Графомань про Смоглока
и кроссовер "Шерлока" с "Винни-Пухом". На английском и русском. Писалось экспромтами в пятничный пост на шерлок-сообществе. Кладу сюда, чтоб не потерялось.
There was Dragon Smaug whose eyes,
Were unique as to colour and size;
When he opened them wide
Buglars all turn aside
Kneel in wonder, confessing their crimes.
Here enters our Jim Moriartsy
Whose shoes look so horribly artsy
Sherlock said, 'Tell us whether,
Your shoes are of leather,
Or of what, may I ask, Jim from IT?..
___________
Here comes our Liar and a Thief,
Whom all we know as Doctor Watson
He carries something in his pocket
I wonder is that Ring of Power?..
The Ring that Sauron had worn
The Ring that Isuldur had lost
The Ring that mortal Men desire
He has with him that Ring!.. Behold!..
With that One Ring that rules them all
That Mycroft Holmes calls "supercode"
John Watson to his clinics comes
And uses it as stethoscope!..
My name is Gollum Seb Moran
My Jim is dead, my cause is void...
But I will break that Doctor's neck
And lay my hands on "stethoscope"!..
``Just the place for a Smauglock!'' Thorin had cried,
As he landed his crew with care;
Supporting each dwarf on the top of the tide
By a finger entwined in his hair.
``Just the place for a Smauglock! I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
Just the place for a Smauglock! I have said it thrice:
What I tell you three times is true.''
" Who is the Buglar who has stethoscope
Who boasts his skill is immense.
Let him open that Door and value the goods
Kill the Smauglock and stop the suspense! "
``The rest of my speech'' (he explained to his men)
``You shall hear when I've leisure to speak it.
But with Smauglock at hand, let me tell you again!
'Tis your glorious duty to seek it!
``For Smauglock's a peculiar creature, that won't
Be caught in a commonplace way.
Do all that you know, and try all that you don't:
Not a chance must be wasted to-day!
Then a scream, shrill and high, rent the shuddering sky,
And they knew that the danger was near:
King Thorin turned pale to the tip of its beard,
And even our Bilbo felt queer.
But while he was reaching for his stethoscope,
A Dragon had swiftly drew nigh
And grabbed at Bilbo and his shards of hope
...but ended with bang on the head with the pot
that Bilbo had brought for the Shire!..
In the midst of the word John was trying to say,
In the midst of his laughter and glee,
He has suddenly given the Dragon a hug -
For the Smauglock was Sherlock, you see.
-- --
Ну и на закуску, чтобы не делать отдельного поста - пятничная версия происшествий вокруг Бартса в "Рейхенбахе".
lana2112: плюсом к ножику: Джим использовал именно его в качестве отмычки, чтобы проникнуть в квартиру на чаепитие. чем не key code? :)
anchan_uk: ...ага, а в ножике - свеерхзвуковая отвертка. Синяя или зеленая на выбор... :-)
lana2112: ну нет. но, кстати, падение ВинниПуха необходимо включить в концепцию и проанализировать. он ведь тоже падал с большой высоты и не убился. а Джон ходил внизу и говорил: "Кажется, тучки собираются..." не было ли у Шерлока в карманах воздушного шарика?
Вышел Мишка из тумана
Вынул томик Конан-Дойля
Прочитал про Шерлокхолмса
Повздыхал что меда нету
Книжку с крыши уронимши
Почесал в затылке лапой
Вот приехал Пятачок
Дописав в айпаде блог
Прочитал про шарик синий
Посмотрел наверх в сомненьях...
Положил в карман мобильник
И полез за пистолетом.
Прилетели к Бартсу пчелы
Жаждя мести всем медведам
Пожужжали, поплясали
Заглянули Мишке в очи
Прослезились, устыдились
И откинули копыта
Ехал Ослик на машине
На зеленом автокране
Ехал Ослик мимо Бартса
Но не смог проехать мимо.
Прихватил с собою зонтик
И полез вручать Медведу...
