introspection
OK, question.
Why do I avoid things that make me feel good? That seems ridiculous.
Some things that make me feel good (not an all-inclusive list, btw):
loud music -- listening to some right now, on break at work. I love it! But generally -- I avoid it.
drawing -- I drew a little the other night, in my new art space. Felt great -- but do I do it? No. Not much these days, anyway.
exercise -- For a week I did this every night after work. Felt wonderful afterwards; the endorphin rush is not a myth. But this week I've talked myself out of it; no exercise bag, no clothes, bla bla. Why? It should be a small matter to put this together.
writing -- nothing. I write tickets, I write correspondence, I write the occasional LJ entry. Other than that -- zip.
introspection -- well, I'm starting this again.
learning things -- I've stopped, for the most part. Don't have time, etc.
Other things -- reading tarot cards, playing with my keyboard (music), doing digital manipulations. Creating things. Even when I'm eating, I will see some particlarly succulent bite and not eat it, telling myself I am "teaching myself to delay gratification."
I've been told that all my life -- that I am impatient, that I don't know how to delay my own gratification. I have to have things nownownow. And I've proved those people wrong. I am capable of doing it.
And now I'm wondering if it's possible that I've done that so much as to sabotage myself. This is something else that I do -- subject for a different entry.
Do any of the you avoid things you enjoy?
Why do I avoid things that make me feel good? That seems ridiculous.
Some things that make me feel good (not an all-inclusive list, btw):
loud music -- listening to some right now, on break at work. I love it! But generally -- I avoid it.
drawing -- I drew a little the other night, in my new art space. Felt great -- but do I do it? No. Not much these days, anyway.
exercise -- For a week I did this every night after work. Felt wonderful afterwards; the endorphin rush is not a myth. But this week I've talked myself out of it; no exercise bag, no clothes, bla bla. Why? It should be a small matter to put this together.
writing -- nothing. I write tickets, I write correspondence, I write the occasional LJ entry. Other than that -- zip.
introspection -- well, I'm starting this again.
learning things -- I've stopped, for the most part. Don't have time, etc.
Other things -- reading tarot cards, playing with my keyboard (music), doing digital manipulations. Creating things. Even when I'm eating, I will see some particlarly succulent bite and not eat it, telling myself I am "teaching myself to delay gratification."
I've been told that all my life -- that I am impatient, that I don't know how to delay my own gratification. I have to have things nownownow. And I've proved those people wrong. I am capable of doing it.
And now I'm wondering if it's possible that I've done that so much as to sabotage myself. This is something else that I do -- subject for a different entry.
Do any of the you avoid things you enjoy?