Fic.
Fic: Colorblind
Author: the_smooth_one
Rating: PG.
Warnings: Some unrequited boy on boy love.
Feedback: Always appreciated.
Pairings: Jade/Hunter
Summary: "I am colorblind..."
Inspired by The Counting Crows's Colorblind
Cross-posted here and at my GJ, her_majesty.
Everything used to be in color. Bright, vivid colors that stuck with him, colors that flashed against his eyes when he closed them. They were almost blinding, if you weren’t careful. But he was always careful, always made sure to squint when he looked at something. He had to. He didn’t want to go blind.
He turns when his name is called, and there is Hunter. Hunter’s eyes are so blue it sometimes hurts, and so Jade makes sure to never look Hunter in the eye. “What color is this?” Hunter ends up asking, holding up a shirt that’s a darker blue than his eyes.
“Blue.” Jade has to rub at his eyes, they’re starting to hurt. “Dark blue,” he adds.
Hunter is satisfied. He puts the shirt on. He has no qualms using Jade’s eyes to see color, but he ignores them and their emotions most of the time. He doesn’t see the look on Jade’s face; he only sees the brightness on the other side of the room, he only sees black as it shines underneath the light, he is blinded by its glare. No one must have told him to be careful when looking at colors.
Hunter’s shirt is blue, so are his eyes. Davey’s hair is black, and Jade is green with envy.
He used to see in color. Sharp, concise colors he could easily discern, colors whose names he could recite off the top of his head.
Jade was named after a green stone. It is only appropriate that he himself was green. He told Hunter this once, which lead to a discussion on what “color” everyone was. Adam, Jade decided, had been deep, tranquil blue, like an ocean, calm and rolling with the waves until he became them and crashed down upon the shores, destroying whatever was in his path, then soothing the debris, just as waves do as they finally calm themselves.
Hunter liked this description. He asked Jade what Davey was, and Jade had said purple, dark purple. He was royal and majestic, becoming God with one touch of his hand, one well-placed smile. Hunter had shaken his head and said no, Davey was black. When Jade asked why, Hunter had smiled. “Because black’s the only color I can really see,” he said.
Hunter is blind. He didn’t see the look on Jade’s face, and asked Jade what color HE was. Jade could not tell him the truth. He could not tell Hunter what color he saw when he looked at him, so he lied. He said, “I don’t know” and walked away.
Hunter is red. He is red because every time Jade looks at Hunter, Jade’s sure he’s bleeding.
He expects one day he’ll be able to touch his heart and see the red that will stain his fingers. Not that it really matters…Hunter can see red, yes, but he can’t see it when it comes from Jade. And what’s the point of bleeding if you’re the only one who sees it?
There used to be shades of colors. Muted and deep shades that covered what regular colors could not, shades that described aspects of his life.
Black and white, that’s Davey and Hunter, Jade thinks as he looks at them. He wishes he could say something, but his throat has betrayed him like everything else in his life. He says nothing as he watches the way Hunter stares at Davey, at the guilty, knowing way Davey looks back. Do they know what’s going on? Jade wonders. Do they realize the other knows they’re not on the same wavelength?
When Hunter walks up to him, a shirt in hand, Jade sees the tears in Hunter’s eyes, crystal and clear. They make his eyes so blue Jade can almost see them. “What color is this shirt?” he asks again. The tell-tale question, the question that always brings Hunter back. What color?
What color, what color….Jade can barely tell anymore. “It’s really hard to tell,” he admits. “It’s navy blue. Or black. Can you not tell?”
“No. It looks black but I couldn’t tell…”
“I can’t either.”
They look at each other for a long time. Jade can feel his heart beat rising, and Hunter wipes away at the tears in his eyes. They’re starting to look clearer. “I don’t think it’s black,” he says. It feels like there’s more to his words, more he’s not saying, that he wasn’t just talking about the shirt.
“Not everything has to be black,” Jade reminds Hunter.
“Yeah.” Hunter looks at him. “But I like black.”
Jade sighs. “I know you do.”
Black and white, Jade thinks again, they’re black and white. They’re all just one big song lyric. Black, white, everything’s gray.
Jade…he was named after the stone. Now he, and everything around him, is gray.
Now there is no color. Everything is dull and washed out, no shades, no anything at all. There is nothing to look at. There is nothing to see, nothing to inspire emotion anymore. It seems that Jade forgot to squint. He forgot to be careful. And now his worst fear has come true. He is blind.
