three legged machines, they haunt my dreams
i dont even know were to start. i just hope to god things start getting better. they were for a bit. i was still kinda crazy but at least i had a tiny grip on things. at least i was moving forward, if slowly. now, dead stop. no, not even. backwards, at a very high speed.
well, im going to be going to ohlone. im sitting in on classes after spring break. my mom is helping pay for the classes and books so thats exciting.
im trying to get a better job. i sent my resume to Avalon Bay communities. Thats were troy's mom works. im hoping i could get a job at the one in dublin, so i can get a discount on an apartment and be able to move out next month. then i will live in dublin, which would be really nice. a guy i used to work with at apple needs a roomate soon so that could possibly work out really well.
someone went through the amazing trouble to drag my name through the mud. no, not someone. you. i know you did it. i hate that i feel such hatred for someone (or more than one person) but i do. i have proof. at least i have proof. i need to be vindicated so that my life isnt completely ruined. and its not like you got me good or anything, you caused alot of suffering for someone that wasnt even involved. careless. i hate that she had to cry again. i hate that i cant be trusted.
this is why its so hard to think of myself as someone with a future or someone who can rise above and be a better person and live a good life and be someone that people can be proud of.
there is one thing in life that i really really want and there are things in life that are trying really hard to keep it from me.
i am a different person. i am a different person. i am a different person. i am a different person. i am a different person. i am a different person. i am a different person.
my 21st birthday has officially been the darkest birthday of my life. i feel like im being lowered into the pits of hell, getting darker and darker. i havent been happy for a long time now. i hope summer can come wash this all away. i hope summer brings change.
well, im going to be going to ohlone. im sitting in on classes after spring break. my mom is helping pay for the classes and books so thats exciting.
im trying to get a better job. i sent my resume to Avalon Bay communities. Thats were troy's mom works. im hoping i could get a job at the one in dublin, so i can get a discount on an apartment and be able to move out next month. then i will live in dublin, which would be really nice. a guy i used to work with at apple needs a roomate soon so that could possibly work out really well.
someone went through the amazing trouble to drag my name through the mud. no, not someone. you. i know you did it. i hate that i feel such hatred for someone (or more than one person) but i do. i have proof. at least i have proof. i need to be vindicated so that my life isnt completely ruined. and its not like you got me good or anything, you caused alot of suffering for someone that wasnt even involved. careless. i hate that she had to cry again. i hate that i cant be trusted.
this is why its so hard to think of myself as someone with a future or someone who can rise above and be a better person and live a good life and be someone that people can be proud of.
there is one thing in life that i really really want and there are things in life that are trying really hard to keep it from me.
i am a different person. i am a different person. i am a different person. i am a different person. i am a different person. i am a different person. i am a different person.
my 21st birthday has officially been the darkest birthday of my life. i feel like im being lowered into the pits of hell, getting darker and darker. i havent been happy for a long time now. i hope summer can come wash this all away. i hope summer brings change.