December
Officially 3 months into my job. It seems as if this 3 mths suddenly took a toll on me and bff colleague. Monday seems to drag on forever and Tuesday seems like a whole week has passed. She's been questioning if she's rly doing what she wants and it's been causing me to think twice abt what I want too.
Ok i think im pmsing now and feeling incredibly nostalgic and emo. Im wondering what Im doing with my life at the moment. This sick cycle of going to the office, doing random stuff, commuting back home, exercising, or doing nothing in bed with the excuse of being tired. It's like im letting the life seep out of me, letting life slip away. What happened to living life on the edge, fighting for what you love, feeling that rush of adrenaline and getting choked up by the beauty of nature and life.
I dont doubt that im still happy now. I feel fortunate for not being sucked into the rat race, not having to sell my soul to work. Able to meet friends whenever i want. But i always feel as if my youth is slipping away. I want to feel unbridled joy. Like everyday is a WOW day.
All my biz friends often think of me in awe as Im always able to do whatever I want. Like things come easily my way in sch and in my work. Go on many trips, go dive, etc. Perhaps true and im grateful for this.
Before this post gets too pointless, I guess its coz I feel like I might get bored/jaded soon as I often do. I just want to remind myself to hold on to life and what it has to offer. To not fall into a rut. To keep chasing those highs.