I am going a little bit crazy ...
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STOP!!!!!!
seriously, I am going totally nuts. I freak out cuz I have too much work and then I get it done and I'm bored because I have nothing to do. Yay for being efficent???
Not sleeping again. My brain just won't turn of at night. It totally sucks. I never want to get out of bed.
Too much has happened in the past how-ever-many months, but the week is almost over, so I could tell you about that.
Sunday was a BABW meeting I am one of the oldest bear builders. Besides 2 of the managers and 2 of the other employees, I 've been there the longest. woot woot. What does that say about me? I'm gonna be a bazillion year old master bear builder ... I think I need a teaching job ... like yesterday
Monday Katelynn and I drove back to Oneonta after spending some of our weekend in the 518. And other than that nothing really happened.
Tuesday ... mm .... nada.
Wednesay ... KRIS WAS IN ONEONTA DELIVERING AND I GOT TO SEE HIM!!!!! THAT IS SO TOTALLY AMAZING CUZ THAT NEVER HAPPENS!!! i'M ALMOST ALWAYS IN CLASS WHEN HE'S UP HERE. ok, i guess i can stop using caps now.
Today .... bored. I had Midterm #2 in Englsih Lit this morning. I lost my A+ but I have an A so I guess I can't complain. Child Development is a joke. I really hate that class. And the people in it (Except for three) drive me nuts! I thought I was away from mean asian men ... nope ... wrong there! oy ve. Then i worked on some job corp stuff that didn't require me physically being at job corp. now i am bored.
very.
very.
bored.
If Katelynn were around I'd go stetal her songs ... but no such luck. Guess I'll have to wait to later.
Things are MUCH better than in the begginning of the sememster, but I still feel like I'm loosing my mind half of the time. I met some cool people and has been fun.
I'm so glad I get to go back to my own apartment everynight. If I had to share a bathroom with a floor of girls I think I would cry.
Panic attacks have been much better lately, exept when I get one it now seems a lot worse becasue I've been so good lately.
Kris says I'm perfect. I wish I could see what he sees. Or steal his rose colored glasses so that he would see who he's stuck with. If its going to happen (He swears it won't) I just want it to happen sooner than later so it wouldn't hurt more than he would if he did now.
am i babbling.
i am off my topic I know that much.
I still hate myself. So what else is new? I find myself being bubbly ... very bubbly. like super bubbly for anna. I dealt with a lot of sad people the other day. Being the empathetic person I am I could feel their pain and worry, and there I was bouncing off the walls and around the room telling them that it would be ok! This me! Feeling the pain and bouncing! ugh I am a horrible person.i'm blaming it on the meds, but still! That is so unlike me and its scary. If I could just see what kris sees my life would be so much easier and I'd have much less to worry and be anxious about. I'm going nuts. Seriously. I mean.
Still doubting people's intentions for reasons I don't understand. I guess part of it has to do with the fact that I odn't like myself so I don't trust other people to. does that make sense???
yea, this is me going out of my mind.
Feel free to leave me a message for when I get back.
2
3
4
5
6
STOP!!!!!!
seriously, I am going totally nuts. I freak out cuz I have too much work and then I get it done and I'm bored because I have nothing to do. Yay for being efficent???
Not sleeping again. My brain just won't turn of at night. It totally sucks. I never want to get out of bed.
Too much has happened in the past how-ever-many months, but the week is almost over, so I could tell you about that.
Sunday was a BABW meeting I am one of the oldest bear builders. Besides 2 of the managers and 2 of the other employees, I 've been there the longest. woot woot. What does that say about me? I'm gonna be a bazillion year old master bear builder ... I think I need a teaching job ... like yesterday
Monday Katelynn and I drove back to Oneonta after spending some of our weekend in the 518. And other than that nothing really happened.
Tuesday ... mm .... nada.
Wednesay ... KRIS WAS IN ONEONTA DELIVERING AND I GOT TO SEE HIM!!!!! THAT IS SO TOTALLY AMAZING CUZ THAT NEVER HAPPENS!!! i'M ALMOST ALWAYS IN CLASS WHEN HE'S UP HERE. ok, i guess i can stop using caps now.
Today .... bored. I had Midterm #2 in Englsih Lit this morning. I lost my A+ but I have an A so I guess I can't complain. Child Development is a joke. I really hate that class. And the people in it (Except for three) drive me nuts! I thought I was away from mean asian men ... nope ... wrong there! oy ve. Then i worked on some job corp stuff that didn't require me physically being at job corp. now i am bored.
very.
very.
bored.
If Katelynn were around I'd go stetal her songs ... but no such luck. Guess I'll have to wait to later.
Things are MUCH better than in the begginning of the sememster, but I still feel like I'm loosing my mind half of the time. I met some cool people and has been fun.
I'm so glad I get to go back to my own apartment everynight. If I had to share a bathroom with a floor of girls I think I would cry.
Panic attacks have been much better lately, exept when I get one it now seems a lot worse becasue I've been so good lately.
Kris says I'm perfect. I wish I could see what he sees. Or steal his rose colored glasses so that he would see who he's stuck with. If its going to happen (He swears it won't) I just want it to happen sooner than later so it wouldn't hurt more than he would if he did now.
am i babbling.
i am off my topic I know that much.
I still hate myself. So what else is new? I find myself being bubbly ... very bubbly. like super bubbly for anna. I dealt with a lot of sad people the other day. Being the empathetic person I am I could feel their pain and worry, and there I was bouncing off the walls and around the room telling them that it would be ok! This me! Feeling the pain and bouncing! ugh I am a horrible person.i'm blaming it on the meds, but still! That is so unlike me and its scary. If I could just see what kris sees my life would be so much easier and I'd have much less to worry and be anxious about. I'm going nuts. Seriously. I mean.
Still doubting people's intentions for reasons I don't understand. I guess part of it has to do with the fact that I odn't like myself so I don't trust other people to. does that make sense???
yea, this is me going out of my mind.
Feel free to leave me a message for when I get back.