Ехал Моффатс на тандеме
Как увидел эту шнягу
Тут же сел писать сценарий
На основе материала
Из рассказов Конан-Дойля
Что валялись на дороге...
There was Dragon Smaug whose eyes,
Were unique as to colour and size;
When he opened them wide
Buglars all turn aside
Kneel in wonder, confessing their crimes.
Here enters our Jim Moriartsy
Whose shoes look so horribly artsy
Sherlock said, 'Tell us whether,
Your shoes are of leather,
Or of what, may I ask, Jim from IT?..
___________
Here comes our Liar and a Thief,
Whom all we know as Doctor Watson
He carries something in his pocket
I wonder is that Ring of Power?..
The Ring that Sauron had worn
The Ring that Isuldur had lost
The Ring that mortal Men desire
He has with him that Ring!.. Behold!..
With that One Ring that rules them all
That Mycroft Holmes calls "supercode"
John Watson to his clinics comes
And uses it as stethoscope!..
My name is Gollum Seb Moran
My Jim is dead, my cause is void...
But I will break that Doctor's neck
And lay my hands on "stethoscope"!..
``Just the place for a Smauglock!'' Thorin had cried,
As he landed his crew with care;
Supporting each dwarf on the top of the tide
By a finger entwined in his hair.
``Just the place for a Smauglock! I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
Just the place for a Smauglock! I have said it thrice:
What I tell you three times is true.''
" Who is the Buglar who has stethoscope
Who boasts his skill is immense.
Let him open that Door and value the goods
Kill the Smauglock and stop the suspense! "
``The rest of my speech'' (he explained to his men)
``You shall hear when I've leisure to speak it.
But with Smauglock at hand, let me tell you again!
'Tis your glorious duty to seek it!
``For Smauglock's a peculiar creature, that won't
Be caught in a commonplace way.
Do all that you know, and try all that you don't:
Not a chance must be wasted to-day!
Then a scream, shrill and high, rent the shuddering sky,
And they knew that the danger was near:
King Thorin turned pale to the tip of its beard,
And even our Bilbo felt queer.
But while he was reaching for his stethoscope,
A Dragon had swiftly drew nigh
And grabbed at Bilbo and his shards of hope
...but ended with bang on the head with the pot
that Bilbo had brought for the Shire!..
In the midst of the word John was trying to say,
In the midst of his laughter and glee,
He has suddenly given the Dragon a hug -
For the Smauglock was Sherlock, you see.
-- --
Ну и на закуску, чтобы не делать отдельного поста - пятничная версия происшествий вокруг Бартса в "Рейхенбахе".
lana2112: плюсом к ножику: Джим использовал именно его в качестве отмычки, чтобы проникнуть в квартиру на чаепитие. чем не key code? :)
anchan_uk: ...ага, а в ножике - свеерхзвуковая отвертка. Синяя или зеленая на выбор... :-)
lana2112: ну нет. но, кстати, падение ВинниПуха необходимо включить в концепцию и проанализировать. он ведь тоже падал с большой высоты и не убился. а Джон ходил внизу и говорил: "Кажется, тучки собираются..." не было ли у Шерлока в карманах воздушного шарика?
Вышел Мишка из тумана
Вынул томик Конан-Дойля
Прочитал про Шерлокхолмса
Повздыхал что меда нету
Книжку с крыши уронимши
Почесал в затылке лапой
Вот приехал Пятачок
Дописав в айпаде блог
Прочитал про шарик синий
Посмотрел наверх в сомненьях...
Положил в карман мобильник
И полез за пистолетом.
Прилетели к Бартсу пчелы
Жаждя мести всем медведам
Пожужжали, поплясали
Заглянули Мишке в очи
Прослезились, устыдились
И откинули копыта
Ехал Ослик на машине
На зеленом автокране
Ехал Ослик мимо Бартса
Но не смог проехать мимо.
Прихватил с собою зонтик
И полез вручать Медведу...
Ехал Моффатс на тандеме
Как увидел эту шнягу
Тут же сел писать сценарий
На основе материала
Из рассказов Конан-Дойля
Что валялись на дороге...