[015]
My endurance is up from last month. My ribs cheek bones are more prevalent, though. I'll have to stock up on more calorie-rich foods. Especially of the snack variety -- I hardly ever get time to really cook something anymore.
Neko-kun's been acting surly, too. Maybe I need to let him go outside more often. Especially when I get called on missions.
[Private]
It's been...months now. I still get to see her now and then, but if I stop and dare to think about it I just ache. And feel like a moron. She looks like she's getting healthier - she can even go on light duty, now.
...am I working myself to death just so she can catch up with me?
I've...done lots of missions since Hawk left. Visited her only once, since she tried to take out my head with her bedpan. I didn't have the heart to see her after that. I did offer a little to help pay for her care, though.
The new team is working out well. We still don't talk about the past too much, but things are still working all right. Fox has only commented on my weight once - this still should worry me, shouldn't it? Why am I freaking out so much? She's not dead, she's actually getting better by the day.
Made a few suits for the Paper Dolls' Boutique now. I guess I'm making an anonymous name for myself. It's been good to visit with them every so often, too. They...keep me from feeling too terribly lonely.
...
Why can't I shake this downward spiral? Am I not keeping myself busy enough? What else can I possibly do in my day? I'm already running on minimal sleep and only cooking real meals two or three times a week, tops.
...why does everything feel so hopeless?
Neko-kun's been acting surly, too. Maybe I need to let him go outside more often. Especially when I get called on missions.
[Private]
It's been...months now. I still get to see her now and then, but if I stop and dare to think about it I just ache. And feel like a moron. She looks like she's getting healthier - she can even go on light duty, now.
...am I working myself to death just so she can catch up with me?
I've...done lots of missions since Hawk left. Visited her only once, since she tried to take out my head with her bedpan. I didn't have the heart to see her after that. I did offer a little to help pay for her care, though.
The new team is working out well. We still don't talk about the past too much, but things are still working all right. Fox has only commented on my weight once - this still should worry me, shouldn't it? Why am I freaking out so much? She's not dead, she's actually getting better by the day.
Made a few suits for the Paper Dolls' Boutique now. I guess I'm making an anonymous name for myself. It's been good to visit with them every so often, too. They...keep me from feeling too terribly lonely.
...
Why can't I shake this downward spiral? Am I not keeping myself busy enough? What else can I possibly do in my day? I'm already running on minimal sleep and only cooking real meals two or three times a week, tops.
...why does everything feel so hopeless?