Vampire Hunter D: Raiser of Gales
You know, in a way I wish I were reviewing these in the order in which I read them, not the order in which they were written. Because Vampire Hunter D really doesn't give you a good idea of the mind-bending awesomeness that is this series. It's like the pilot episode of any series ... you can't judge the rest by the pilot. If pilots were representative examples of the series that they launch, then Star Trek: Voyager would have been the greatest TV series of the 1990's.
And ... we all know that it so was not.
So, moving on to volume two.
Title: Vampire Hunter D: Raiser of Gales
Does the Title Make Any Fucking Sense? At one point, D rides his horse really fast and it whips up a pretty stiff wind that is described in the book as a "gale." So is D the eponymous "raiser of gales?" It certainly seems that way. And so this book could just as easily been called Vampire Hunter D: Vampire Hunter D
Plot: There's a girl in danger, and vampires are involved. Lots of stuff happens, and D is eventually victorious. Also: D is very pretty, and he's Dracula's son.
Overall Impression: This book reads a bit like a novel-length fanfic. If you recall, in the first book D almost got laid but was cockblocked by an angry mob. Or, maybe I should say fangblocked since it turns out that sexually aroused dhampirs go for the throat just like vampires.
Wait, I didn't mention that part, did I? Well, in the first book, D was hanging out on the couch, minding his own business, when Doris came out of her room wrapped in a towel, and then dropped the towel in order to climb all over D naked. However, an angry mob showed up and interrupted before they got to the biting and/or fucking part. This is another reason why I think that D as a character is not yet solidified in the first novel, since as far as I'm aware he never lets a girl go that far with him again.
So anyway, back to this book. The heroine of the book is Lina, a girl who runs into D by chance, latches onto him like a limpet, and declares that she is his plucky girl assistant (whaa?). D doesn't seem to know how to handle her, taken off-guard right and left by her pluckiness and girliness. Naturally she is quite beautiful, highly intelligent, mischievous, and very courageous, and she alone is able to get D to open up to her, even if only a little bit. D indulges her a great deal simply because he doesn't seem to know how to say no to her - even to the extent that he drinks the coffee she gives him, although he didn't want it and told her so (presumably because he'd rather drink blood). She also has a woeful backstory rife with suffering, and a life full of pain that she bears nobly, and when she dies a tragic death D is right there to comfort her, and mourn her after she's gone.
I really can't think of anything that would make Lina more of a Mary Sue. If you didn't know better, you might start searching the cover of the book for the name of the 16-year-old girl who obviously wrote it.
The fact that it was not a 16-year-old girl, but a 36-year-old Japanese man, who wrote this book, is what elevates it from Suefic to awesomefic.
Let's talk about D: D is less forthcoming with the filler dialogue in this book, but he still does a lot of talking at times. He is also firmly in the grip of Lina's Sue-ness by the middle of the book and never escapes.
Also, for this adventure D is put up in the barn next to his horse. Such is the life of a dhampir - you don't always get to crash on someone's couch. Ahh, tragedy!
Attempted Rapes: The Youth Brigade attempts to rape Lina. So does the Vigilance Committee. And a random bandit attempts to rape Bess Fern. She was pretty much asking for it, though. No, really.
Successful Rapes: Tajeel rapes a farmer's wife. Tajeel also has an encounter with Lina which is rape in the sense that consent was obtained through a sort of mind-control. And the mayor (who is also Lina's adopted father) rapes Lina. Cunnilingus is involved.
How Beautiful is D? We are reminded that D is beautiful a total of 61 times in 199 pages, which averages out to once per 3 pages. This equates to a D Beauty Factor of 2.5.
But wait! The number alone doesn't do justice to D's sheer fucking beauty in this book. Here are just a few of the ways in which D is described:
"stunningly beautiful"
"paraffin beauty"
"unsettlingly beautiful"
"a beauty rarely seen in this world"
"They had to wonder if such beauty could actually exist."
