(no subject)
i've noticed something rather disturbing today, my hair is in places thinning, especially that around my hairline, and some of it's coming out. i talked to my mum about it and she also has been getting thinning hair, my guess is that it's probably stress related, because things at the moment are pretty dire. my dad seems to be in complete denial about the divorce thing, he hasn't moved out, is spending money from my parents joint account and refuses to get a full time job because he would rather spend time setting up a buisness that is going nowhere than support me and my brother, my mother is the soul provider, and he even wants part of her pension.
it's all just so horrible, and the worst part is my main fears about being the mediator have been realized, my mum is unable to talk to him about these issues because he refuses adamntly to see her, and the only way he is ever going to get a flat is if i talk to him. i have, my whole fucking life, been placed against my will in this situation, but i know if i don't play my role nothing will be resolved and this godawful divorce will just go on and on for months and months to come. i have in some ways seen their true colours in the recent time period, my mum has been mature and civil, telling me and Tom exactly what is happening and why. my dad on the other hand acts like a bratty teenager making remarks like "i want to try all drugs" and reading FHM like some smirking acne riddled 18 year old chav. Jesus christ i can't wait until i go to uni and get away from this suffocating environment, it's just draining me of all energy i have, which is precious little and needed for concentrating on college
need to escape!
it's all just so horrible, and the worst part is my main fears about being the mediator have been realized, my mum is unable to talk to him about these issues because he refuses adamntly to see her, and the only way he is ever going to get a flat is if i talk to him. i have, my whole fucking life, been placed against my will in this situation, but i know if i don't play my role nothing will be resolved and this godawful divorce will just go on and on for months and months to come. i have in some ways seen their true colours in the recent time period, my mum has been mature and civil, telling me and Tom exactly what is happening and why. my dad on the other hand acts like a bratty teenager making remarks like "i want to try all drugs" and reading FHM like some smirking acne riddled 18 year old chav. Jesus christ i can't wait until i go to uni and get away from this suffocating environment, it's just draining me of all energy i have, which is precious little and needed for concentrating on college
need to escape!