Explaination
Have you ever felt like wanted to cry but couldn't figure out what is there to cry about because there is so much to cry about? Feel like you can't for the life of you trigger what's wrong or can't focus on much of anything? Feel trapped and can't escape this bind? There's something I wanna do but I get fragments of ideas of it but can't fiure it out. I keep myself in my room most of the day and through the night. This is a big burden on my part..I can't eat because I'm hungrey, hell..I can even smile anymore I feel completly numb all over again. I feel like a burden to everyone around me even if I didn't do anything to anybody lately. I'm almost scared to be around people now-a-days. Have I grown so blind only God can save me if I knew the way to the light. I've given up on God for two reasons. Everything I used to pray for then, I never even got the slightest answer niether have I gotten a sign. Second reason because the way my grandfather talks about it, homosexuals and lesbians ''Can't and will not be allowed in the gates of heaven'' As most of you know I'm bisexual. This cancels me out automaticly. My mother has a strange belief that God deals with them a special way. My grandfather believes that only the satanist are the gay and lesbian and if I ''gave God a chance'' He's makes me straight, doesn't work that way, sorry. People are born with their sexuality. Nothing is going to change that. But that isn't most of my problem about the God thing. Just lately I've been so cold and depressed and I can't figure out why. I need help.