(no subject)
life. It moves so fast for me, and so slow for everyone around me. There is no time. Me and her, we don't see time in the same way, because she is just one of you. I have many ideas but no time. How on earth did i get so much responsibility? Who thought this was a good idea? The Alex that i was, seems now a fading memory. Would he even like me? I am not sure I like all of him, but he would say i was a tool. I spell better then that guy. I miss my red hair. I have been replaced by someone so much more successful at getting exactly what he wants. Band, cars, money, girl. I have all that. Logically. If one left, I would replace it like a broken part. I would not worry if the machine would ever run again. I know how the machine works, and so all the mystery is gone.
I miss the mystery. Being thin, in charge and successful is tedious. I am not even a lot of any of those things. Just enough to be disgusted with all the effort used to make them happen. Yet obviously I would not have it any other way right? for if i did, I would do something different. When I was less of these things, people meant more. They were so much less... replaceable. Everything is replaceable. Some things you just hope you don't have to replace, because you are attached to them.
Data said it well,
"These are just things, and things can be replaced. Lifes however, once lost, cannot. You will rebuild and be happy again."
TNG 3xo2
Only I don't want to be Data anymore. I used to be the guy who refused to leave the planet, because it was his home. He would fight, in the face of certain defeat. He refused to see himself moving on.
I don't get pushed around as much anymore, it surprises people.
I miss the mystery. Being thin, in charge and successful is tedious. I am not even a lot of any of those things. Just enough to be disgusted with all the effort used to make them happen. Yet obviously I would not have it any other way right? for if i did, I would do something different. When I was less of these things, people meant more. They were so much less... replaceable. Everything is replaceable. Some things you just hope you don't have to replace, because you are attached to them.
Data said it well,
"These are just things, and things can be replaced. Lifes however, once lost, cannot. You will rebuild and be happy again."
TNG 3xo2
Only I don't want to be Data anymore. I used to be the guy who refused to leave the planet, because it was his home. He would fight, in the face of certain defeat. He refused to see himself moving on.
I don't get pushed around as much anymore, it surprises people.