"a man of such beauty that it made her hair stand on end"
"so gorgeous he gave her gooseflesh"
"An exquisite face, like a silent winter night preserved for all time."
"He was the veritable image of a graceful hawk, chiseled in all its majesty in the chill air."
"his pale skin regained a luster that could rightly be called bewitching"
"he was an otherworldly entity thoroughly in keeping with that perfectly preserved beauty"
"Raven hair clung to his nigh translucent skin, and a desolate unearthliness hung over him, but still his beauty was beyond description. Surely even the most dazzling of women would pale before this youth."
"beautiful as darkness crystallized"
As you can see, D is really fucking beautiful. And don't you forget it!
Gelidity: In this book, D is gelid 3 times.
Who Wants D? Lina, all Lina's friends (girls and boys), Lukas Meyer, the mayor, and possibly the parasite in D's left hand. At one point, after waxing lyrical on the topic of D's beauty immediately after a fight, we are told that even the parasite is "rapt." Take that as you will. I'll note that D/Parasite OTP is as easy as masturbation.
How Long Does it Take For Someone to Hit on D? A pile of schoolgirls try to get him liquored up and ask him for his autograph on page 40.
Terms That Make Us Wonder What They Were in Japanese: "empyrean" (again), "cyclopean," "coagulated obsession."
Trivia Learned from This Book: D carries around capsules of dehydrated blood, that he can reconstitute in water for slurping purposes. Why doesn't he just swallow the capsules whole? I guess because popping pills is insufficiently sexy.
Biggest WTF of This Book:
"D's body flew through the air, sailing up into a space that held nothing. From the corner of his eye, he glimpsed his cyborg horse being broken back down to its constituent atoms.
"1945. It was unfortunate, to say the least, that five Avenger torpedo bombers happened to be flying over the seas around Bermuda when the sealed dimension made contact with the area."
Yes. You read that right.
Bonus WTF: "D didn't make a move. He had the air of a young poet listening to the song of the wind."
Bonus WTF #2: "The curves of her backside drove him crazy - round and firm as a succulent fruit ready to explode, as only a young lady's could be."
And that's all we have for Vampire Hunter D: Raiser of Gales! Join us next time for Vampire Hunter D: Demon Deathchase.
And ... we all know that it so was not.
So, moving on to volume two.
Title: Vampire Hunter D: Raiser of Gales
Does the Title Make Any Fucking Sense? At one point, D rides his horse really fast and it whips up a pretty stiff wind that is described in the book as a "gale." So is D the eponymous "raiser of gales?" It certainly seems that way. And so this book could just as easily been called Vampire Hunter D: Vampire Hunter D
Plot: There's a girl in danger, and vampires are involved. Lots of stuff happens, and D is eventually victorious. Also: D is very pretty, and he's Dracula's son.
Overall Impression: This book reads a bit like a novel-length fanfic. If you recall, in the first book D almost got laid but was cockblocked by an angry mob. Or, maybe I should say fangblocked since it turns out that sexually aroused dhampirs go for the throat just like vampires.
Wait, I didn't mention that part, did I? Well, in the first book, D was hanging out on the couch, minding his own business, when Doris came out of her room wrapped in a towel, and then dropped the towel in order to climb all over D naked. However, an angry mob showed up and interrupted before they got to the biting and/or fucking part. This is another reason why I think that D as a character is not yet solidified in the first novel, since as far as I'm aware he never lets a girl go that far with him again.
So anyway, back to this book. The heroine of the book is Lina, a girl who runs into D by chance, latches onto him like a limpet, and declares that she is his plucky girl assistant (whaa?). D doesn't seem to know how to handle her, taken off-guard right and left by her pluckiness and girliness. Naturally she is quite beautiful, highly intelligent, mischievous, and very courageous, and she alone is able to get D to open up to her, even if only a little bit. D indulges her a great deal simply because he doesn't seem to know how to say no to her - even to the extent that he drinks the coffee she gives him, although he didn't want it and told her so (presumably because he'd rather drink blood). She also has a woeful backstory rife with suffering, and a life full of pain that she bears nobly, and when she dies a tragic death D is right there to comfort her, and mourn her after she's gone.
