(no subject)
My mum. She has been so near impossible this holiday.
I swear there's some part of her that will always have poisonous emotions towards me, i don't know what it stems from exactly, but it is wearing me down so much i'm thinking i might have to go and spend the rest of my time in colchester at my dads.
Maybe we can't live together. She kept putting me down today in front of my family and it just made me want to cry. For example, she called me over to a private conversation between her and my grandma and in front of everybody, including friends of the family, made my embaressed grandma recall what she had just mentioned - that i was apparently "no longer beautiful" due to being too thin. My mum then went on to illuminate the room on how sunken eyed and ill looking i had become, and that it wasn't "just her who had noticed it". I am not even underweight.
I don't mnd that my grandma might say that, but why share views of my apparent ugly appearance with everyone? i wouldn't bring up her being overweight in company.
I just wanted one day without this. One day where her behaviour did not bring back my own frustrating teenage reactions.
Today has been kind of shit.
I swear there's some part of her that will always have poisonous emotions towards me, i don't know what it stems from exactly, but it is wearing me down so much i'm thinking i might have to go and spend the rest of my time in colchester at my dads.
Maybe we can't live together. She kept putting me down today in front of my family and it just made me want to cry. For example, she called me over to a private conversation between her and my grandma and in front of everybody, including friends of the family, made my embaressed grandma recall what she had just mentioned - that i was apparently "no longer beautiful" due to being too thin. My mum then went on to illuminate the room on how sunken eyed and ill looking i had become, and that it wasn't "just her who had noticed it". I am not even underweight.
I don't mnd that my grandma might say that, but why share views of my apparent ugly appearance with everyone? i wouldn't bring up her being overweight in company.
I just wanted one day without this. One day where her behaviour did not bring back my own frustrating teenage reactions.
Today has been kind of shit.