on belonging.

[anamacha]

I'm almost scared to write. I mean, I work in a call center. There's always the spectre of The Next Call hanging over my head. Thankfully I've been moved to a morning shift (0700 - 1600 for the curious) and that is currently far less busy than my previous 2d shift (that was 1530 - 0030). And I get to see my daughter more now, so it's good all '

Comments

[amaliadubois]

but it doesn't have anything to do with my religion. i don't fit in at all in church. or with the people there. i think its more about starting to draw a line between preconceived notions of how life should be and what i 'should' be doing vs. who am i really and what things make me happy to be alive. i think with 4 kids and thinking the house has to be clean and all these certain ducks need be in a row that i didn't know who i was and i didn't even know what made me happy. i used to think art would be a vain waste of time, now i realize its who i am. i allowed myself the adventure to dig into the sca for a while...
i'm guessing from your reaction that our problems must not have been similar and you already know what makes you happy but its something else you must tackle?
i do believe in all things divine too so i am surprised you say you don't believe in anything - that is something! i am catholic because i feel most comfortable with that religion i suppose? but i am pretty much in the grey area deep down. right now i'm reading Edgar Cayce and i likes him lots :)

[anamacha]

it's not that I don't believe in anything -- I just don't subscribe to any organised religion, because those seem to be largely predicated on the existence of a being that one is suposed to have FAITH in. Faith -- the belief in something that cannot be percieved -- was never my strong suit.

It just doesn't make sense to me to go to confession and such things, when you don't have the underlying base of belief. I mean, I was raised that way, I did go to confession and whatnot, but I never fel a sense of absolution and whatnot. Now it makes no sense to me because confession seems like a mechanism useful for allowing one to not take personal responsibility for one's actions.

Anyway.

[amaliadubois]

it so interesting how people are you know - cause see i was raised with no religion and always sensed there was a divine and felt that i must find it. and for me in confession its like a window opens in heaven to let healing and blessings flow forth into my life. but i also all my life feel like i have heard the morality and voice of 'god' in reading fantasy novels and such the church might disprove of :)

i think i know what you mean by faith now - and i don't place my faith in 'the church' but i see it as a way to God, an instrument and blessed by Him. but i have been led here. i will not argue with a buddhist or pagan and tell him he has to become catholic, but rather seek to learn what God/the divine has taught him through his 'religion' or practice or...whatever.

i don't believe in a 'light and fluffy god' who makes everything right and candyland so to speak... when we go to heaven we'll get everything we ever wanted. if that is the faith you talk of then i also am faithless.