For a Friend
A bus stop with shelter. The weather is overcast. ANGEL is sitting inside the shelter, CENTER stage. Enter GIRL stage RIGHT on a cell phone.
GIRL: Are you out of your mind? No, I’m not going to forgive you! She was my sister! No, don’t even start that shit with me. Fuck you.
GIRL angrily hangs up and enters the shelter. She sits down with a sigh.
ANGEL [after a brief pause]: Your life sucks.
GIRL: Well, thanks for the input, complete fucking stranger. It’s much appreciated.
ANGEL: I can help you.
GIRL: You could also mind your own business, if that’s fine with you.
ANGEL: I don’t think you realize who I am.
GIRL: I don’t think you realize I’m seconds away from knocking your teeth loose, buddy. Mind your own business.
ANGEL: I’m an angel.
GIRL: ...What?
ANGEL: I’m an angel, and I can help you, Donna.
GIRL just looks at her.
ANGEL: It’s not Donna, is it? Uh… Debra? Dianna? Something beginning with ‘d’, right?
GIRL: What's the matter with you?
ANGEL: Desiree?
GIRL: Not even close, but even if you got it right I wouldn’t tell you, freakshow.
ANGEL: Can I call you Donna?
GIRL: No.
ANGEL: Hear me out, Donna.
GIRL: Fuckin’ a, leave me alone.
ANGEL: Ever seen It’s a Wonderful Life?
GIRL: Yes.
ANGEL: Well, just like in the movie, Donna, I'm an angel and I’m here to help you.
GIRL: You’re not an angel, you’re a psychopath.
ANGEL: I could prove it.
GIRL: Humor me.
ANGEL: I’ll command the weather.
GIRL: Go for it.
ANGEL: Make it sunny.
GIRL: Do it.
ANGEL stands up and steps a little outside the shelter. Eyes closed, she lifts her arms slowly, as if calling upon a power, until they are outstretched over her head. She stays in this position for a few seconds, before opening an eye, then the other. She looks around, notices that there is no change in the weather whatsoever, then sits back down on the bench.
GIRL: So where’s the sunshine?
ANGEL: Uh… it takes a while.
GIRL: Do you even have a bus to catch, or is this where you sleep?
ANGEL: Donna-
GIRL: My name is not Donna!
ANGEL: Susan, you need to open yourself up to me if you expect me to help you.
GIRL: I don’t need help, especially not from a nutjob hobo.
ANGEL: You’re having problems with your boyfriend, aren’t you?
GIRL: I don’t have a boyfriend.
ANGEL: Anymore.
GIRL remains silent.
ANGEL: Right?
GIRL: It really isn’t any of your business.
ANGEL: I keep saying it, but you keep ignoring me. Let me help you.
GIRL: And what could you do, Ms. Angel?
ANGEL: Change your life forever.
GIRL: Are you trying to sell me something?
ANGEL: No, I’m not. You’re in a rut, Susan. Your life is going nowhere. If you let me, you can find the guy you were meant for, and get your job back.
GIRL: I have a job.
ANGEL: Keep your job, then.
GIRL: I hate my job.
ANGEL: Get a better job is what I meant to say.
GIRL: Sure.
Enter MAN stage LEFT. He stands stage LEFT of the shelter.
ANGEL: I’m having an off day, bear with me.
GIRL: That must be it.
ANGEL [spotting the MAN]: There he is.
GIRL: Who?
ANGEL: Your soulmate, Susan.
GIRL: My name is not Susan.
ANGEL: Alright, back to Donna. Romance won’t happen by itself, you know.
GIRL: You want me to go talk to him?
ANGEL: I can’t do everything for you.
GIRL: You haven’t done a single fucking thing but annoy me.
ANGEL [Grabbing GIRL’s sleeve and leaning in close]: Time's fleeting, Donna. Talk to him before his bus comes and he’s carried out of your life, forever!
GIRL: [struggling]: Get the fuck off me!
MAN [just as GIRL raises her arm to throw a punch]: Excuse me, do you have the time?
GIRL [glancing at his watch as ANGEL slides back to her original position]: Half past two.
MAN: Thank you.
ANGEL: She loves you.
MAN: I’m sorry?
ANGEL: My friend Donna here.
GIRL: I am not your friend.
ANGEL: You two would make a great couple, don’t you think?
MAN: Excuse me?
GIRL: Don’t look at me, I don’t even know this girl.
MAN: Okay…
ANGEL [whispering]: Why aren’t you going for him?
GIRL [loudly]: You are insane.
MAN: Maybe I should leave you two alone…
ANGEL: Hey wait, wait!
Exit MAN stage LEFT.
ANGEL: Well I hope you’re happy. Now you'll never know true love.
GIRL [dramatically]: My lovelorn heart is cleft in twain.
ANGEL: He would have gotten you a great job, too.
GIRL [standing]: No. He wouldn’t have. You are wrong about that. Wrong like you were about how he was my soulmate. Wrong about my job. Wrong about my name. Wrong about everything you’ve said ever since I got here. I’ve had enough.
GIRL tosses ANGEL a quarter.
ANGEL: Where are you going?
GIRL: The bus stop across the street. I just remembered I have some business in town anyway.
ANGEL: Bus stop across the street?
GIRL: Yes, that’s what I said. The one right there where that girl’s standing.
ANGEL: Where… oh. [Comprehesion dawns] Oh. That’s… where I… supposed to… [trails off, mumbling self-consciously]
GIRL: You’re the one who needs some fucking help. Don’t follow me.
Exit GIRL stage RIGHT.
