Hate is a strong word...
Where to start is always a good question...
And where better to start then with a re-cap of this little love story?
So Temari meet Shikamaru about seven months ago.
And within the first day he confessed to being in love with her by whispering "I love you" just before she got off the phone with him.
The next day he asked day her out over the phone.
A day or so later- after telling him "No" once- he asked again.
This time she said ‘yes’.
Why?
Well pity for one... but that’s not to say she wasn’t attracted to his charm and looks.
The facted that any guy would give her a second look boosted her sprits
But it also made her question how desperate he must have been..(to ask Temari out you’d have to be pretty desperate)
They started dating and all was well.
Or at least as well as any unnecessary relationship could go.
Temari didn’t love him, but at the same time she did.
She loved that he loved her, and found that they were similar in a few ways.
Shikamaru had been in a several bad relationships that left him hurt and doubting himself.
Temari had just got out of her first and very serious relationship and her still dealing with the wounds.
Together they vowed to help and support one another.
Thought Temari always got the feeling that Shikamaru was a lot more serious then she was.
Temari didn’t believe in love.
She only half believed in it during her first relationship and after it’s less then satisfying end she had given up.
However with Shikamaru he thought he had finally found the right one.
Temari knew he was wrong.
She knew that despite what he said she was nothing special(though it was a nice thought)
Any girl could have been the ‘right one’.
Any girl could have said "yes, I love you"
and any girl could have been the one he needed to fill the gap in Shikamaru’s heart.
Temari just happened to be the fist one to do so.
Temari tried to keep her feeling at a distance while she figured a way out of the mess she had thrown herself in.
But despite her efforts Temari grew found of Shikamaru.
Love wouldn’t be the right word but it was something close.
The fist time they kissed in Temari’s house she felt something she hadn’t before.
When his arms where around her she felt safe, warm, and beautiful.
He made her feel like she was worth something if only for a moment.
But she reminded herself as often as she could that this wasn’t right.
He didn’t love her.
He couldn’t love her.
He only wanted someone.
Anyone would do. She was worth nothing to him in reality and vice vera.
Shikamaru was looking for a life partner.
Temari wasn’t. They couldn’t be together because she wouldn’t let them.
A strain was place on their relationship when Shikamaru’s bitch of a mother found bite marks on his neck.
Temari went from being bragged about and praised to being the subject of his mother’s bitching.
Of course this made Temari feel and still feels like a cheep whore.
Every moment with that women around is horrible.
She’d glare at Temari when she went to the gym to go see Shikamaru in a play or in a concert.
And after them, the redhead devil would storm off to her car, barking at her son to make his goodbyes quick.
If Temari wasn’t afraid of her before, she was for sure now...
Every slightest thing Shikamaru got in trouble for his punishment was not being able to go to youth, the only place him and Temari really got to see each other outside of school.
This isn’t to say it was Shikamaru’s mom’s fault for Temari wanting out of the relationship.
But her hate of Temari sure didn’t help ether...
There was stress for a good while but it blew over somewhat..
Temari got use to seeing Shikamaru a little less and not much changed.
Time went on.
Besides the whole not wanting the be in a relationship, and bitch mother, there was just a few other problems.(nothing is ever perfect)
Shikamaru is clingy. VERY clingy.
Thought it was sweet and all there is a time and a place for everything.
And the times and a places Shikamaru chose where not them....
Hugging isn’t allowed at school but despite this he wraps himself around her when ever he can.
He will hold her hand and kiss it or kiss her forehead, and right in front of everyone none the less
Often this gets them in trouble at school with teacher and even the principal.
Though Temari tries to pull away most time or angles her body away from him.
She’s told him before not to do such things.
But he does them still. Then he apologizes, saying "I can’t help it..."
She’s knows it’s a lie.
Temari realizes that because they aren’t able to see one another outside of school, school is the only place they can do that sort of thing.
However this doesn’t mean that Temari wants to lower herself to the whore-ish statice of the other kids at school and make-out behind the school building.
It’s just trashy.
But Shikamaru doesn’t seem to think so.
And no matter how many time she tells him and how many times they’ve been told to stop doesn’t seem to effect him at all.
To make matters worse Temari gave him that note that said:
"Where do you see us in the future?
The day will come when I’m going to hurt you. I love you. I don’t want to hurt you but I’m going to... So please hate me, or lets just be friends".
That letter led to a short discussion about Temari graduating before him, and going to college while he was still in Deming.
She said it there was not way around it she would have to leave him.
They were going to have to end the relationship at one point.
Shikamaru- "Is that what you want?"(referring to them just being friends)
(avoiding yelling ‘YES!’)Temari- "I just don’t want to hurt you...I know the longer we wait the more it will hurt"
Shikamaru- "You could never hurt me"
Temari- "...Okay..."
