Open Heart...
I think that I write in this journal as an attempt to get peoples attention, but now I am writing for my benefit. I also think sometimes we write what we want people to hear, no the complete and honest truth...
So if you want some truth...then here it is...if not I would stop while you're ahead. you might get offended!!!
These past few months living in Cleveland have opened my eyes to a ton of things! I wish I could go back and live so many things over, I wouldn't have taken certain times for granted! I feel I have lost touch with some of the bestest friends I have ever had, but in return gotten some friendships that will last a life time. Don't get me wrong I love Brittany to death, but I miss Alison. No one could ever replace the friendship we had. I tried to call her on her bday, but she didn't answer. I think she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I will miss that friendship if that is the case. I try calling her every now and then and she doesn't answer. It's not that I haven't tried, I just think she has given up. I miss her and her family! I miss Kimberly!! I get to see her every now and again, I just wish that when I was living back home I would've taken more time to hang out with her! I just don't know why I let all these relationships go down the drain! I cannot do that anymore. I hate knowing that someone doesn't want to talk to me. And I know about being busy and stuff, because I am always doing something! I can't make someone want to be around me. I wish it was all just easier.
On another note. Jeremy called me a week ago and we were talking about me going to Indiana with him. He asked me to go a few weeks ago and so I told him that if my mom said I could go I wanted to! So he called me the other day to ask about it again. I told him I didn't think my mom would let me go because he was going to be gone on Christmas. So he asked and she said I wouldn't mind her going I just want her home on Christmas, and I totally understand that because I want to be with my family on Christmas too! So yeah, he asked me if we decided to go after Christmas if I would go and I said gladly. He asked if I knew why he asked that and I said that it was because he just wanted me to go with him, I didn't know. He said no Rebekah its because I miss you and I want us to be together. I was like oh ok...I was really confused at the time. I wanted it to, way more than any boy ever...but I didnt know if it was just going to be something that I didn't need or whatever! I told him that we could talk about it but right now I am having a lot of trouble with school and work. I told him how everything was stressing me out! And he said he knew that he couldn't have come at a worse time with this! I wish it was easier, is what I told him! So after that situation my sister called me on Friday of last week, freaked out and told me to come home, my dad was in the hospital!!! So that was something else I had to worry about.! I didn't plan on coming home that weekend. So I panic-ed and drove home...I called Jeremy and told him I was coming home and so that night we met up and talked and he and I decided that we were not happy with anyone else! So we got back together...I was so happy! We spent Saturday night together too..
My dad is doing okay, this week he had his surgery and he came through okay...he is sick right now, his nose is stopped up and he isnt feeling well! So please pray for him!!!
So if you want some truth...then here it is...if not I would stop while you're ahead. you might get offended!!!
These past few months living in Cleveland have opened my eyes to a ton of things! I wish I could go back and live so many things over, I wouldn't have taken certain times for granted! I feel I have lost touch with some of the bestest friends I have ever had, but in return gotten some friendships that will last a life time. Don't get me wrong I love Brittany to death, but I miss Alison. No one could ever replace the friendship we had. I tried to call her on her bday, but she didn't answer. I think she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I will miss that friendship if that is the case. I try calling her every now and then and she doesn't answer. It's not that I haven't tried, I just think she has given up. I miss her and her family! I miss Kimberly!! I get to see her every now and again, I just wish that when I was living back home I would've taken more time to hang out with her! I just don't know why I let all these relationships go down the drain! I cannot do that anymore. I hate knowing that someone doesn't want to talk to me. And I know about being busy and stuff, because I am always doing something! I can't make someone want to be around me. I wish it was all just easier.
On another note. Jeremy called me a week ago and we were talking about me going to Indiana with him. He asked me to go a few weeks ago and so I told him that if my mom said I could go I wanted to! So he called me the other day to ask about it again. I told him I didn't think my mom would let me go because he was going to be gone on Christmas. So he asked and she said I wouldn't mind her going I just want her home on Christmas, and I totally understand that because I want to be with my family on Christmas too! So yeah, he asked me if we decided to go after Christmas if I would go and I said gladly. He asked if I knew why he asked that and I said that it was because he just wanted me to go with him, I didn't know. He said no Rebekah its because I miss you and I want us to be together. I was like oh ok...I was really confused at the time. I wanted it to, way more than any boy ever...but I didnt know if it was just going to be something that I didn't need or whatever! I told him that we could talk about it but right now I am having a lot of trouble with school and work. I told him how everything was stressing me out! And he said he knew that he couldn't have come at a worse time with this! I wish it was easier, is what I told him! So after that situation my sister called me on Friday of last week, freaked out and told me to come home, my dad was in the hospital!!! So that was something else I had to worry about.! I didn't plan on coming home that weekend. So I panic-ed and drove home...I called Jeremy and told him I was coming home and so that night we met up and talked and he and I decided that we were not happy with anyone else! So we got back together...I was so happy! We spent Saturday night together too..
My dad is doing okay, this week he had his surgery and he came through okay...he is sick right now, his nose is stopped up and he isnt feeling well! So please pray for him!!!