quandary
quan⋅da⋅ry
/ˈkwɒndəri, -dri/ [kwon-duh-ree, -dree] -noun, plural -ries.
a state of perplexity or uncertainty, esp. as to what to do; dilemma.
Why, yes, I do feel in a state of perplexity or uncertainty, thanks for asking!
Yes, I feel alone in it also; no one else is here.
(Of course, in my moderate wisdom (not immense by any means!), I know that I am NOT the only one here, I share this space with the entire world. It's getting crowded even!)
I wonder, why is it that I have all these things bothering me; that, in itself, is a problem, and I wonder why it is that it is. Most think I live a charmed life (including my husband). They ask me why I fight it, I should just be happy... "Ha!" I say. And, then I wonder why I can't just go to one person to talk about all of it at once? Why I have to talk to like 6 different people about 6 different things? I don't want to have to do that, since by talking to 6 different people, I can't get involved in a meaningful conversation, because I only have a limited amount of time to spend talking (which also seems to be getting smaller). Even if I just spend an hour on the phone with each person, that's 6 hours, I don't have 6 hours a day to talk to people, I really have far less than that... Hmmmm.... what to do, what to do... I think I am again trying to apply a logical solution to a very organic problem. I hope no one thinks that I am trying to place a tangible value on something as intangible as a friendship, but maybe that is what I'm doing. So, you see my dilemma...
Let's also talk about the fact that my dear husband (yes I said dear) seems to think that he should be the only one I talk to about anything that is bothering me. But, when I do go to him, he is annoyed with the first syllable I utter? This is yet another quandary. If you can't cook, why would you ask to make dinner? (figuratively speaking, my husband can cook) If you can't sell furniture, why ask to be a furniture salesperson? If you can't do what you are asking, why ask? I suppose that if you want to learn something new, that is one thing. But, if you are not interested in learning, don't ask! Is it just me, or doesn't this seem to make perfect sense? Obviously not as perfect as I once thought, as I seem to be the only one I know that it makes sense to...
And, why, oh WHY, say that you have no problems with your significant other talking to her friends for many hours a day (see first paragraph), if you are not jealous of that fact that she is spending a lot of time 'with' them, and not with you? Why not just SAY so, instead of brooding or pouting about it? Then, when she asks you what is wrong, why do you deny it? In all honesty, I pretty much am what I am. You can tell when I'm happy or not happy, I don't like to keep secrets, I like open communication, and when I'm pissed at you, I'll let you know. Why should so many people be so secretive? Don't you think life would be easier if we were all less secretive?
Of course, this goes to the heart of the problem with any human on the planet, when we ask the question "Why can't others be more like us?" or "Why are others not like me?" or even, "Why would that person do THAT? I would NEVER do that!" Does this also make you wonder if maybe, 'those of us' who are like other 'those of us' should all be clumped together? You know what I mean? I think you do, and I bet you have thought this before. Whenever you think the above the questions, you are thinking it. I mean when you hit it off immediately with other people, and you just know they think like you. Should those people stick together, and not mingle with those that don't think alike? Maybe that would make life easier, but it may also make life less interesting, less fulfilling, and also much less inventive and productive (yep, I said productive!) If those with like minds did not mingle with others that did not have like minds, would we have gotten as far as we have as a whole, the human race? Maybe by leading difficult lives, by trying to understand and gain wisdom from those that don't think like us, we gain more for the human race and for ourselves.
Can we lead difficult lives and still be fulfilled and happy? Or are less difficult lives more conducive to happiness, and we should all be segregated and not mingling with those that are more difficult to understand?
I think that this is a big problem with the idea of marriage today, and so many want it easy, and they don't want to have to work at it. They don't think that love should be this hard, but hey, it is. Can you just get over it, and get on with living?? Isn't everything else in life that is worth the effort difficult? Did I miss something in my early learning that said otherwise? Why should marriage be any different?
Think about it...
/ˈkwɒndəri, -dri/ [kwon-duh-ree, -dree] -noun, plural -ries.
a state of perplexity or uncertainty, esp. as to what to do; dilemma.
Why, yes, I do feel in a state of perplexity or uncertainty, thanks for asking!
Yes, I feel alone in it also; no one else is here.
(Of course, in my moderate wisdom (not immense by any means!), I know that I am NOT the only one here, I share this space with the entire world. It's getting crowded even!)
I wonder, why is it that I have all these things bothering me; that, in itself, is a problem, and I wonder why it is that it is. Most think I live a charmed life (including my husband). They ask me why I fight it, I should just be happy... "Ha!" I say. And, then I wonder why I can't just go to one person to talk about all of it at once? Why I have to talk to like 6 different people about 6 different things? I don't want to have to do that, since by talking to 6 different people, I can't get involved in a meaningful conversation, because I only have a limited amount of time to spend talking (which also seems to be getting smaller). Even if I just spend an hour on the phone with each person, that's 6 hours, I don't have 6 hours a day to talk to people, I really have far less than that... Hmmmm.... what to do, what to do... I think I am again trying to apply a logical solution to a very organic problem. I hope no one thinks that I am trying to place a tangible value on something as intangible as a friendship, but maybe that is what I'm doing. So, you see my dilemma...
Let's also talk about the fact that my dear husband (yes I said dear) seems to think that he should be the only one I talk to about anything that is bothering me. But, when I do go to him, he is annoyed with the first syllable I utter? This is yet another quandary. If you can't cook, why would you ask to make dinner? (figuratively speaking, my husband can cook) If you can't sell furniture, why ask to be a furniture salesperson? If you can't do what you are asking, why ask? I suppose that if you want to learn something new, that is one thing. But, if you are not interested in learning, don't ask! Is it just me, or doesn't this seem to make perfect sense? Obviously not as perfect as I once thought, as I seem to be the only one I know that it makes sense to...
And, why, oh WHY, say that you have no problems with your significant other talking to her friends for many hours a day (see first paragraph), if you are not jealous of that fact that she is spending a lot of time 'with' them, and not with you? Why not just SAY so, instead of brooding or pouting about it? Then, when she asks you what is wrong, why do you deny it? In all honesty, I pretty much am what I am. You can tell when I'm happy or not happy, I don't like to keep secrets, I like open communication, and when I'm pissed at you, I'll let you know. Why should so many people be so secretive? Don't you think life would be easier if we were all less secretive?
Of course, this goes to the heart of the problem with any human on the planet, when we ask the question "Why can't others be more like us?" or "Why are others not like me?" or even, "Why would that person do THAT? I would NEVER do that!" Does this also make you wonder if maybe, 'those of us' who are like other 'those of us' should all be clumped together? You know what I mean? I think you do, and I bet you have thought this before. Whenever you think the above the questions, you are thinking it. I mean when you hit it off immediately with other people, and you just know they think like you. Should those people stick together, and not mingle with those that don't think alike? Maybe that would make life easier, but it may also make life less interesting, less fulfilling, and also much less inventive and productive (yep, I said productive!) If those with like minds did not mingle with others that did not have like minds, would we have gotten as far as we have as a whole, the human race? Maybe by leading difficult lives, by trying to understand and gain wisdom from those that don't think like us, we gain more for the human race and for ourselves.
Can we lead difficult lives and still be fulfilled and happy? Or are less difficult lives more conducive to happiness, and we should all be segregated and not mingling with those that are more difficult to understand?
I think that this is a big problem with the idea of marriage today, and so many want it easy, and they don't want to have to work at it. They don't think that love should be this hard, but hey, it is. Can you just get over it, and get on with living?? Isn't everything else in life that is worth the effort difficult? Did I miss something in my early learning that said otherwise? Why should marriage be any different?
Think about it...