[Fan Fiction] Pieces of You [Alice Nine, Saga/Shou] [Chapter 1]
Title- Pieces of You
Author- Anarchy (Moi)
Beta- Aisha of Sealand
Genre- AU, Angst, Highschool
Rating- PG, will go up to NC-17 later
Chapter- 1/??
Pairing: Saga/Shou (one-sided) more to come later
Warnings- Obsessive love, stalking, minor emotional WHUMPAGE, (there’s more, but it spoils the plot)
Summary- Saga was an intelligent and promising individual, but failing grades caused by laziness forced him out of his private school. Now lost in the world of a normal public high school, he meets Shou, a popular and endearing individual. Saga's feelings for him rage out of control and his life unravels from there, fueled by a dangerous unrequited loved and a painful loss.
Disclaimer- I was personally asked by Saga to write this. This is a story with real life characters and a made-up plot.
I was awake, dressed and ready to go several minutes before my alarm clock began to howl. Nerves had kept me awake the night before, twisting my stomach and mind. I was facing the day ahead with despair and utter fear. I know life is much different at a public school. My classmates will be more rebellious, and less well-to-do. I suppose there would be a lot more fights, too? But I couldn’t let myself get too nervous; I definitely have to make a good first impression.
I paced my room, impatient, nervous and filled with foreboding. I considered getting breakfast, but I doubted my stomach would be too happy with that. Instead I sat on the edge of my bed, staring out the window and thinking of nothing in particular. The sky was clear blue and devoid of clouds. It was probably extremely hot outside as well. My new uniform already felt stifling and warm, even in the AC. I ran my hands over my school bag; a visual rock magazine was tucked between the books.
When my alarm clock declared 7:10, I left my house. The journey would probably last about a half hour by bus, so at least I wasn’t concerned about being late. No one else at my bus stop shared my uniform. The others looked at me cautiously, furthering my anxiety about my new school. I wished they wouldn’t look at me like that, my self-esteem is low enough. All I want is to be a musician. I was never an over-achiever, which ensured my ass being expelled from the private school I had been placed in. I was bright, yeah, but I never felt that I belonged amongst Japan ’s future lawyers and doctors. At least I had been able to make a couple friends to keep me sane.
The group of girls giggled behind me, comparing keychains and a business man sniffed in annoyance from behind his newspaper. The newspaper's headline was about some creepy suicide shit. I immediately looked away. Being depressed was not an option today. I couldn’t imagine being so distraught that I’d take my own life. Personally, I’d definitely never want to feel that way. But I suppose you take what life throws at you.
The bus journey was tolerable. Everyone was so noisy and obnoxious, but I had my magazine and could thankfully ignore them. My hand would always trace the glossy faces of the people I admired, a distant part of me hoping their talent would rub off on me. That, and I secretly found them very attractive. Tora was the only one who knew I felt that way.. He’s quite a good friend for keeping that secret for me. I would miss him at my new school. I’d admitted to him more than once that I’d like to “get a piece of” more than one of the guys in here. They were beautiful though, so you can’t blame me…
When the bus finally got to my stop, the giggling girls and business man were already gone. I exited without difficulty into the crowded school yard. Nobody turned to look at me as I crossed the yard to wait near the front doors. I could deal with being invisible… for now at least. Clusters marked out cliques of friends; the bigger the cluster, the more popular. I couldn’t even see into the center of one group of girls. They seemed to be all laughing together. It was a bit disgusting to me, how much like clones they were. At least individuals had existed at my old school.
The bell sounded, and I was one of the first ones inside. I had been to this school once before to see the interior and pick out my lockers. I made my way to my shoe locker, turning my street shoes in for the school’s pair of sandals. They fit a bit loosely, but that didn’t really matter to me. Nerves were eating holes through my stomach and attacking my heart. Finding my way to my classroom was suspenseful; each step I took was slow and methodical. When I finally reached B-3, I was the last to arrive. All eyes snapped to me immediately while I examined the floor. Girls broke out into whispers, shamelessly commenting on my looks. At least they liked me. Too bad I would never like them back. I smirked lightly at this thought. The first teacher of the day looked up as well. She stood, inspecting me with a sharp gaze. “You must be Sakamoto-san.” She stated.
“Yeah- Yes sensei.” I replied, bowing slightly.
“Everyone, this is Sakamoto Saga. He has transferred to this school. Please introduce yourself, Sakamoto-san.”
I stood in the middle of the room. Most eyes were on me, except for one blond boy in the second row.. He was talking to a very attractive boy next to him and I couldn’t clearly see his face.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you.” I stared, bowing to the class. “I got expelled. I play bass guitar. I don’t really expect to become friends with any of you.” I smirked. That’s all I needed to say to make the impression I wanted. I was being truthful, but these statements perfectly hid the fact that my heart was beating nervously and hands shaking behind my back. As I expected, the female members of my class were now trying to catch my eye. Girls are so predictable.