He’s missing out on a lot. Now that he can’t see color, the sunsets don’t mean that much to him. And of course, the worst thing of all…Hunter does not come to him anymore and ask what color his shirts are. He misses that more than he can put into words, but there is nothing he can do. Hunter has chosen what is easy for him. He has no use for Jade or his eyes anymore, now that Jade is now colorblind as well.
Maybe it’s not so bad. Maybe his eyes will stop hurting. Maybe his heart will too. Maybe he should stop trying and accept the darkness that he lives in now.
He does wish he could see the colors in the sky. The sun is setting. He thinks there’s some blue and some purple, some orange and some pink, but he doesn’t care. No point. Hunter made his choice. Jade lost his. Once again, the crown prince wins, and Jade sits in the shadows, per usual.
He hears his name being called, and he turns. Hunter’s there, panting like he ran to catch up. Jade almost tells him he never had to run, but he doesn’t. He instead tells Hunter that he can’t tell him what color something is.
“I don’t need you to.”
Hunter reaches up and holds Jade’s head in his hands, staring him in the eye. Jade tries not to look, but Hunter doesn’t let go. He does not stop staring. “I don’t need you to tell me,” he says. “Your eyes are brown.”
Brown, blue, and green are the hardest colors for Hunter to recognize. Jade says nothing as Hunter leans forward and kisses him. He kisses Jade like he’s desperate, kisses Jade as if he’s found something. He pushes his tongue inside when Jade opens his mouth, and it is everything Jade never thought it would be.
They finally pull away, and Hunter speaks first. “I’m tired of seeing only black,” he shares.
“I’m tired of seeing gray,” Jade confesses.
Hunter smiles, and clarity is beautiful when it’s held in a pair of blue eyes. “Help me see again?”
Jade kisses Hunter hungrily, kisses him so hard he bites Hunter’s lip and he can taste the red. When he opens his eyes, and he looks at Hunter’s face, slowly but surely, his sight is coming back to him. He wipes at the spot of blood on Hunter’s lip, and he smiles. “Only if you help me see too.”
The sky is a very pretty shade of pink.
Author: the_smooth_one
Rating: PG.
Warnings: Some unrequited boy on boy love.
Feedback: Always appreciated.
Pairings: Jade/Hunter
Summary: "I am colorblind..."
Inspired by The Counting Crows's Colorblind
Cross-posted here and at my GJ, her_majesty.
Everything used to be in color. Bright, vivid colors that stuck with him, colors that flashed against his eyes when he closed them. They were almost blinding, if you weren’t careful. But he was always careful, always made sure to squint when he looked at something. He had to. He didn’t want to go blind.
He turns when his name is called, and there is Hunter. Hunter’s eyes are so blue it sometimes hurts, and so Jade makes sure to never look Hunter in the eye. “What color is this?” Hunter ends up asking, holding up a shirt that’s a darker blue than his eyes.
“Blue.” Jade has to rub at his eyes, they’re starting to hurt. “Dark blue,” he adds.
Hunter is satisfied. He puts the shirt on. He has no qualms using Jade’s eyes to see color, but he ignores them and their emotions most of the time. He doesn’t see the look on Jade’s face; he only sees the brightness on the other side of the room, he only sees black as it shines underneath the light, he is blinded by its glare. No one must have told him to be careful when looking at colors.
Hunter’s shirt is blue, so are his eyes. Davey’s hair is black, and Jade is green with envy.
He used to see in color. Sharp, concise colors he could easily discern, colors whose names he could recite off the top of his head.
Jade was named after a green stone. It is only appropriate that he himself was green. He told Hunter this once, which lead to a discussion on what “color” everyone was. Adam, Jade decided, had been deep, tranquil blue, like an ocean, calm and rolling with the waves until he became them and crashed down upon the shores, destroying whatever was in his path, then soothing the debris, just as waves do as they finally calm themselves.
Hunter liked this description. He asked Jade what Davey was, and Jade had said purple, dark purple. He was royal and majestic, becoming God with one touch of his hand, one well-placed smile. Hunter had shaken his head and said no, Davey was black. When Jade asked why, Hunter had smiled. “Because black’s the only color I can really see,” he said.
