Response to a question...
TEN random things about me -
1. I am 16
2. I am cynical
3. I am essentially misanthropic
4. I am fascist
5. I am not a Nazi
6. I am not racist
7. I am, apparently unique. Though I don't try to be unique, nor do I see the point in trying to be.
8. I am, myself, and I do not bend myself to fit an image.
9. I have no problem with cliques, or identifying/classifying myself with a particular group.
10. I hate most music.
NINE ways to win my heart -
1. Intelligence
2. Shared interest in music
3. Socio-political open-mindedness
4. Cynicality
5. Don't stretch yourself to meet an image, or what you wish to project. Look as you will, not as we will.
6. If you're an anarchist, be prepared to explain why.
7. Do not protest for the sake of protest.
8. Don't wear fur, or copious amounts of leather, unless it was free.
9. Have impeccable grammar.
EIGHT of my favorite movies -
1. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
2. Tron
3. Alien vs. Predator
4. Resident Evil 2
5. Wargames
6. U571
7. Saving Private Ryan
8. Fightclub (soon to be)
SEVEN things that annoy me -
1. Insincere people
2. Those too simple to think outside of the television set
3. Stark materialism
4. People who define happiness by what they have, or how many people they've slept with
5. Cigarette smoke
6. Pseudo-intellectuals
7. "Gangstas"
SIX things I wanna do before I die -
1. Live in Germany
2. Tour Europe with Velvet Acid Christ
3. Get married to a goth girl, have a goth son.
4. Start a dance club in germany.
5. Try acid
6. Learn every major language
FIVE things I am afraid of -
1. Spiders
2. Rejection
3. Contempt
4. Uncertainty
5. Heights
FOUR of my favorite items in my room -
Although I don't really have a room...
1. My computer
2. My bed
3. My blankies
4. My keyboard (that isn't here right now)
THREE things I do everyday -
1. Shower
2. Listen to Velvet Acid Christ
3. Sing
TWO things I want to do right now -
1. Cuddle
2. Fall asleep with someone in my arms
ONE person I want to see right now -
1. Ashley, or Patty, or Shannon, or BJ, or Emily, or Erin, or Mike, or James, or Ziggie
Q:Why are you so Emo?
A:Not emo! Rivet!
and it's a long and complicated story;
because I have ample free-time. Here it is:
This started when I moved from Lebanon Maine to Bangor, because my mom met some guy. She uprooted our lives for a guy I met the weekend before we moved.
Put it in perspective
I've always been rediculously introverted, mostly because my parents (i.e. my mother) kept me decidedly away from my peers. Not to mention the fact that I've always been much more intelligent than my peers, which didn't help the alienation and social awkwardness I was already developing at such a young age. Also, a much more sensitive topic... I've always been more than a little fucked in the head because I was sexually molested by my favorite babysitter's brother, causing mass confusion, doubts, and all kinds of shit I won't get into here. Anyways; when I moved here I was still very introverted, shy to all but close friends and decidedly straight-edge. Then I met Mike in AP Computer Science, and that's the beginning of my decline into depression, and my rise into social acceptance and extroverted tendencies. He introduced me to people, outside of a couple people I met on my own online (where I am much more comfortable, I can elaborate my feelings much more efficiently without saying something stupid, or whatever) and from the internet I met BJ (of whom I lost my virginity and my heart) and Eric. I met Eric through somone in Saco that I met online as well. She was the goddess that introduced me to Industrial music, driving my rise of rivet-dom. Before that I was just listening to trance and Rammstein. Anyways, Eric and I got along famously, he got me into a lot of heavier music, took me to shows and (much later) got me into DDR. Mike was always a good egg, he was a good friend and was amusing during the days when AP CS consisted of lectures I already knew. Not a whole lot went down, except for my relationship with BJ which ended abruptly when she broke it off for reasons that are still slightly unclear (save the distance thing). The summer passed, I had a fling with a girl named Stephanie, that ended badly (the only relationship where I've broken it off) when she was angry instead of remorseful when I broke it off. Psycho bitch. Not too far after I started dating a girl named Linden, who was a god send. God's gift to humanity, she was sweet, sincere and adorable. She