LJ Idol 04.05, "Sexual Ethics and Me"

[anamacha]

Everything I know about sex I learned in the back of a '57 Chevy pickup. Or the woods next to the Boys' Club. Or from Jamie Pencildick who said he fucked the cat. Never did believe that heinous claim. Later he told me he was gay -- not that that matters. But that claim always did hang in fetid air between us. And he did teach me how to

Comments

[miintikwa]

*hug*

[anamacha]

heh, thanks darlin'. What was that for?

[miintikwa]

Because I understand far too well what you speak of. ;) Roman Catholic, here, too.

[anamacha]

HA! wow, I had no idea. You hide it well ;)

[miintikwa]

I went through a lot as a child, with the experimentalism and such-- I had it a little easier, I think, in that my Mom was a nurse, so she did a lot of clinical explaining-- I knew all the mechanics of sex, and the clinical names for things...

...but masturbation was a NO NO, and I got spanked with a wooden spoon too for it more than once.

Still, I think that the things that happened to me with the abusive ex, and the subsequent recovery things I went through helped me through the worst of my walls. Not that I would recommend THAT for a fix, but it did help.

[anamacha]

at least you had the explaining of the plumbing -- what little I got was in school. NOTHING from parentals. Not the way it should be, to be sure, but there you go.

Certainly not that I'm glad you had an abusive ex (certainly not!) but I am glad you've been able to break down your walls. Me, not so much :)

[miintikwa]

*nod* I agree-- but at the same point in time, SUCH a clinical explaination made me not realize the true romance that could be involved in sex until much, much later in life. For me, sex was exercise, and I was far too free with it for a long time. It made it easy for the abusive ex to get into my head and heart, and take advantage of me. And while I think it helped with my recovery at first, it also screwed with my head for a while.

It's only been in the last 10 years or so that I've really gotten a good grip on what sex and love really ARE and really should be. But then again, I suppose it's something that can take a lifetime for some people, so perhaps I'm lucky. :)

[anamacha]

right -- better late than never, and all that. At least you learned the lesson, instead of never having done so.

and ten years ago ... so soon! You are lucky.

[miintikwa]

Abusive ex crap= 1993-94

1998 is when I *started* recovering. 2001 is when C and I started working on it more in depth, and over the last 7 years I have really gotten a lot better. :)