(no subject)
well tomorrow is my 22 birthday. the way i just see it. its just another fucking year of hell,pain,heart ach,broken promisies and cake. chris is getting me a cake and its fucking great. it has an anti-flag symbol and i picture of me on it. its so great... i am going to hate tomorrow the only thing that is going to make it better is i will be with chris the whole day its great to have by my side for this long. he is the only person i can fucking trust. man i just wish he was a girl cause i would date him. lol. courtney cant make it down cause she is going to be in new york but that isnt new news cause she told me that she cant make it down when she first got to new york and skye was supposed to hang with me but i told her but she also makes broken promisies. what hurts the most is my twin sister will most likely not wish me a happy birthday but ill be the bigger person and i guess ill call her. man ill be 22 i alwaysed wish that i wouldnt be alive still. my goal in life was to die before i was 22. but i guess i am just stronger think i give my self credit for. i guess chris and eric are keeping me alive cause for some odd reason they beleive in me. yes there are other people that beleive in my but they broke promisies or broke my heart so right about now i just have to be with the two people that really do like me for who i am and never went back on a promise. i know for a fact this year when i turn 22 its just going to be another fucked up year of life and i guess i just have to hang in there but it sucks i am hanging on with my hand and the rest of me is just starting to fall into a deep black hole and there is no one to catch me when i fall but chris and eric but mine and chris's bound is much stronger then mine and eric's just because chris has been through alot more shit with me then anyone in this life time. yea the people i want to be here on my 22 birthday will not be here and that hurts alot i guess there is no words to describe how i am feeling...thats how low i am well ill stop going on about my problems its not like they will change if i write about it ill still feel the same and to make it worse my car is dieing thats what sucks the most but like i always tell people now i dont give a fuck i am just used to all the bad news all the drama and life and how shitty it is well fuck this and fuck how i feel cause nothing is going to change much....
FUCK IT,I LOST MY FAITH IN ALMOST EVERYONE,I LOST MY FAITH IN LIFE,I LOST MY FAITH IN LOVE, HELL I JUST WISH I CAN JUST LEAVE THIS SHITTY WORLD.I GUESS SOMEBODY HAS BIG PLANS FOR ME THATS WHY I AM STILL HERE.........FOR NOW......................MY DARKEST OF LOVE .....RAY........
FUCK IT,I LOST MY FAITH IN ALMOST EVERYONE,I LOST MY FAITH IN LIFE,I LOST MY FAITH IN LOVE, HELL I JUST WISH I CAN JUST LEAVE THIS SHITTY WORLD.I GUESS SOMEBODY HAS BIG PLANS FOR ME THATS WHY I AM STILL HERE.........FOR NOW......................MY DARKEST OF LOVE .....RAY........