LJIdol 4.02: What terrifies me

[anamacha]

Twenty-three years ago I stared Death in the eye, and I won. What else can possibly scare me?

Indeed, I am hard pressed to think of a single thing that truly produces fear in me. There's plenty of things I don't like and don't want to consider the possibility of -- cockroaches, being homeless, hard drive failure, never seeing the ocean again,

Comments

[mme_furiosa]

Oof! This is very honest, and sad. I find happiness elusive until I go looking for it. It is rarely as hidden as I imagine it to be.

[anamacha]

There are things that one can do to bring happiness into one's life -- but as I said in the entry, so many of those seem external, layers on top, and not an actual core happiness.

Thanks for your comment.

[mme_furiosa]

Exactly! I don't think happiness is "out there." I think it is inside us. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I misplace the key to the door, but I rarely think it is gone for good.

[anamacha]

oh, agreed. It IS within us. I just haven't found that place where it lives.

It's not GONE; I CAN be happy; I even am from time to time. But it just seems so ... ephemeral.

[xo_kizzy_xo]

I couldn't put it better myself.