half-hysterically, bringing her staff up.
"We want to serve you," crooned the second.
"Worship you," added the third, who was holding a bundle in her arms as she approached.
Gabrielle shook her head and echoed, confused, "Worship me?"
"You are the gate," the first Banshee said, guiding her toward a rock ledge. "The way . . . the spring."
"I don't -- I don't understand," Gabrielle protested, but she wasn't fighting; she sat down on the ledge as the Banshees closed in on her.
"Don't you know?" the first Banshee asked again as the third stepped forward and laid the bundle on Gabrielle's lap. "You were the key; the last necessary element. Your sacrifice brought forth life -- change -- a new order to the world."
With a soft, keening cry of glee the second Banshee reached out to pull back a fold of the blanket that swathed the bundle to reveal the face of an infant. "Behold, the fruit of your deeds: the child of darkness."
"What?" Gabrielle got out, but there was no answer; before the word was even out of her mouth, the Banshees had disappeared.
In the sudden silence of the cave, the baby gurgled, and it was such a helpless, innocent, human sound that Gabrielle couldn't even find it in herself to recoil. "No, no, shh," she said quickly, scooping the bundle up to rock the baby in her arms. "It's okay, it's --"
"What's this?" Xena's voice suddenly echoed off the cave walls in the light of the torch she'd brought with her.
Gabrielle looked up at her, equal parts confusion and amazement in her voice. "I don't know. I'm not sure. I can't explain how this happened, but somehow or other, Xena, I can feel it . . . I know. She's mine."
[OOC: Still NFI/NFB/OOC okay, yep. Adapted from X:WP season 3's "Gabrielle's Hope," with some pretty big changes because hi, I was so not going the Rosemary's Baby route with this. Was just not. Going. There. To be continued, and I will never be able to be done apologizing to history, will I . . .]
The knife would appear, just floating in midair where only Gabrielle could see it. She'd stare at it for a while, knowing what it meant and what was expected of her -- and she'd reach out deliberately to take it and stab Meridian anyway.
She'd wake throwing up, and Xena would always be there to hold her.
"I had that dream again," she said to Xena this morning, miserably and unnecessarily.
"Yeah, I know." Xena stroked her hair. "Part of the same thing, Gabrielle. Your body and your dreams are just reacting to your first kill."
Gabrielle flinched; calling it her 'first' as if it wouldn't be her only one? Xena meant well, she knew that, but she hated how it sounded. "I'll never forgive myself," she insisted.
"It was instinct," Xena argued.
"No, you're wrong," Gabrielle countered. "I made the decision to kill her. I went against everything that I stand for."
It felt like they'd had this conversation every morning since then. That was because they had. Xena shook her head. "I know it's hard. I remember my first kill. But you are going to get through this thing. You're gonna wake up one day and have hope again. You'll see, there's so much good to be done."
Gabrielle shrugged and looked away. "Maybe. I just feel like I should be punished for what I've done," she said dully.
"You are being punished . . . by your conscience," Xena said, tapping her gently on the chest with one finger. "For someone like you? There couldn't be a worse torture."
As they got up to break camp, Gabrielle reflected that while it was true, it didn't make things any better.
***
Sometimes, they tried to act like things hadn't changed. They'd try to banter at each other as they headed down the road, making weak jokes about ships and the inevitable seasickness that would come since their only way of getting back to Greece (Gabrielle couldn't have called Portalocity even if she'd gotten a phone signal, since her battery was dead) was via ship.
That got derailed, anyway, once the Banshees showed up. It complicated matters even further the moment they realized that while the Banshees could hit them, they couldn't hit back.
Or . . . hit Xena back, at least, since they weren't even looking at Gabrielle as a combatant.
"We honor you," cooed one of them, with white hair and greyish skin, slinking up behind her with a sultry air that made Gabrielle's skin crawl.
"Xena! I don't know why, but they won't attack me!" she yelled.
"Good," Xena drawled as her sword whooshed ineffectually through one of the others. "All the more for me."
Gabrielle tried to push her way forward. "Will you just stay behind me?"
Xena was going to have none of that, it seemed. "I'm gonna kick these bitches' butts!" she insisted . . . and whistled a punch that went through a Banshee's head.
"Gabrielle!" The Banshee whirled away from Xena and practically bowed in front of her. "We mean you no harm!"
"We're your friends," the first one entreated. "We love you. We worship you!"
This just got creepier and creepier, and the third chiming in didn't help. "Let us care for you. You are the chosen one!"
That, it seemed, was enough for Xena too, and she grabbed Gabrielle by the arm. "Come on," she said, abandoning all pretense of trying to fight. "They're ranting. Come on!"
So they ran. They had to double back on their steps several times when the Banshees reappeared -- Gabrielle couldn't help feeling as if they were being herded somehow -- but eventually, they found themselves on a clear path out of the woods.
"What do you think they wanted with me?" Gabrielle asked between breaths.
