The wrong decision, part two, VIII
Martha Jones had happily accepted John's call the day earlier, and she was now sat opposite him in her favourite restaurant. She had tried to catch up with him and his news while waiting for their order to arrive, but he seemed distracted. He was as excited as always when she told him how she had settled in the French metropolis, but she knew his thought was elsewhere.
She let her napkin on the table. "Instead of playing with your food, you could tell me what's wrong, you know."
The one time beloved eyes looked up at her startled. "So obvious, yes?"
"I know you, John. Probably better than most people in your life." They shared a smile thinking of their old adventures.
"Well... that's right. So, it's this kid. He's my student, a very good friend, and a special performer; the best pianist I've ever listened to."
"That’s a compliment, if I ever heard one. He must be something special. I've never seen you talking like that about a person, except of course for yourself." The twinkle in her eyes meant it was a joke, but John knew the statement wasn't far off reality.
"I love the boy. I don't know how it happened, I see myself in him so much. He's hurting and I don't know why. He deserves to be happy."
Martha was surprised to listen to him talking like that about one of his students. "You sound like you're in love...."
"Oh I am. Just not with Ianto, if that's what you're saying. I'm in love with his music, his passion when he performs, with his strength to let the past in the past. Also, with Donna, but that's irrelevant. No, I love Ianto as a brother, or a son..."
"Who's Donna?" She asked, the old jealousy fluttering alive in her belly.
"Focus, Martha. We are not here to discuss about my love life, but about Ianto Jones."
She had the grace to seem embarrassed even though John knew she wasn't. "Why does the name sound familiar?"
"Because Jack Harkness married his brother. Were you at the wedding? Ianto is Werth's twin brother."
"Twin? Well, if that's the case, I wouldn't blame you if you were in love with him!"
"Yes, pretty boys aren't they? Not my type really, too young and innocent. More like Jack's. Clearly...!"
Martha laughed remembering how Jack and they had gone touring all around Europe in their youth. "Everyone’s Jack’s type, John! Or… that’s how it used to be. Now he’s a married man. I miss those days..."
He leaned towards her and took both her hands in his. "Time does that. But, I really need your help, Dr. Jones." He looked up and let her hands as a shadow was cast over her. She looked up and found Ianto Jones looking at them.
"Hello John. Am I late?" Ianto asked looking at his friend. "Am I interrupting anything?"
"No, take a seat. I want you to meet a good friend of mine. Martha Jones, this is Ianto Jones. Ianto, this is Martha."
*
Ianto shut the door behind them with a loud bang. If John’s was honest with himself, the meeting hadn’t gone all that well and he was partly to blame.
“I cannot believe you set me up to meet with a therapist. Or that you were talking with her about me!”
“Martha is a great doctor, Ianto, and you’re…”
“Is that why you asked me to come find you in the restaurant? You had everything planned, hadn’t you? Only, you were too busy flirting with her to see me standing there.”
“I wasn’t flirting with Martha! And no, you’re not changing the subject here.” John grabbed Ianto by the shoulders after he had taken off his jacket.
“Listen to me,” he said staring at his friend. “I hear you play the piano at all hours of the day, and night. I see dark circles around your eyes, you don’t eat well, you get angry for no reason, you forget to pay the bills… shall I continue?”
“I said I was sorry.”
“That is not the point, Ianto.” It was one thing to not eat, but forgetting to pay the electricity was unforgivable for Ianto. John pulled him in a tight hug, for the first time not knowing what to say to him. “I’ve seen you drinking in the evenings. You never drink, or you never used to, at least.” Ianto tried to push him away, but John held him still, relaxing his arms but making it difficult for the young man to untangle himself from the embrace. “Look at me Ianto. I spoke to Owen, he’s worried as well. He told me if this continues he’ll fly over. It’s either talking to Martha, or waiting for Owen to come here.”
“That’s blackmail,” Ianto whispered defeated, circling his arms around John’s back.
“You need help, and I can’t give it to you.”
“OK, I’ll see Martha. Tell Owen not to come.”
“I will, but maybe you should talk to him as well.”
“Oh God…”
“Yes! I’ll call Martha to set an appointment.” John said with a smile Ianto couldn’t see.
*
Owen stood alone, a glass of whiskey on his hand, letting the music calm him while watching the guests strolling around, talking to each other and having a good time. He certainly didn’t have a good time and cursed Jack who had convinced him to come to this party, when his thoughts were interrupted by the man himself.
“You are a party animal, Dr. Harper.”
“Some of us do outgrow that phase, Harkness.”
