(no subject)
I want to string together words in the ideal way, to make them sound perfect. I want them to make everything better. I want to have all of the answers. I had an awful day yesterday, one I haven't really experienced in a long time. I was getting in my car after my last class, and fucking Mitch was getting into his truck with Amy. I hate that he parks next to me, I really do. It makes it so much harder to forget him. As I'm backing out, I see Justin in his truck behind me and I just felt trapped between them. Like in a cell, even though that was ridiculous because I was in my car. It put me in a bad mood all the way home. I got home, threw my stuff on the ground, threw on my pajamas, and curled up into a ball in my bed. It sounds lame today, but yesterday, I didn't want to live anymore. I was fed up with being confused and lonely and I just lost it. I rocked in bed and fell asleep for 4 hours. I woke up, but not really. I didn't eat anything all day yesterday, I just felt gross. Amisha called me and asked if I wanted to hang out, maybe go to Sarahs party but I just couldn't. I took a hot bath and scrubbed my skin raw, and went back to bed for ten hours. fuck, i really suck sometimes.
Where is everyone when I need them?
Where is everyone when I need them?