Xena snorted in disgust. "Who knows? It's just another reason to get out of Britannia and back to Greece. They were very strange."
Gabrielle didn't really feel up to making a crack about how Xena's eloquence was breathtaking. "Yeah, you're telling me. And I thought the Greek immortals were freaks," she said instead.
"Yeah, but they're our freaks." Xena snuck a sidelong look at her. "You all right?"
"I'm not hurt," Gabrielle assured her. "It's just . . . my soul. Xena, I thought that Khrafstar was leading me to the salvation of the world-- through peace and light. And instead I discovered the heart of darkness. I became a part of that. I think that that's what the Banshees were talking about -- that maybe that there's an evil in me -- and that they want to worship that?"
Xena turned and put her hands on Gabrielle's shoulders, saying insistently, "Now, you stop that. Gabrielle, what you're talking now is nonsense. What happened in that temple cannot destroy the core of your goodness. It only gave it a greater challenge. You're gonna rise above it. I know you will. Come on . . . we've got passage on a ship to book."
***
The Phoenician trader had driven a hard bargain, but in the end he and Xena settled on a price for the trip, and then it was time to head for the local tavern for a meal. As if once in the day wasn't enough for this sort of thing, everything went awry then too.
They'd only just settled down for a meal when a stone crashed through the front window of the tavern because glass panes exist in the Very Special Greece, and in the wake of the sound came the shouting of an angry mob of villagers.
"What are they saying?" Gabrielle asked, looking at Xena, whose expression was as close as it ever came to horrified.
She didn't have to; she could make out the screams of "Burn the witch!" easily enough, just a moment later. Memories of the Jhinka came to mind again, and she froze.
"Why don't you just get out of here?" demanded the innkeeper, storming over to their table, but Gabrielle barely heard him. "I don't deserve this!"
She didn't fight when Xena hauled her bodily out of the chair and kicked down the front door of the tavern, bulling her way through the mob with Gabrielle in tow. "Go!" Xena barked, gesturing emphatically at the path they'd just come down not too long before. "I'll hold them off, just go!"
So she did. Back toward the forest of the Banshees.
When Xena caught up to her, she explained that the mob had been set on them by a group of knights who called themselves the Warriors of the Pierced Heart. What Xena didn't tell her was that some of the villagers had explained that the knights believed Gabrielle would bring the beginning of the end of goodness. All she did say was that it was time for a rematch with the Banshees -- and if Gabrielle knew her, which she was sure she did, she'd have some business to take care of with these Warriors of the Pierced Heart as well.
It was getting dark by the time they made headway into the forest, and they were both exhausted, but the threat of being caught up to by the mob, not to mention the howls of something that definitely wasn't a pack of wolves, ruled out the possibility of just camping out. Eventually they found a cave (a cave, again) that Xena deemed safe enough to shelter them until morning.
"Go on in," she told Gabrielle. "I'm gonna scout out the place, make sure we're defended."
Too tired to argue, Gabrielle headed into the cave -- and bit back a shriek when the Banshees appeared in front of her.
With an eerie twirl, one of them came up and bowed before her. "Don't be afraid, Gabrielle."
"Why are you doing this? What do you want with me?" Gabrielle demanded half-hysterically, bringing her staff up.
"We want to serve you," crooned the second.
"Worship you," added the third, who was holding a bundle in her arms as she approached.
Gabrielle shook her head and echoed, confused, "Worship me?"
"You are the gate," the first Banshee said, guiding her toward a rock ledge. "The way . . . the spring."
"I don't -- I don't understand," Gabrielle protested, but she wasn't fighting; she sat down on the ledge as the Banshees closed in on her.
"Don't you know?" the first Banshee asked again as the third stepped forward and laid the bundle on Gabrielle's lap. "You were the key; the last necessary element. Your sacrifice brought forth life -- change -- a new order to the world."
With a soft, keening cry of glee the second Banshee reached out to pull back a fold of the blanket that swathed the bundle to reveal the face of an infant. "Behold, the fruit of your deeds: the child of darkness."
"What?" Gabrielle got out, but there was no answer; before the word was even out of her mouth, the Banshees had disappeared.
In the sudden silence of the cave, the baby gurgled, and it was such a helpless, innocent, human sound that Gabrielle couldn't even find it in herself to recoil. "No, no, shh," she said quickly, scooping the bundle up to rock the baby in her arms. "It's okay, it's --"
"What's this?" Xena's voice suddenly echoed off the cave walls in the light of the torch she'd brought with her.
Gabrielle looked up at her, equal parts confusion and amazement in her voice. "I don't know. I'm not sure. I can't explain how this happened, but somehow or other, Xena, I can feel it . . . I know. She's mine."
[OOC: Still NFI/NFB/OOC okay, yep. Adapted from X:WP season 3's "Gabrielle's Hope," with some pretty big changes because hi, I was so not going the Rosemary's Baby route with this. Was just not. Going. There. To be continued, and I will never be able to be done apologizing to history, will I . . .]