This is exactly what I need.....
So I haven't had a chance to write in 2 weeks or so. My internet is fucked up with spyware. So you guys know what that means, you're right too. No e-mails, No myspace, No nothing.
I wish I had the time right now to just write some poetry or lyrics or something, but I don't.
It's 5 am and I feel as if I am not yet rested. There is much on my mind and I am leaving in 2 hours to the Airport. I sign on my computer and write down some random thoughts. I hit the rack again and try to catch another hour of sleep. I lay there for 45 minutes staring at the clock flashing on my nightstand.
It's 6 am and I'm out of bed and dressing, getting ready for my time to deport.
I get to the Airport at 7:45am i make my way through all the hassel without having to check in any bags. I say goodbye to my mother at the Metal Detector check-in.
I walk down the hallway with the C-gates lined up by evens and odds on both sides.
I walk in to a side smoking room I but a newspaper take a look at it and toss it on an empty to chair to leave there.
I light a cigarette savoring that first inhalation of the death creeping down my lungs; and that's how I think of it right now.
I stare around I see men and women in the Navy walking down towards the shuttle, Marines following them in their dress blues, which I found akward as to why they were wearing.
I kill my cigarette and walk back down the hallway. I board my plane at 8:45 am to sit and wait til we take off.
We take off and my day seems to fade away as i feel the turbulence and begin to feel as if gravity is pulling me. Airplanes never had this effect on me before, yet do now.
I begin to fade into sleep leaning against my window. I wake several times and change sleeping positions. A lady behind me keeps knocking my seat with her head as she falls forward with her head into sleep. The clouds and view outside become my simple distraction and I sit there and view it.
The plane finally lands thirty minutes early, i can't help but wish that on my return we arrive early. I grab my bag over-head and walk down the slim airplane aisle way.
i finally make it out to the main airport hallway and breach through the glass doors to see that my father isn't there.
It takes me walking from backage claim to Arrivals back to the glass doors until i finally find my father. We drive home and it feels as if I was only here yesterday.
I try not to think about it. "I'm happy I'm back again."
But I'm happier that I'm only visiting as much as I love my family and friends here, this place makes me sick. Thinking about everything that happened on all the roads that i now walk alone with my dog. I thank whatever it is up there that i had the Choice to elave this place. i hate feelign this way about a place i once called home. but i don't think this place was ever my home. i still yet to think i have found my home. I'm a single nomad. And sure i'll basically always have a residence, but no place to ever call my home. Maybe one day ......
I wish I had the time right now to just write some poetry or lyrics or something, but I don't.
It's 5 am and I feel as if I am not yet rested. There is much on my mind and I am leaving in 2 hours to the Airport. I sign on my computer and write down some random thoughts. I hit the rack again and try to catch another hour of sleep. I lay there for 45 minutes staring at the clock flashing on my nightstand.
It's 6 am and I'm out of bed and dressing, getting ready for my time to deport.
I get to the Airport at 7:45am i make my way through all the hassel without having to check in any bags. I say goodbye to my mother at the Metal Detector check-in.
I walk down the hallway with the C-gates lined up by evens and odds on both sides.
I walk in to a side smoking room I but a newspaper take a look at it and toss it on an empty to chair to leave there.
I light a cigarette savoring that first inhalation of the death creeping down my lungs; and that's how I think of it right now.
I stare around I see men and women in the Navy walking down towards the shuttle, Marines following them in their dress blues, which I found akward as to why they were wearing.
I kill my cigarette and walk back down the hallway. I board my plane at 8:45 am to sit and wait til we take off.
We take off and my day seems to fade away as i feel the turbulence and begin to feel as if gravity is pulling me. Airplanes never had this effect on me before, yet do now.
I begin to fade into sleep leaning against my window. I wake several times and change sleeping positions. A lady behind me keeps knocking my seat with her head as she falls forward with her head into sleep. The clouds and view outside become my simple distraction and I sit there and view it.
The plane finally lands thirty minutes early, i can't help but wish that on my return we arrive early. I grab my bag over-head and walk down the slim airplane aisle way.
i finally make it out to the main airport hallway and breach through the glass doors to see that my father isn't there.
It takes me walking from backage claim to Arrivals back to the glass doors until i finally find my father. We drive home and it feels as if I was only here yesterday.
I try not to think about it. "I'm happy I'm back again."
But I'm happier that I'm only visiting as much as I love my family and friends here, this place makes me sick. Thinking about everything that happened on all the roads that i now walk alone with my dog. I thank whatever it is up there that i had the Choice to elave this place. i hate feelign this way about a place i once called home. but i don't think this place was ever my home. i still yet to think i have found my home. I'm a single nomad. And sure i'll basically always have a residence, but no place to ever call my home. Maybe one day ......