wheres the xanex
im moving all my shit this weekend. as of this weekend my life as i know it will be completely different. moving away from imbritneyspears has got to be the most anxiety ridden decision i've made since i moved to oklahoma. i know it's probably the right choice. she's growing up, i'm not. she needs a clean quiet house. i'm not clean or quiet. plus we both could use our own rooms. i don't know if i will be getting one but i hope when we move to a house in june i can find my own little space to pout and cry in. the unknown future is so scary to me. i woke up this morning in terror i didn't know what time i had work, i didn't know what day it was. i didn't know if i had parked on the street or if it was street sweeping day. i felt i had slept for 4 days and missed all the important things i'm supposed to be doing like working, moving, being responsible. panic and anxiety has been the theme of this month, not to be overshadowed by my usual extreme depression and regret for things i can't change.
on a lighter note i'm finally buying the digital camera i've wanted for 2 years. its an older model, only a 3 megapixel but it's what i can afford and i love it. i realized also that i'll be all moved in by the 1st. so that gives me a whole week to get ready for the art show. i'm thinkin i'm just going to start harassing all the people that said they'd put stuff up and start mounting stuff on the walls on the nights after work. then i'll work the early shift on saturday so i have enough time to get ready. the only thing is nobody has made flyers and i don't know if i have enough time. or the ability, how does one make flyers without a computer i just realized, i don't know. i'll have to brainstorm with my brother. aaaaaaggggg i'm getting myself all stressed out again. okay breathe, back to the good things. i have a super hot outfit to wear and maureen said she'd make her vegan bruscetta. i figure i'll just buy a box or 2 of shaw and cups. i hope i can afford everything i want to do.
i have to go to work. i have to stop stressing out.
on a lighter note i'm finally buying the digital camera i've wanted for 2 years. its an older model, only a 3 megapixel but it's what i can afford and i love it. i realized also that i'll be all moved in by the 1st. so that gives me a whole week to get ready for the art show. i'm thinkin i'm just going to start harassing all the people that said they'd put stuff up and start mounting stuff on the walls on the nights after work. then i'll work the early shift on saturday so i have enough time to get ready. the only thing is nobody has made flyers and i don't know if i have enough time. or the ability, how does one make flyers without a computer i just realized, i don't know. i'll have to brainstorm with my brother. aaaaaaggggg i'm getting myself all stressed out again. okay breathe, back to the good things. i have a super hot outfit to wear and maureen said she'd make her vegan bruscetta. i figure i'll just buy a box or 2 of shaw and cups. i hope i can afford everything i want to do.
i have to go to work. i have to stop stressing out.