I'm not dead
No matter what, i've always felt like, or have been second best to someone. After a while it just kind of sucks. It makes you feel like you arent good enough, and do people realize that? Maybe I want to sit down and spill my guts out to someone and make them understand. Not just tell me that they know how i feel, but really fucking understand. I just dont see how people can be so blind to what they do and how they make you feel. Yeah, well maybe i'm just too fucking over sensitive right? Maybe i just cant see the whole picture. I know how i feel though. I know what it is like to feel like this too often. I hate having to try and compete for someones attention, it isnt that i even want it. It is the affirmation that I am okay, and that people like me that i need. Why the fuck do i need it? Whatever it makes me fucking sick. More than likely i'm just afriad of the person that i really am. I just want to not care. I just want to not fucking care anymore. I want people to realize what repercussions that their actions cause. And you know most of the time its cool, people dont care. It is just the rare times that something happens and you cant take it anymore and it just isnt fair for someone to have to take that much. People are such fucking hypocrites. And if you are wondering if i am talking about you, then I am. I interalize a lot of my feelings, and things come out in this way. Oh fucking well. I do what i can.