“Alright then, your seat is right in front of Kohara-san, who is very rude for not paying attention to your…enlightening introduction.”
This caused the blond to turn around to face the teacher, and I had to basically bite my tongue in half to keep myself from gasping aloud. He was beautiful-- no, more than beautiful. He was ethereal, enchanting. He would have outshone any musician in my magazines. His most striking feature was his eyes-- wide, carefree and naïve but they were intense and deep at the same time. There wasn’t a flaw to be found in his facial features. The way his feathery blond hair fell around his face brought out his looks even more. The way his uniform fitted to him was perfect as well--everyone else looked awkward in it. He spoke and I was entranced even further.
“Oh no, I was listening. Sakamoto-san is a rebel. I was just telling Hiroto-kun about my weekend. He was away and I couldn’t call him either.”
The teacher nodded and didn’t object further. She probably wouldn’t even dare. I wouldn’t have. Kohara-san shot me a small smile and I felt my bones nearly melt. I sat down quickly without even acknowledging him. I couldn’t. He deserved only to hear the most complimenting words, and I could not risk unraveling my first impression. I needed to know his first name…so I could whisper it over and over when I was back in the sanctuary of my room. But the school day was just beginning. I knew I had to pay attention, or face expulsion again.
It was easy to pay attention once I convinced myself that Kohara-san was just an illusion and not the perfect creature I had witnessed earlier. First subject of the day was math. It was unbelievably easy, I had done it all before. Math wasn’t even my best subject. Next came history, which again, it was easy. I was feeling confident by now that I’d receive top marks for the rest of the year.. That certainly clashed with my appearance as a rebel, but I never mentioned the name of the school I was expelled from, or my fear of changing schools and getting in fights in the hallways.
It was lunch time before I knew it. I heard Kohara-san rise to sit on Ogata-san’s desk. The teacher didn’t even scold him for his disrespectful behavior.. I studied him for a bit. Neither Ogata-san nor Kohara-san had brought lunch with them. They had a third friend who sat on the floor near Ogata-san’s school bag. Kohara-san looked upon him sympathetically, offering him his seat on the desk. “Are you sure you don’t want to sit up here today, Nao-kun?”
“N-no. It’s alright. I always sit down here.”
Three girls approached them shyly. One of them, her hair in pigtails, ventured forward with a bento in her hands. “S-Shou-kun, I brought you a bento today. I made it myself. Please accept it!”
“And I brought one for Hiroto-Kun!”
So…. His name was Shou? It fit somehow...elegant and strong. I found myself rooting for the girls to be rejected, but I knew it wouldn’t happen. Kohara-san beamed widely “Oh! Thank you Miyoko-chan! Your bentos are always wonderful!” he said sweetly, accepting the pink plastic container with a nod. Miyoko blushed furiously and I felt the need to smack her. Besides, her cooking was probably a far cry from my mother’s. I opened my bento box smugly, admiring the artistry for a moment before beginning. Kohara-san had started too-- he ate delicately, like a girl. I had never before wanted to be a pair of chopsticks so badly! For someone so thin, he ate very quickly. I noticed with annoyance that Miyoko and her friends had been watching the entire time like he was some sort of circus act. Kohara-san passed the box back to her. “Thank you again! That was very good! I swear, they get better and better everyday.” He sighed dreamily. One of Miyoko’s friends called out suddenly “I think Saga-kun is jealous! Don’t worry. I’ll make you a bento tomorrow!”
“Why are you being so familiar with me suddenly?” I said bluntly, staring at my lunch. My appetite was gone even though my mother made my favorites today. The girl laughed. “What about me, Rina-chaaaan?” I heard Ogata-san whine. “Don’t worry! Miyoko will make two bentos. Right?”
“Yeah!”
Their exchange was so trivial I couldn’t help but laugh quietly.
“Sakamoto-san.”
I nearly had a heart attack at Kohara-san’s voice coming from in front of me. I looked up slowly and there he was, leaning on my desk.
“Y-yes.” I stuttered, not looking directly at him. Dammit, had to keep my image. “Yeah?” I said a bit louder in a casual tone.
“Are you eating your bento? I’m still hungry, and it looks good. Please?” he asked hopefully, already pulling the box towards himself. His hands were nice, I observed; slender fingers and not very rough looking. I heard Miyoko make a confused noise (“Eeeeeh?”). I didn’t say anything and Kohara-san took it as a yes, taking the box back to Ogata-san’s desk. I watched him out of the corner of my eye, not wanting to get caught again. He took one bite, and his doe-eyes widened. “So good…” he whispered. I felt a pang of happiness. He’s eating my food… his hands are touching a possession of mine. I mentally smacked myself for thinking such things. A few hours and I’m already infatuated with… with… No, had to keep myself sane until I got home. Then I could face whatever feeling had rooted into my heart. Almost like the mycelium of a mushroom.
