control
I'm a bit of a control freak. It pisses me off when I make serious plans, look forward to said plans, and because of some mishap I need to cancel those plans and rearrange my day/week/life. I like to know everything and be able to make decisions on things I think are important.
So - this wedding. Obviously, important. Although it is just one day, and Filippo and I have felt married for years. To me, the wedding is important for three reasons. One, I will never again have the chance to blow this much on a party I get to choose everything for. Two, it's an outward representation of our love and, essentially, us. And, while I hate to admit it, reason three is that I care about what other people think. I can't have a crap wedding!
Now that we are T-25 days away, I find myself freaking out about... flowers. I vacillate between wanting to know everything and wanting to know nothing, so that on the day that I planned down to the last detail I will at least have one surprise. But the thing about a surprise is - I can't know much. What if I hate them? Did I just spend lots of money on crap flowers?
But then I don't know the first thing about flowers. I know nothing. So it seems the smart thing to do to let the expert do her own thing. Right?
Sometimes I wish I would shut up. Shut up, brain.
So - this wedding. Obviously, important. Although it is just one day, and Filippo and I have felt married for years. To me, the wedding is important for three reasons. One, I will never again have the chance to blow this much on a party I get to choose everything for. Two, it's an outward representation of our love and, essentially, us. And, while I hate to admit it, reason three is that I care about what other people think. I can't have a crap wedding!
Now that we are T-25 days away, I find myself freaking out about... flowers. I vacillate between wanting to know everything and wanting to know nothing, so that on the day that I planned down to the last detail I will at least have one surprise. But the thing about a surprise is - I can't know much. What if I hate them? Did I just spend lots of money on crap flowers?
But then I don't know the first thing about flowers. I know nothing. So it seems the smart thing to do to let the expert do her own thing. Right?
Sometimes I wish I would shut up. Shut up, brain.