ANGEL [after a pause]: Ah, forget it. Donna can figure things out herself.
Exit ANGEL stage LEFT.
GIRL: Are you out of your mind? No, I’m not going to forgive you! She was my sister! No, don’t even start that shit with me. Fuck you.
GIRL angrily hangs up and enters the shelter. She sits down with a sigh.
ANGEL [after a brief pause]: Your life sucks.
GIRL: Well, thanks for the input, complete fucking stranger. It’s much appreciated.
ANGEL: I can help you.
GIRL: You could also mind your own business, if that’s fine with you.
ANGEL: I don’t think you realize who I am.
GIRL: I don’t think you realize I’m seconds away from knocking your teeth loose, buddy. Mind your own business.
ANGEL: I’m an angel.
GIRL: ...What?
ANGEL: I’m an angel, and I can help you, Donna.
GIRL just looks at her.
ANGEL: It’s not Donna, is it? Uh… Debra? Dianna? Something beginning with ‘d’, right?
GIRL: What's the matter with you?
ANGEL: Desiree?
GIRL: Not even close, but even if you got it right I wouldn’t tell you, freakshow.
ANGEL: Can I call you Donna?
GIRL: No.
ANGEL: Hear me out, Donna.
GIRL: Fuckin’ a, leave me alone.
ANGEL: Ever seen It’s a Wonderful Life?
GIRL: Yes.
ANGEL: Well, just like in the movie, Donna, I'm an angel and I’m here to help you.
GIRL: You’re not an angel, you’re a psychopath.
ANGEL: I could prove it.
GIRL: Humor me.
ANGEL: I’ll command the weather.
GIRL: Go for it.
ANGEL: Make it sunny.
GIRL: Do it.
ANGEL stands up and steps a little outside the shelter. Eyes closed, she lifts her arms slowly, as if calling upon a power, until they are outstretched over her head. She stays in this position for a few seconds, before opening an eye, then the other. She looks around, notices that there is no change in the weather whatsoever, then sits back down on the bench.
GIRL: So where’s the sunshine?
ANGEL: Uh… it takes a while.
GIRL: Do you even have a bus to catch, or is this where you sleep?
ANGEL: Donna-
GIRL: My name is not Donna!
ANGEL: Susan, you need to open yourself up to me if you expect me to help you.
GIRL: I don’t need help, especially not from a nutjob hobo.
ANGEL: You’re having problems with your boyfriend, aren’t you?
GIRL: I don’t have a boyfriend.
ANGEL: Anymore.
GIRL remains silent.
ANGEL: Right?
GIRL: It really isn’t any of your business.
ANGEL: I keep saying it, but you keep ignoring me. Let me help you.
GIRL: And what could you do, Ms. Angel?
ANGEL: Change your life forever.
GIRL: Are you trying to sell me something?
ANGEL: No, I’m not. You’re in a rut, Susan. Your life is going nowhere. If you let me, you can find the guy you were meant for, and get your job back.
GIRL: I have a job.
ANGEL: Keep your job, then.
GIRL: I hate my job.
ANGEL: Get a better job is what I meant to say.
GIRL: Sure.
Enter MAN stage LEFT. He stands stage LEFT of the shelter.
ANGEL: I’m having an off day, bear with me.
GIRL: That must be it.
ANGEL [spotting the MAN]: There he is.
GIRL: Who?
ANGEL: Your soulmate, Susan.
GIRL: My name is not Susan.
ANGEL: Alright, back to Donna. Romance won’t happen by itself, you know.
GIRL: You want me to go talk to him?
ANGEL: I can’t do everything for you.
GIRL: You haven’t done a single fucking thing but annoy me.
ANGEL [Grabbing GIRL’s sleeve and leaning in close]: Time's fleeting, Donna. Talk to him before his bus comes and he’s carried out of your life, forever!
GIRL: [struggling]: Get the fuck off me!
MAN [just as GIRL raises her arm to throw a punch]: Excuse me, do you have the time?
GIRL [glancing at his watch as ANGEL slides back to her original position]: Half past two.
MAN: Thank you.
ANGEL: She loves you.
MAN: I’m sorry?
ANGEL: My friend Donna here.
GIRL: I am not your friend.
ANGEL: You two would make a great couple, don’t you think?
MAN: Excuse me?
GIRL: Don’t look at me, I don’t even know this girl.
MAN: Okay…
ANGEL [whispering]: Why aren’t you going for him?
GIRL [loudly]: You are insane.
MAN: Maybe I should leave you two alone…
ANGEL: Hey wait, wait!
Exit MAN stage LEFT.
ANGEL: Well I hope you’re happy. Now you'll never know true love.
GIRL [dramatically]: My lovelorn heart is cleft in twain.
ANGEL: He would have gotten you a great job, too.
GIRL [standing]: No. He wouldn’t have. You are wrong about that. Wrong like you were about how he was my soulmate. Wrong about my job. Wrong about my name. Wrong about everything you’ve said ever since I got here. I’ve had enough.
GIRL tosses ANGEL a quarter.
ANGEL: Where are you going?
GIRL: The bus stop across the street. I just remembered I have some business in town anyway.
ANGEL: Bus stop across the street?
GIRL: Yes, that’s what I said. The one right there where that girl’s standing.
ANGEL: Where… oh. [Comprehesion dawns] Oh. That’s… where I… supposed to… [trails off, mumbling self-consciously]
GIRL: You’re the one who needs some fucking help. Don’t follow me.
Exit GIRL stage RIGHT.
ANGEL [after a pause]: Ah, forget it. Donna can figure things out herself.
Exit ANGEL stage LEFT.