I knew one thing; I was definitely not letting mother wash that bento box.
When Kohara-san was finished, he left the empty box on my desk. “Thank you, Sakamoto-san. It was wonderful. And thank your mother for me.” He was probably smiling, but I willed myself not to indulge.
“Shou-kun, tomorrow I’ll make you a bigger bento so you don’t have to take poor Saga-kun’s lunch, okay?”
“Okay!”
I wanted to shout out “By all means, take my lunch whenever you want. I couldn’t care less”, but that would raise uncomfortable questions like “Why are you doing this for me?” to which to answer would be “I want you to love me.” And then the girls would gasp and giggle. I couldn’t handle that, so I kept quiet.
After lunch was over, I just wanted the day to be over so I could get home and relax and think about things.. Maybe play a confused and heartsick beat on my bass. But first was the rest of my subjects, then gym (my stomach did a little flip at the thought of this), and the cleaning of the school. I paid attention like a good little student for the rest of class time. Like before, it wasn’t too difficult for me. The real test would be gym. I was never very athletic and could bet myself 10,000 yen that Kohara-san was… and he’d be watching me. I’d be watching him too, in a different way.
“Focus, Saga, Focus.” I told myself, trying to read the English sentence diagram on the board. It was an excerpt from a poem by some guy named Edgar Allen Poe. I hadn’t studied English this closely last year, so it took me by surprise. The classroom phone rang in the middle of the English teacher’s explanation. He apologized to us and turned to answer it. I could sense Ogata-san passing a note to Kohara-san behind me. Besides that, the class started whispering and laughing among each other. I watched the teacher, his expression changing from curiosity to concern. He placed his hand over the receiver for a moment and turned to face us.
“Sakamoto-san. The principal wants to see you urgently. You aren’t in trouble.” He said calmly. I stood slowly, closing my notebooks. The worst scenarios flickered through my mind no matter how hard I tried to stop them. Perhaps I was being transferred out of the class. Or maybe I was in trouble and the teacher just didn’t want me running straight out of the school. I shuffled to the door, knowing everyone was watching me again. I turned and bowed to the teacher, and then exited the classroom, heart thumping in suspense.
My feet carried me down the hall. How could this be so urgent? Logically, if I wasn’t in trouble, perhaps I was being rewarded. It’d be a relief then. I could only hope that my old school had decided to take me back again. Then I could see Tora…But If I was going back, that’d mean I’d never see Kohara-san ever again.... I’d just refuse, then. I could talk to Tora on the phone or the computer, and see him on Saturday afternoon and Sunday. That decided, I reached the office door. I knocked twice and was admitted inside immediately.
Right away I knew this was not good news. There were three other students; the youngest was a first year with a tear-stained face. The others didn’t look much better. “Sit down, Sakamoto-san.” the principal said, gesturing to an empty chair. Once I did, I looked up expectantly.
“Sakamoto-san, you are probably not aware of this, but today around noon a shooting took place in the train station near here. Before police could stop the attack, several people were hurt and... unfortunately killed. I’m sorry to say this, but your mother was one of the victims. She was... dead upon arrival to the hospital.”
Shock permeated my mind. I felt as if a soccer ball had rammed me in the stomach. “No.” I breathed. “That can’t be true! What kind of joke is this?” I shouted, standing. At that moment, I didn’t care that I was yelling at the principal. This wasn’t fair. This wasn’t right. I slammed my hands down on the desk. “This can’t be true!” I sobbed. Didn’t care that I was making a scene either..
“I know a loss can be hard, so…since the day is almost over, all of you are permitted to go home early, if you feel you are unfit to learn for the rest of the day. However, I expect all of you to return tomorrow. Extra absences aren’t tolerated.”
I didn’t understand how she could remain calm like that. My temper was boiling over in the form of angry tears. Hiding my face from the others, I left without a word, sprinting back to the class to collect my things.
Once I had caught the bus, I felt dead inside. The class had been concern when I burst in, grabbed my stuff and left without a word. They must have thought I got expelled or something. That Miyoko girl had the nerve to ask me what was wrong. I didn’t let Kohara-san see how I was crying, fortunately. But, my mother was … gone. Just like that. I could recall talking to her the previous night with no difficulty. We laughed over dinner. She told me that lunch was in the fridge, and to have a great first day. That would never happen again. At least her last meal was enjoyed by someone worthy. The thought of having to live alone scares me-- I can’t even remember my father, for my parents weren’t married when they had me.He just left us. And now my mother has left me. I needed to talk to Tora now, but that’d have to wait. There was homework and chores to be done at home.
