on unworking
I feel caught between a rock and the proverbial hard place.
I need to work. I know I need to work. And I want to work. But I want to do something I like, not just something to pay the bills. I figure I've earned it, no? I have worked enough McJobs just to bring in money; I'm tired of doing that. In fact, the last three or four jobs I've had have been just that -- stopgaps. That includes the 18+ months I spent at $ISP-TYPE-COMPANY.
Last December, I had one temporary assignment doing graphic work in far north Austin. I got up in the morning with a smile on my face (as much as I ever do when I'm getting up early), I drove to work, I left when done and not before, happy to come back and do it again the next day. I was doing what I wanted to do.
To be honest, I don't care much about the specific design-related thing I'm doing. At the job above I was creating web banners at ridiculously-difficult-to-work-with sizes (770 x 130, if I recall correctly). I have done things from desktop publishing to font work to catalog design.
The job I just came off of -- very low stress, which was good; very dull and boring, which was bad. Plus which it had to do with medical billing, which I not only do not care about, but is pretty much useless for any work I might do later in life.
I'm not getting any younger. I need to do design work now. I am tired of waiting around, I am tired of taking something just to have it while in my free time I pursue what I "really want to do." It doesn't work out that way. Due to ... well, due to the way I am, I need my downtime, I need my activities which relieve stress.
But then -- lack of formal training, lack of portfolio, being shortchanged in the ambition and motivation departments.
I have no idea what to do. If anyone has any ideas -- please speak up.
I need to work. I know I need to work. And I want to work. But I want to do something I like, not just something to pay the bills. I figure I've earned it, no? I have worked enough McJobs just to bring in money; I'm tired of doing that. In fact, the last three or four jobs I've had have been just that -- stopgaps. That includes the 18+ months I spent at $ISP-TYPE-COMPANY.
Last December, I had one temporary assignment doing graphic work in far north Austin. I got up in the morning with a smile on my face (as much as I ever do when I'm getting up early), I drove to work, I left when done and not before, happy to come back and do it again the next day. I was doing what I wanted to do.
To be honest, I don't care much about the specific design-related thing I'm doing. At the job above I was creating web banners at ridiculously-difficult-to-work-with sizes (770 x 130, if I recall correctly). I have done things from desktop publishing to font work to catalog design.
The job I just came off of -- very low stress, which was good; very dull and boring, which was bad. Plus which it had to do with medical billing, which I not only do not care about, but is pretty much useless for any work I might do later in life.
I'm not getting any younger. I need to do design work now. I am tired of waiting around, I am tired of taking something just to have it while in my free time I pursue what I "really want to do." It doesn't work out that way. Due to ... well, due to the way I am, I need my downtime, I need my activities which relieve stress.
But then -- lack of formal training, lack of portfolio, being shortchanged in the ambition and motivation departments.
I have no idea what to do. If anyone has any ideas -- please speak up.