life is good...i changed this poem a bit.
Fanconi Anemia = Survivors Guilt
For Janelle
Many months spent in the bubble alone.
I remember:
Plastic walls
no windows
darkness
plastic people -
here to visit me.
My parents and French doctors who blurt gibberish.
I’m not home so I jump with my blanket:
on my sterile bed,
with its sterile sheets,
in my sterile bubble -
the floor is dirty.
Lost blankets cause a 4 ½ year old to cry.
My rag prettily plucked by Frenchmen,
to clean.
Returned, never again to jump on beds.
Then they turn on me
the Europeans with accents and tools in hand.
They scrub away my innards
stealing me from future sickness.
A lifetime later, their lies lay revealed -
saved from one horror and fed to another.
me for Her.
Late nights spent on soggy docks
cross-legged conversations beneath a star soaked empyrean.
me for Her.
I glimpsed her last on video.
Taped funerals stab my heart.
me for Her.
Processionals led into forest clearings.
A single candle passed round to ignite the next.
Her parent’s eyes shrink wrapped in tears
the pain they carry forever sears.
Locked into hearts unwillingly
harbored forever unwittingly.
(check the tags to find the old one i guess)
For Janelle
Many months spent in the bubble alone.
I remember:
Plastic walls
no windows
darkness
plastic people -
here to visit me.
My parents and French doctors who blurt gibberish.
I’m not home so I jump with my blanket:
on my sterile bed,
with its sterile sheets,
in my sterile bubble -
the floor is dirty.
Lost blankets cause a 4 ½ year old to cry.
My rag prettily plucked by Frenchmen,
to clean.
Returned, never again to jump on beds.
Then they turn on me
the Europeans with accents and tools in hand.
They scrub away my innards
stealing me from future sickness.
A lifetime later, their lies lay revealed -
saved from one horror and fed to another.
me for Her.
Late nights spent on soggy docks
cross-legged conversations beneath a star soaked empyrean.
me for Her.
I glimpsed her last on video.
Taped funerals stab my heart.
me for Her.
Processionals led into forest clearings.
A single candle passed round to ignite the next.
Her parent’s eyes shrink wrapped in tears
the pain they carry forever sears.
Locked into hearts unwillingly
harbored forever unwittingly.
(check the tags to find the old one i guess)