was the angel on my shoulder, poking me away from the temptations that had started springing up on the other shoulder. Drugs, pot, CCC's (DxM), hard liquor (vodka!). She steered me in the right direction. Unfortunately, the bliss we shared didn't last forever. I had changed a lot by now. I was no longer the sweet innocent boy from little Lebanon, Maine. I had changed into something else, bred from falling in with what I had thought, and still think... really, to be the right crowd. At this point, I was homeless. I left home because I couldn't deal with it anymore, my mother was far too restricting, and unsupporting of my newfound budding social life. I wanted to go to parties, I wanted to have fun and make more friends. I wanted to stay out past 9, was that so much to ask? I actually had a bed time, off the computer at 9, in bed lights out at 10:30. Ha. 16 years old. So I left, I had had a LAN party the weekend before, an amazing one, that is a legend to this day. There was 16 people in my small apartment at the height of the party, that lasted from friday night to sunday morning. There was little sleep needless to say. They didn't know, they were out, down to new hampshire. All they knew is I had Mike and Eric over, and was going to have a few friends over. Well, we needed another Ethernet card, so Mike looked at the back of a computer in my parents room (not their primary computer mind you, one they haven't used in years) that sat upon a pile of laundry and they didn't turn it back around. So they flipped. Rick (my mother's boyfriend, how fucking creepy is that?) had an aneurism, he started yelling, hitting things and threw his bass across the room. I was done, so when they left for work I left. I wasn't dealing with that shit anymore. I set out for Erin's house, who lives very close by, and I hung out there for a while. Then her father took me to YA (Youth Adelantando, a youth community action group thing) to find mike. This was fateful, because I met Ziggie there (who was to become my guitarist and good friend), because they had all left to go to Dysarts. It wouldn't have mattered had I gone, I was broke. I spent the next few weeks at Mike's house, we grew much closer and all was well. I was still in school, and I was getting along fine. Maintaining my GPA was hard living with my best friend, but it was attainable. Then things went down hill, I couldn't stay at Mike's anymore, his mother was renting month to month and was afraid her asshole land lord was going to evict them. He was looking for any excuse. So I spent the next couple weeks couch hopping, it was fun, for a while. Until I started getting really depressed. There are times, as anyone who has been in my situation can attest to, where you need to stop partying. You need to calm down for a few days, where you need to recharge your batteries and reflect, commesurate, and heal yourself. I didn't have those opportunities. I didn't have a place of my own, I had lost my job, downsized as a result of overhiring, my mohawk was the scapegoat, even though I was one of the best employees there, although I was actively searching for a place, and for a job. I just couldn't get hired. I ended up living at "the apartment", which was fun but awkward. I had gotten in because I promised Hannah a pleather bikini, which turned out really well, even though various events occured preventing it from ever materializing. Someday I'll find my pleather and make it for her. We had a lot of fun. This went down hill when I had second thoughts about being out of the house. Although I essentially lived there, I was never fulling comfortable, if you know what I mean. I had to go, it was decided, and so I came back home. The rules were/are much more lax now, and breathable. I am back in school, although it is not highschool. It wasn't a good experience anyways, so I joined Job Corps. A vocational dormatory kind of deal. It's essentially a free-ride. They pay for absolutely every aspect of life, including my first year of college, my drivers license and food... etc. I hope to move in to the dormatories soon, unless I can get a job and an apartment. So that's it, that's my life for the past year. A lot has been left out, that's too sensitive to say. My inner thoughts and such... These are strictly general events. I don't really expect anyone to read this, but it best answers that question.
And on that note;
I adopted a cute lil' gothy fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!