“You are too young to mop around in my house, Owen. Where’s Toshiko?”
“London. She couldn’t come over for the party. Work to be done and all that jazz.”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“I saw Phillip earlier, he’s getting bigger and bigger. He’s a very pretty young boy.”
Jack smiled thinking of his son. “If he catches your finger, he never let goes. He’s happy, he smiles all the time these days…”
Owen closed his eyes. At least, Phillip was happy. Jack noticed his friend’s discomfort. “Come, let’s go out to get some fresh air.” He led Owen through a back door out in the garden and had him sat in a bench before settling next to him.
“Shouldn’t you entertain your guests?”
“Werth is more than capable of holding his own for a while.”
They sat in silence for a while, feeling the night’s breeze. “It will start raining soon,” Owen interrupted the silence.
“I’m surprised it lasted this long.” Jack thought back to when he saw Owen standing morose by the fireplace. “Do you have any financial problems?”
“What? No! How… what… I sometimes fail to follow your train of thought, Harkness. I just started working in one of London’s most prestigious hospitals. No, I have no financial problems. But… I worry about Ianto.”
Jack’s felt his stomach clench at Ianto’s name. “What’s wrong? Is he ill?”
“Not ill per se, no. But John says he’s depressed. And he didn’t want to see a doctor until John said I was going over to see him.”
“But, Ianto loves you like a brother. Why wouldn’t he want you?”
“Exactly, Jack. If Ianto doesn’t want to see me then things are bad.” And Owen couldn’t understand the reason behind the situation. Ianto was following his dreams, making them reality. What could have made him depressed? “John says he doesn’t eat, that he drinks. Ianto doesn’t drink.”
Jack could imagine Ianto losing weight, blank stare looking back at him, accusing. “Maybe he’s in love.”
Owen’s expression was unreadable. “From what I could tell from John, Ianto has no real social life. He just plays his damned piano!” He suddenly stood from the bench and started pacing in front of Jack. “And let’s get real,” He sneered at his host. “We cannot exactly tell him to cove over to see his brother, can we?”
“Come now, Owen, you know Werth wants the best for Ianto.”
Owen’s look was sceptical. “Tell Werth I said goodnight. I’ll go to bed now.”
Jack was left there all alone to consider what Owen had told him. Going back to his party was not an option any longer. Instead he slowly went inside and climbed the stairs to Phillip's room. His,- Ianto's', he corrected himself - baby was sleeping peacefully in his cradle. Jack had spent many hours sitting in the same place looking down at Phillip. both out of love for the small creature who had entered his life as a gift and examining his face to find similarities with his father. There were many to remind him who had fathered his child.
He stood and walked to the window. How many times had Ianto stood in the same window watching out? He had to abandon his thoughts because his husband was calling out to him.
*
"I had Werth and Owen by my side always. I remember being at the hospital for weeks with no piano and no music. Father couldn't come all the time, Werth was at school and so was Owen. Being alone and thinking you'll die soon, having done nothing in your life is the worst I have ever felt…. John says I play the piano late at night. It's that feeling that comes back and I have to get up from bed and do something or else I'll go mad." Ianto's eyes looked at Martha defiantly. "I have been feeling well for years, and now...now there’s just an abyss all around me and I have to tiptoe around it in case I fall in."
Martha had stopped keeping notes; she kept staring at the young man sitting in front of her, letting his baritone voice lull her in his memories, inviting her to get to know the lonely soul who wanted to play music and be loved. They had talked about Lisa first and then about Ianto's childhood and early teenage years.
"Why don't you go home for a while? See your brother and Owen?"
"Werth's married, has a kid, a family now... I can't rely only on him."
"I'm sure he'd love to have you there."
"I wouldn't love to be there though."
"Why, Ianto?"
"I don't know," he said to her and glanced at his watch. "Sorry, Martha, I have to go. I have rehearsal at 13.30. Thanks for your time." Leaving the room in a hurry, he didn't listen to her reply.
His rehearsal was about an hour later than he had said to Martha, but he wanted to walk to the conservatoire thinking of his discussion with her. He had lied to her. He so wanted to go home see Werth and his nephew, Owen and... Jack. He longed to see Jack. And that's why he couldn't go to Wales. Not now, not for a long time to come. If he refused temptation he'd soon be fine.
And he had a performance to get ready for.
tbc (if all goes well, by the end of this week)
A/N: 1. I want to have the story finished before its three year anniversary.