I really can't think of anything that would make Lina more of a Mary Sue. If you didn't know better, you might start searching the cover of the book for the name of the 16-year-old girl who obviously wrote it.
The fact that it was not a 16-year-old girl, but a 36-year-old Japanese man, who wrote this book, is what elevates it from Suefic to awesomefic.
Let's talk about D: D is less forthcoming with the filler dialogue in this book, but he still does a lot of talking at times. He is also firmly in the grip of Lina's Sue-ness by the middle of the book and never escapes.
Also, for this adventure D is put up in the barn next to his horse. Such is the life of a dhampir - you don't always get to crash on someone's couch. Ahh, tragedy!
Attempted Rapes: The Youth Brigade attempts to rape Lina. So does the Vigilance Committee. And a random bandit attempts to rape Bess Fern. She was pretty much asking for it, though. No, really.
Successful Rapes: Tajeel rapes a farmer's wife. Tajeel also has an encounter with Lina which is rape in the sense that consent was obtained through a sort of mind-control. And the mayor (who is also Lina's adopted father) rapes Lina. Cunnilingus is involved.
How Beautiful is D? We are reminded that D is beautiful a total of 61 times in 199 pages, which averages out to once per 3 pages. This equates to a D Beauty Factor of 2.5.
But wait! The number alone doesn't do justice to D's sheer fucking beauty in this book. Here are just a few of the ways in which D is described:
"stunningly beautiful"
"paraffin beauty"
"unsettlingly beautiful"
"a beauty rarely seen in this world"
"They had to wonder if such beauty could actually exist."
"a man of such beauty that it made her hair stand on end"
"so gorgeous he gave her gooseflesh"
"An exquisite face, like a silent winter night preserved for all time."
"He was the veritable image of a graceful hawk, chiseled in all its majesty in the chill air."
"his pale skin regained a luster that could rightly be called bewitching"
"he was an otherworldly entity thoroughly in keeping with that perfectly preserved beauty"
"Raven hair clung to his nigh translucent skin, and a desolate unearthliness hung over him, but still his beauty was beyond description. Surely even the most dazzling of women would pale before this youth."
"beautiful as darkness crystallized"
As you can see, D is really fucking beautiful. And don't you forget it!
Gelidity: In this book, D is gelid 3 times.
Who Wants D? Lina, all Lina's friends (girls and boys), Lukas Meyer, the mayor, and possibly the parasite in D's left hand. At one point, after waxing lyrical on the topic of D's beauty immediately after a fight, we are told that even the parasite is "rapt." Take that as you will. I'll note that D/Parasite OTP is as easy as masturbation.
How Long Does it Take For Someone to Hit on D? A pile of schoolgirls try to get him liquored up and ask him for his autograph on page 40.
Terms That Make Us Wonder What They Were in Japanese: "empyrean" (again), "cyclopean," "coagulated obsession."
Trivia Learned from This Book: D carries around capsules of dehydrated blood, that he can reconstitute in water for slurping purposes. Why doesn't he just swallow the capsules whole? I guess because popping pills is insufficiently sexy.
Biggest WTF of This Book:
"D's body flew through the air, sailing up into a space that held nothing. From the corner of his eye, he glimpsed his cyborg horse being broken back down to its constituent atoms.
"1945. It was unfortunate, to say the least, that five Avenger torpedo bombers happened to be flying over the seas around Bermuda when the sealed dimension made contact with the area."
Yes. You read that right.
Bonus WTF: "D didn't make a move. He had the air of a young poet listening to the song of the wind."
Bonus WTF #2: "The curves of her backside drove him crazy - round and firm as a succulent fruit ready to explode, as only a young lady's could be."
And that's all we have for Vampire Hunter D: Raiser of Gales! Join us next time for Vampire Hunter D: Demon Deathchase.