Shikamaru- "So what do you want to do?"
Temari- "..." "What do you want?"
Shikamaru- "You tell me"
Temari- "I don’t really care..."
Shikamaru- "What do you want?"
Temari- "...Lets...stay together" She gives a weak smile and grabbed his hand.
Oddly she found it easy to look into his eyes even though it seemed that he might cry.
After that he got even worse about hanging on her.
It was like he thought letting go meant he’d lose her..
Aside from that, that semester Temari had been VERY VERY stressed out.
Her Language teacher pilled on the home work, like her class was the only one her students had.
Temari was having to skip school to stay home and read "The Hobbit" write short stories, and summerize many novels.
This led to home work and make up work in all her other classes not to mention a loss of a lot of sleep and free time.
Temari had to quit going to Art club for a while(or spent her time there working on homework),
Hanging out with friends stopped, and she couldn’t go to the marshal arts class after school ether.
Her schedule was full and she keep getting ‘sick’, but there was little time for that.
The few minutes she had before school and during lunch Temari was doing all that she could to get caught up.
But Shikamaru must have missed getting her attention during this time.
Often he would grab her pencil so she couldn’t write or would pull her paper way.
And he’d talk while she was reading one of the many required books.
Finally Temari would snapped and rant about all the work she had to do.
He would then go all "Emo" and apologize repeatedly.
When he wasn’t trying to keep her from doing her work, he was trying to get her to do his.
He would bring up randomly how he was failing classes.
He only said this so she would lecture him about being lazy.
She knew it was just for attention, but still feel for it every time.
But this only dug a deeper whole for herself to climb out of later.
Shikamaru asked her to help him to write book reports since he had the same teacher she had the year before.
And because he didn’t pay attention in class he didn’t know how to.
Of course on top of her own work and half way helping him, Temari was still calling him at night so they could talk and supporting him by going to all his plays and concerts.
And though Temari whined to Shikamaru all the time about her work load he still pressured her into staying after school for drama rehearsals.
And when the lights went off on stage and they were in the dark or alone he would try to kiss her.
Temari would never let him though so she is sure he must have thought she had lost her interest in him.
This was half true.
The pressure didn’t stop there but it is all she’ll say for now.
This was all just emotional stress that added to her headache.
Temari can not deny the happiness that she feels when she’s around him, but she also can’t deny the agony of it all ether.
She can see that to him, her education means nothing.
All he wants is affection.
He could careless what goals she has as long as he’s apart of them some how.
She also knows that he would deny it because he masked his intentions with innocence that he believes.
And perhaps he is innocent, and didn’t see the harm he was doing.
Tonight Temari was talking to Shikamaru.
He asked her if she would help him.
"Okay. Help you with what?" Temari asked.
Shikamaru- "You know how you said you’d graduate before me so we wouldn’t be able to be with each other? And you know that I am suppose to be in the same grade as you right?"
Temari-"Yeah..." (She really didn’t know that last part...)
Shikamaru-" Well I thought about it a while and I want you to help me. If can take this sophomore test at the end of the year I can get put into your grade. I want to prove to everyone that I’m not as dumb as they think. I can do the work, I’m just lazy (about this time- between the phone kinda breaking up and her mind screaming in her ears- Temari didn’t really understand him. But this is what she thought she heard) I thought that I could graduate with the class I suppose to, get a job, and start taking college classes. Maybe over the internet and keep a house here. This way I’d be able to spend time with you. So what do you think?"
(At the words "keep a house here" her brain automatically assumed that he wanted to stay in Deming, and keep a house for the two of them when she was done with college. She could be wrong though but it scared her none the less...)
Temari- "I think it’s great that you want to prove everybody wrong.^^
Shikamaru- "And what about the other part?"
Temari- "About being with me?"
Shikamaru- "Yeah "
Temari- "I think... That any plans you have involving me...will lead to disappointment"
Shikamaru- "W-what do you mean..?"
Temari- "...I mean I’m going to disappoint you"
Shikamaru- "So what are trying to say..?"
Temari- "..."
Shikamaru- "My love?"
Temari- "..."
Shikamaru- "My love, what do you mean?"
Temari- "...I don’t know anymore I have to go."
She quickly rushed off the phone and told him not to worry.
Shikamaru apologized for saying anything, but again she said not to worry.
That’s were it ends for now...
This relationship that was never meant to be has to end now more then ever.
She’s let it go on for too long and has to break it off before she hurts him even worse
In this story Temari has turned out to be the bad guy..
Is there anyway she can turn it around?
Lost in a haze,
~Temari