2. Did I mention this is going to be the hottest week of the summer? I need to move to Siberia.
Next chapter: Ianto's life changing performance and when Ianto doesn't go to temptation, ah well... temptation decides to pay a visit to him. All for his performance’ sake of course.
She let her napkin on the table. "Instead of playing with your food, you could tell me what's wrong, you know."
The one time beloved eyes looked up at her startled. "So obvious, yes?"
"I know you, John. Probably better than most people in your life." They shared a smile thinking of their old adventures.
"Well... that's right. So, it's this kid. He's my student, a very good friend, and a special performer; the best pianist I've ever listened to."
"That’s a compliment, if I ever heard one. He must be something special. I've never seen you talking like that about a person, except of course for yourself." The twinkle in her eyes meant it was a joke, but John knew the statement wasn't far off reality.
"I love the boy. I don't know how it happened, I see myself in him so much. He's hurting and I don't know why. He deserves to be happy."
Martha was surprised to listen to him talking like that about one of his students. "You sound like you're in love...."
"Oh I am. Just not with Ianto, if that's what you're saying. I'm in love with his music, his passion when he performs, with his strength to let the past in the past. Also, with Donna, but that's irrelevant. No, I love Ianto as a brother, or a son..."
"Who's Donna?" She asked, the old jealousy fluttering alive in her belly.
"Focus, Martha. We are not here to discuss about my love life, but about Ianto Jones."
She had the grace to seem embarrassed even though John knew she wasn't. "Why does the name sound familiar?"
"Because Jack Harkness married his brother. Were you at the wedding? Ianto is Werth's twin brother."
"Twin? Well, if that's the case, I wouldn't blame you if you were in love with him!"
"Yes, pretty boys aren't they? Not my type really, too young and innocent. More like Jack's. Clearly...!"
Martha laughed remembering how Jack and they had gone touring all around Europe in their youth. "Everyone’s Jack’s type, John! Or… that’s how it used to be. Now he’s a married man. I miss those days..."
He leaned towards her and took both her hands in his. "Time does that. But, I really need your help, Dr. Jones." He looked up and let her hands as a shadow was cast over her. She looked up and found Ianto Jones looking at them.
"Hello John. Am I late?" Ianto asked looking at his friend. "Am I interrupting anything?"
"No, take a seat. I want you to meet a good friend of mine. Martha Jones, this is Ianto Jones. Ianto, this is Martha."
*
Ianto shut the door behind them with a loud bang. If John’s was honest with himself, the meeting hadn’t gone all that well and he was partly to blame.
“I cannot believe you set me up to meet with a therapist. Or that you were talking with her about me!”
“Martha is a great doctor, Ianto, and you’re…”
“Is that why you asked me to come find you in the restaurant? You had everything planned, hadn’t you? Only, you were too busy flirting with her to see me standing there.”
“I wasn’t flirting with Martha! And no, you’re not changing the subject here.” John grabbed Ianto by the shoulders after he had taken off his jacket.
“Listen to me,” he said staring at his friend. “I hear you play the piano at all hours of the day, and night. I see dark circles around your eyes, you don’t eat well, you get angry for no reason, you forget to pay the bills… shall I continue?”
“I said I was sorry.”
“That is not the point, Ianto.” It was one thing to not eat, but forgetting to pay the electricity was unforgivable for Ianto. John pulled him in a tight hug, for the first time not knowing what to say to him. “I’ve seen you drinking in the evenings. You never drink, or you never used to, at least.” Ianto tried to push him away, but John held him still, relaxing his arms but making it difficult for the young man to untangle himself from the embrace. “Look at me Ianto. I spoke to Owen, he’s worried as well. He told me if this continues he’ll fly over. It’s either talking to Martha, or waiting for Owen to come here.”
“That’s blackmail,” Ianto whispered defeated, circling his arms around John’s back.
“You need help, and I can’t give it to you.”
“OK, I’ll see Martha. Tell Owen not to come.”
“I will, but maybe you should talk to him as well.”
“Oh God…”
“Yes! I’ll call Martha to set an appointment.” John said with a smile Ianto couldn’t see.
*
Owen stood alone, a glass of whiskey on his hand, letting the music calm him while watching the guests strolling around, talking to each other and having a good time. He certainly didn’t have a good time and cursed Jack who had convinced him to come to this party, when his thoughts were interrupted by the man himself.
“You are a party animal, Dr. Harper.”
“Some of us do outgrow that phase, Harkness.”
“You are too young to mop around in my house, Owen. Where’s Toshiko?”