Hunter is blind. He didn’t see the look on Jade’s face, and asked Jade what color HE was. Jade could not tell him the truth. He could not tell Hunter what color he saw when he looked at him, so he lied. He said, “I don’t know” and walked away.
Hunter is red. He is red because every time Jade looks at Hunter, Jade’s sure he’s bleeding.
He expects one day he’ll be able to touch his heart and see the red that will stain his fingers. Not that it really matters…Hunter can see red, yes, but he can’t see it when it comes from Jade. And what’s the point of bleeding if you’re the only one who sees it?
There used to be shades of colors. Muted and deep shades that covered what regular colors could not, shades that described aspects of his life.
Black and white, that’s Davey and Hunter, Jade thinks as he looks at them. He wishes he could say something, but his throat has betrayed him like everything else in his life. He says nothing as he watches the way Hunter stares at Davey, at the guilty, knowing way Davey looks back. Do they know what’s going on? Jade wonders. Do they realize the other knows they’re not on the same wavelength?
When Hunter walks up to him, a shirt in hand, Jade sees the tears in Hunter’s eyes, crystal and clear. They make his eyes so blue Jade can almost see them. “What color is this shirt?” he asks again. The tell-tale question, the question that always brings Hunter back. What color?
What color, what color….Jade can barely tell anymore. “It’s really hard to tell,” he admits. “It’s navy blue. Or black. Can you not tell?”
“No. It looks black but I couldn’t tell…”
“I can’t either.”
They look at each other for a long time. Jade can feel his heart beat rising, and Hunter wipes away at the tears in his eyes. They’re starting to look clearer. “I don’t think it’s black,” he says. It feels like there’s more to his words, more he’s not saying, that he wasn’t just talking about the shirt.
“Not everything has to be black,” Jade reminds Hunter.
“Yeah.” Hunter looks at him. “But I like black.”
Jade sighs. “I know you do.”
Black and white, Jade thinks again, they’re black and white. They’re all just one big song lyric. Black, white, everything’s gray.
Jade…he was named after the stone. Now he, and everything around him, is gray.
Now there is no color. Everything is dull and washed out, no shades, no anything at all. There is nothing to look at. There is nothing to see, nothing to inspire emotion anymore. It seems that Jade forgot to squint. He forgot to be careful. And now his worst fear has come true. He is blind.
He’s missing out on a lot. Now that he can’t see color, the sunsets don’t mean that much to him. And of course, the worst thing of all…Hunter does not come to him anymore and ask what color his shirts are. He misses that more than he can put into words, but there is nothing he can do. Hunter has chosen what is easy for him. He has no use for Jade or his eyes anymore, now that Jade is now colorblind as well.
Maybe it’s not so bad. Maybe his eyes will stop hurting. Maybe his heart will too. Maybe he should stop trying and accept the darkness that he lives in now.
He does wish he could see the colors in the sky. The sun is setting. He thinks there’s some blue and some purple, some orange and some pink, but he doesn’t care. No point. Hunter made his choice. Jade lost his. Once again, the crown prince wins, and Jade sits in the shadows, per usual.
He hears his name being called, and he turns. Hunter’s there, panting like he ran to catch up. Jade almost tells him he never had to run, but he doesn’t. He instead tells Hunter that he can’t tell him what color something is.
“I don’t need you to.”
Hunter reaches up and holds Jade’s head in his hands, staring him in the eye. Jade tries not to look, but Hunter doesn’t let go. He does not stop staring. “I don’t need you to tell me,” he says. “Your eyes are brown.”
Brown, blue, and green are the hardest colors for Hunter to recognize. Jade says nothing as Hunter leans forward and kisses him. He kisses Jade like he’s desperate, kisses Jade as if he’s found something. He pushes his tongue inside when Jade opens his mouth, and it is everything Jade never thought it would be.
They finally pull away, and Hunter speaks first. “I’m tired of seeing only black,” he shares.
“I’m tired of seeing gray,” Jade confesses.
Hunter smiles, and clarity is beautiful when it’s held in a pair of blue eyes. “Help me see again?”
Jade kisses Hunter hungrily, kisses him so hard he bites Hunter’s lip and he can taste the red. When he opens his eyes, and he looks at Hunter’s face, slowly but surely, his sight is coming back to him. He wipes at the spot of blood on Hunter’s lip, and he smiles. “Only if you help me see too.”
The sky is a very pretty shade of pink.