Greetings from Planet Blarg ...
... wish you were here!
I would post ... but it would just be more bitching and whining about shit. So no post. Instead, a list of shit that's awry right now:
- job dissatisfaction
- shitty call observe (what the fuck do you mean, I didn't generate a ticket? bullshit!)
- general feeling of I-hit-the-glass-ceiling-and-can't-go-anywhere-else
- I missed the "Quality Club" lunch this past Friday, held at my favorite restaurant.
& in general, I don't think I'm happy. I'm not sure I know what it will take for me to actually be happy. I'm not sure it's a brain-chemical thing; I mean, sometimes it is, but right now it doesn't feel like it. I took some herbal anti-depressants both last night & this morning; usually they work pretty well, but now ... not so much.
So. That said, this marks another day in the ongoing struggle against depression and unhappiness. I wonder if I ever will be, and what it might take to do so. So for now ... status quo.
I hate to admit that. But that's what it's been for quite a while.
In other news, I promised deyaniera a review of Gudang Garam clove smokes. I picked up a pack of the Surya variety this weekend (Thursday and Friday for me, currently) and I find that they're okay. They're lighter than Djarum Blacks, and with a less intense flavor. They don't "crackle" as much as other cloves I've had, though they are definitely cloves.
I would post ... but it would just be more bitching and whining about shit. So no post. Instead, a list of shit that's awry right now:
- job dissatisfaction
- shitty call observe (what the fuck do you mean, I didn't generate a ticket? bullshit!)
- general feeling of I-hit-the-glass-ceiling-and-can't-go-anywhere-else
- I missed the "Quality Club" lunch this past Friday, held at my favorite restaurant.
& in general, I don't think I'm happy. I'm not sure I know what it will take for me to actually be happy. I'm not sure it's a brain-chemical thing; I mean, sometimes it is, but right now it doesn't feel like it. I took some herbal anti-depressants both last night & this morning; usually they work pretty well, but now ... not so much.
So. That said, this marks another day in the ongoing struggle against depression and unhappiness. I wonder if I ever will be, and what it might take to do so. So for now ... status quo.
I hate to admit that. But that's what it's been for quite a while.
In other news, I promised deyaniera a review of Gudang Garam clove smokes. I picked up a pack of the Surya variety this weekend (Thursday and Friday for me, currently) and I find that they're okay. They're lighter than Djarum Blacks, and with a less intense flavor. They don't "crackle" as much as other cloves I've had, though they are definitely cloves.