“London. She couldn’t come over for the party. Work to be done and all that jazz.”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“I saw Phillip earlier, he’s getting bigger and bigger. He’s a very pretty young boy.”
Jack smiled thinking of his son. “If he catches your finger, he never let goes. He’s happy, he smiles all the time these days…”
Owen closed his eyes. At least, Phillip was happy. Jack noticed his friend’s discomfort. “Come, let’s go out to get some fresh air.” He led Owen through a back door out in the garden and had him sat in a bench before settling next to him.
“Shouldn’t you entertain your guests?”
“Werth is more than capable of holding his own for a while.”
They sat in silence for a while, feeling the night’s breeze. “It will start raining soon,” Owen interrupted the silence.
“I’m surprised it lasted this long.” Jack thought back to when he saw Owen standing morose by the fireplace. “Do you have any financial problems?”
“What? No! How… what… I sometimes fail to follow your train of thought, Harkness. I just started working in one of London’s most prestigious hospitals. No, I have no financial problems. But… I worry about Ianto.”
Jack’s felt his stomach clench at Ianto’s name. “What’s wrong? Is he ill?”
“Not ill per se, no. But John says he’s depressed. And he didn’t want to see a doctor until John said I was going over to see him.”
“But, Ianto loves you like a brother. Why wouldn’t he want you?”
“Exactly, Jack. If Ianto doesn’t want to see me then things are bad.” And Owen couldn’t understand the reason behind the situation. Ianto was following his dreams, making them reality. What could have made him depressed? “John says he doesn’t eat, that he drinks. Ianto doesn’t drink.”
Jack could imagine Ianto losing weight, blank stare looking back at him, accusing. “Maybe he’s in love.”
Owen’s expression was unreadable. “From what I could tell from John, Ianto has no real social life. He just plays his damned piano!” He suddenly stood from the bench and started pacing in front of Jack. “And let’s get real,” He sneered at his host. “We cannot exactly tell him to cove over to see his brother, can we?”
“Come now, Owen, you know Werth wants the best for Ianto.”
Owen’s look was sceptical. “Tell Werth I said goodnight. I’ll go to bed now.”
Jack was left there all alone to consider what Owen had told him. Going back to his party was not an option any longer. Instead he slowly went inside and climbed the stairs to Phillip's room. His,- Ianto's', he corrected himself - baby was sleeping peacefully in his cradle. Jack had spent many hours sitting in the same place looking down at Phillip. both out of love for the small creature who had entered his life as a gift and examining his face to find similarities with his father. There were many to remind him who had fathered his child.
He stood and walked to the window. How many times had Ianto stood in the same window watching out? He had to abandon his thoughts because his husband was calling out to him.
*
"I had Werth and Owen by my side always. I remember being at the hospital for weeks with no piano and no music. Father couldn't come all the time, Werth was at school and so was Owen. Being alone and thinking you'll die soon, having done nothing in your life is the worst I have ever felt…. John says I play the piano late at night. It's that feeling that comes back and I have to get up from bed and do something or else I'll go mad." Ianto's eyes looked at Martha defiantly. "I have been feeling well for years, and now...now there’s just an abyss all around me and I have to tiptoe around it in case I fall in."
Martha had stopped keeping notes; she kept staring at the young man sitting in front of her, letting his baritone voice lull her in his memories, inviting her to get to know the lonely soul who wanted to play music and be loved. They had talked about Lisa first and then about Ianto's childhood and early teenage years.
"Why don't you go home for a while? See your brother and Owen?"
"Werth's married, has a kid, a family now... I can't rely only on him."
"I'm sure he'd love to have you there."
"I wouldn't love to be there though."
"Why, Ianto?"
"I don't know," he said to her and glanced at his watch. "Sorry, Martha, I have to go. I have rehearsal at 13.30. Thanks for your time." Leaving the room in a hurry, he didn't listen to her reply.
His rehearsal was about an hour later than he had said to Martha, but he wanted to walk to the conservatoire thinking of his discussion with her. He had lied to her. He so wanted to go home see Werth and his nephew, Owen and... Jack. He longed to see Jack. And that's why he couldn't go to Wales. Not now, not for a long time to come. If he refused temptation he'd soon be fine.
And he had a performance to get ready for.
tbc (if all goes well, by the end of this week)
A/N: 1. I want to have the story finished before its three year anniversary.
2. Did I mention this is going to be the hottest week of the summer? I need to move to Siberia.
Next chapter: Ianto's life changing performance and when Ianto doesn't go to temptation, ah well... temptation decides to pay a visit to him. All for his performance’ sake of course.