Dear Cainan...

Jan 18, 2007 23:15

...

.::[The Truth]::.

Dear Cainan,

I’m sorry but I don’t love you any more… I did but now I just don’t. In fact I have grown to hate you. However it is only because of my lack of action to tell you this sooner…
Personality wise you really you are the ideal boyfriend. But when it comes to sanity that you lack… a lot.

I have news for you…your not a werewolf! I’m sorry to tell you this but they do not exist! Therefore you can’t be one, and you couldn’t have turned me into one. Vampires too are not real. Your grasp on reality is even worse then mine and that’s saying something… As far as loving you goes, I did at one point. Key word “did”. Then I found out you were lustful and quit a crazy person…The only thing I love ((using the word lightly)) about you now is that you say you love me, and that makes me feel good. However I’m starting to doubt that… I still think your sweet, funny, nice, and all that good stuff.

I don’t want to get married, not to you or to anyone for that matter. I didn’t believe in all that love sh*t to start with. However, my opinion on love did change a bit when we first met but now it’s back to the original “Love suck” opinion…

I'm so sorry. Only I can take the blame for this. I was the one who was interested in you first, and it was my friend who got you to say you liked me too. I started this and paid the price for it. Now I just want to fix it…And to do that I need to end it. I hate myself for putting the two of us through this. 
...Forgive me, this letter is tribally rude but true…

Good-bye,
Courtney K

.::[The Partial Lie]::.

Dear, Cainan

I’ve thought about it a while and I figured that, though painful at first, my mom making us break up was the best for you…
Honestly there are a lot of things about me you didn’t know… And I wish you would never have to tell you but I think you should know now. Hopefully in the end you’ll think of me as just another bad thing in your life you got over.

For one, I’m mentally unstable. I have mood swings more often then a person should…
Some I can control and hide, others; like my little break down when I wanted to cry for some unknown reason, I cannot. There been times when I want to just kill something/someone for no logical reason.

I’m a cutter, suicidal, a perfectionist, a wannabe anorexic, and so much more…
There’s the whole bulimia thing, which I can tell you I haven’t stopped even though I told you I would… There by making me a liar… I could go on and on about my faults but by now I hope you get the point…

Cainan, you’re one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met, and I love you.
But you and I both know that you can do so much better then this homely little girl.
I hope you find your true love soon, because apparently we are not meant to be...
I can cry no tears for you because in the end this is what is best.
You’re a strong guy Cain, you got over Kelly so you will get over me.
I hope to stay ‘Friends’ but if that’s something you can’t do I’ll understand…
Forgive me for setting foot in your life, Cainan, I wish you only the best.

Love,
Courtney K.

.::[__..__]::.

Ok so those are my two letters…one of them needs to be sent to him but I don’t know which.
The truth hurts but I don’t want to be a liar so I’m stuck.
If I send him the lie I plan on telling him my mom found out about us and doesn’t want me to be with him. ((I can come up with a million reasons why she wouldn’t…))
But I hate lying and I’m trying not to do it so much…plus I’m a terrible liar. I would stutter and forget to sound mournful when I talk to him to break the bad news.
But again I don’t wont to hurt him…
Damn compassionate side of me! I hate human emotion!

Ah, to hell with it!...I think I'll just lie...

lie, cainan, love, letter, sorry, truth

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