The bus disappeared down the street. I swung open our gate and walked the short path to the front door. Once the door was unlocked, I slipped inside the dark house. My shoes were left at the door and I dropped my bag on the couch. The answering machine on the kitchen counter said I had two new messages. I pressed play and reclined on the couch, closing my puffy eyes.
“Hey, Saga-kun. This is Uncle Keiji. I’m sure you’ve heard the news by now and... I’m really sorry. My sister was really important to me as well. Since you are 17, the custody people are letting you stay in the house for now, as long as you keep up your part-time work. I know for a fact that my sister has left you plenty of money as well, so don’t worry about that too much. I’m concerned that you’ll be irresponsible with it or something. In a bit, you’ll be out of Senior High School and moving on to college. I’m sure you’ll get accepted into a music school if you try hard enough. Call me if there’s something wrong, alright? And I offer you my condolences again. Bye.”
“Saga, it’s me. Call me when you get home, and tell me about your day! Did you hear about the train station shooting? I really hope it wasn’t anyone we know. It’s a small world. School is weird without you. We should hang out Sunday. Take the train to Harajuku or something to watch the rockabillies and eat at a themed café or something. My treat. Bye.”
As much as I wanted to call Tora, I had homework to do and I knew he had more. At least it’d distract me from my day. Shou… I had to tell him about Shou.
It felt strange to finish my homework so fast, for once. It was certainly a relief, but the pain had just built up in my chest. Mother would have made me a snack and asked me about my day. She would have nagged me to do my homework and ask if I needed anything. Tears begun again, sliding down my cheeks and creating dark patches on my uniform. The rice cooker beeped, in the kitchen, though I ignored it, even as my stomach was growling from lack of lunch. I brought my cell phone out from my school bag, and hit the speed dial for Tora.
“Hello Saga. I was wondering when you’d call. What’s up?”
“Hi.” To my dismay, my voice gave away the fact that…
“Saga…? Have you been crying? Please don’t tell me that-“
“Yeah. My mom…” I choked out.
Silence.
“Damn. I’m really, really, really sorry. You need Sunday. Maybe I should come over…”
“No. I’m….I’ll manage. It’s nice of you to clear your Sunday for me. “
“It’s not a problem. How was your first day? See any cute guys?”
I made a noise of protest.
“Fine. You don’t have to tell me.. I’m just curious.” I heard him laugh.
“Well, the subjects are much easier. I already did all my homework.”
“Damn. I’m jealous now. But y’know how my family is. As you know, they expect me to become some sort of world-class medical specialist or something.”
“I’m glad my aunt and uncle support me becoming a musician. But, if you must know I … I sit in front of the most gorgeous human I have ever seen.”
“Oh really? Do tell.” Tora sounded amused.
“His name is Kohara Shou and he’s perfect.”
“You sound like a school girl. Nobody can be perfect.”
“I know, but he is perfect.”
“I really don’t believe you, Saga. You just met the guy today and you’re already loopy for him. How many times did you talk to him?”
“Once. He wanted my bento. I let him have it. Now I’m starving.”
“Oh jeez, Saga. You pushover.”
“I couldn’t say no! You haven’t met him. You would know.”
“Then I say we look for him on Sunday. He is one of those V kei types, right?”
“I guess… He’s blond. I think he was wearing eyeliner…..” An image of Shou’s face flickered before my eyes and I inhaled sharply.
“Then we’ll look for him. Alright? Saga, I gotta finish my science homework. I’ll call you later I guess if it’s not too late. You should make yourself some dinner. Don’t burn the house down.”
“Okay. I love you Tora.”
“Daaaw. No need to be so …emotional. I’m here for you if you want to talk about your mom.”
“Uncle said that too.. Thanks. Bye then.”
“Bye.”
I set the cell phone down on the counter with a sigh. It was getting dark outside and I still hadn’t turned the lights on. When I flicked them on, it took me a moment to get used to the light. I turned on the television to watch the news and began to make myself a simple dinner. I didn't really feel like eating then either. Instead I sat at stared at my plate as I willed tears not to manifest themselves again. No matter who I talked to, I wouldn't feel better. I felt like I was spiraling down again. I hadn't even touched my bass that night and nor did I want to. Now more than ever, I wished that my mother was here. I could have told her about Shou and she would have known what to do. She was my only lifeline besides Tora. The tears were unstoppable at this point, so I just let them go.
Before I went to bed that night, I placed the bento box Shou ate from beside my futon. Maybe it would give me the good dreams that I needed.