FUCK

Jun 04, 2008 22:44

i will be sad forever.

tv, commentfic, commentspam gets its own tag now

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:\ sorry, not your favourites. i also didn't manage to use the actual line. anamuan June 5 2008, 07:45:49 UTC
this was not a tumor-tumor, it was a penis.

Yamapi was 11 years old, and he was dying. He hadn't told his mother yet because he thought she would cry. He hated when his mother cried. It was even worse than pop quizzes, because you know that even if you fail the pop quiz, life will still go on. When his mother cried, Yamapi had his doubts about that.

Then again, he was dying, so he supposed that life wouldn't really go on even if his mother didn't cry.

It was a depressing train of thought, so Yamapi tried to ignore it. Instead, he threw himself into what little time he had left with everything he had, going all out in practice, rounding up everyone who was willing to go out afterwards, absolutely not accepting defeat on video games. He didn't know how long he had, but he was going to make it a good one.

He hadn't told his friends yet, because it was kind of embarrassing. You know. Where the tumor was. How was he supposed to bring that up casually? "By the way guys, you can stop including me in your debut dreams, because I'm dying from a tumor in my penis. You can see it all the time, but it keeps coming back in my sleep." That wasn't the kind of thing you wanted your friends to remember about you after you died. It was better to just go quietly, and then have them remember how much better you were at TEKKEN and how it was sad they didn't have anyone to try to become stronger than anymore.

....and i'm quitting now because i'm tired. ;;;?

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Re: :\ sorry, not your favourites. i also didn't manage to use the actual line. cynicalism June 5 2008, 07:50:35 UTC
you were still awake!? no wait, it is you--and holy shit, yes, please go to sleep.

am hoping there is more to this though, because i am suddenly very sad for emo!pi and his tumor(ed?)penis. in a morbidly funny kind of way. but only because he thinks in terms of TEKKEN at his last hours.

;;;;;

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Re: :\ sorry, not your favourites. i also didn't manage to use the actual line. anamuan June 5 2008, 08:03:47 UTC
it's not like you weren't awake to get this. :\

Yamapi waited for two months, worrying on and off about dying and his tumor and if his mother would recover (sometimes he worried about his sister too, but only when they weren't fighting). He wondered when he's start getting sick and when all his hair would fall out like the people on tv. Maybe he'd start coughing up blood. That would probably suck, but it would also be so cool!. He was pretty sure he could get out of homework if he was coughing up blood.

just a little more. i can't seem to get to the part where he realizes he's not dying and that hard-ons are natural and will keep happening to him until he's very, very old.

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Re: :\ sorry, not your favourites. i also didn't manage to use the actual line. cynicalism June 5 2008, 17:43:23 UTC
yes. but i don't go to school? :/

why is it that possibly!dying!pi seems more interesting and amusing to me than regular pi, like, ever?

...heeee.

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Re: :\ sorry, not your favourites. i also didn't manage to use the actual line. anamuan June 5 2008, 17:51:57 UTC
because he's an adorable little eleven year-old who's having ridiculous panic moments.

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i can't believe this happened. I hope you're happy. D: anamuan June 6 2008, 08:57:49 UTC
So Yamapi wondered and worried and waited for two months, and then he overheard some of the older boys talking. It sounded a lot like his tumor, but they didn't seem to be worried about it. Subaru-kun even said it happened to him every night. He seemed to be pleased about it, even though all the boys were talking in those hushed excited tones that meant if they got caught they'd probably get in trouble.

The tone of voice made him wary, but he had to know. Maybe he wasn't dying. Maybe penistumors were normal. Ok, so probably they weren't normal, but it didn't sound like they were completely lethal. Maybe there was a cure, and his mother wouldn't have to cry and he could go on whooping his friends asses in video game format. So he screwed up his courage and asked Takki.

In reflection, that was probably a mistake. The other mistake was asking Takki when Subaru-kun was around. Everyone knew Subaru-kun was a big perv.

The two older boys exchanged a look, and then Subaru-kun started laughing. Yamapi's whole face went hot and he could feel his ears turning red. It really would have been better to die in slow, agonizing silence then endure the no-doubt endless mocking from his sempai. Takki handled it better. After he got bored with poking Subaru-kun's still-laughing form on the ground, Takki said he was going to explain everything to Yamapi, not to worry, and no, he wasn't dying. This gave Yamapi hope.

Until Takki decided that a proper explanation would involve diagrams. When Takki suggested pictures, Subaru-kun decided it was more fun to help than to laugh at Yamapi, or to at least do both.

The explanation took a very long time. The 'diagrams' were poorly drawn and confusing. Subaru-kun's consisted of a (supposedly naked, though Yamapi wasn't sure how you could tell with stick figures) stick figure with a very, very large penis. When Subaru-kun had held it up proudly, Takki said, "They don't get that big, stupid."

Subaru-kun replied, "Maybe yours doesn't."

And then Takki had bellowed and tackled Subaru-kun and the explanation went on hold until Subaru-kun called uncle, and then Takki called uncle, and then one of the managers came to break up the fight. When the manager had found the diagrams, both Takki and Subaru-kun had blamed them on Yamapi. The promised explanation was put on hold indefinitely, until Yamapi stopped being in trouble for being so perverted even though he was so little and cute.

It turned out to be a very long day. The only thing that made it worth it was when Sho-kun pulled him aside as he packed up his stuff at the end of the day, and explained briefly and clearly, that no, Yamapi wasn't dying because the thing with his penis wasn't a tumor; it was an erection, and Yamapi had heard of those before. Yamapi thanked Sho-kun because he hadn't really wanted to lose all his hair and get really skinny, even if the coughing up blood thing would have freaked out all his friends.

Yamapi was really excited about not dying. Until the next day, when he found a stick figure with a giant penis taped to his locker. Yamapi kind of agreed with Takki; he didn't think they really ever did get that big.

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Re: i can't believe this happened. I hope you're happy. D: cynicalism June 6 2008, 09:05:39 UTC
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA I AM DYING. SO HARD---AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA.

I LOVE YOU? AND I LOVE THAT I'M ACTUALLY AWAKE FOR THIS RIGHT NOW. ROFLLL. :DYING:

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Re: i can't believe this happened. I hope you're happy. D: anamuan June 6 2008, 17:09:16 UTC
*sigh*
Yay! I'm glad you enjoyed this at 5 in the morning! I hope you enjoy it still once you're awake~

noooo if i'd thought you were still up, i'd have stuck around to wait for a response. *pouts*

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Re: i can't believe this happened. I hope you're happy. D: cynicalism June 6 2008, 17:28:38 UTC
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

^does that answer that?

Also, LOL yeah. My sleeping pattern is retarded now so I went to bed at like 6 watching Greek. :LAME:

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Re: i can't believe this happened. I hope you're happy. D: anamuan June 6 2008, 17:41:51 UTC
yes, i think i have my answer. ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; back. ^_^)v

I am never going to get back onto a human schedule. If I ever get a job interview and they schedule it in the morning, I'm going to come in and they'll think they're trying to hire a zombie.

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