(no subject)
Fuck you, RAF
Fuck you for seducing my boyfriend, with your promises of flight and rescue work.
Fuck you for stopping me from sleeping.
Fuck you for making me worry, constantly, for making me have to hide it.
Fuck you for threatening my long sought happiness, my love.
What am I supposed to do if they accept him? Smile and say, it's ok dear, you may kill or be killed, you may be changed beyond all recognition due to the horrors you'll encounter, you may sign 12 years of your life away and curse it at every moment, but I will still be here, in a long distance relationship, that will never return to normality? But of course I bite my tongue, he knows how i feel, knows also that I want to support him in any endeavour that will make him happy.
The problem is of course, I want to make myself happy also. I don't want to pine away for a man who I will barely see, who will be away 6 months at a time, with only email as a form of communication. But the alternative is to break it off, which i know i would regret for the rest of my life. So I will try, and suffer, for the sake of the man i love. That's a rubbish prospect. But I am screwed, either way.
I hate that I am praying that they will not accept him.
Fuck you for seducing my boyfriend, with your promises of flight and rescue work.
Fuck you for stopping me from sleeping.
Fuck you for making me worry, constantly, for making me have to hide it.
Fuck you for threatening my long sought happiness, my love.
What am I supposed to do if they accept him? Smile and say, it's ok dear, you may kill or be killed, you may be changed beyond all recognition due to the horrors you'll encounter, you may sign 12 years of your life away and curse it at every moment, but I will still be here, in a long distance relationship, that will never return to normality? But of course I bite my tongue, he knows how i feel, knows also that I want to support him in any endeavour that will make him happy.
The problem is of course, I want to make myself happy also. I don't want to pine away for a man who I will barely see, who will be away 6 months at a time, with only email as a form of communication. But the alternative is to break it off, which i know i would regret for the rest of my life. So I will try, and suffer, for the sake of the man i love. That's a rubbish prospect. But I am screwed, either way.
I hate that I am praying that they will not accept him.