I've been working on this for a while...

[analineblue]

...and here's the first chapter... :)

Title: Pulse
Author: analine
Pairing: TutixNagayan
Word Count: 7,637
Chapter: 1/?
Warnings: yaoi...angst?
Rating: PG-13 for now (basically just for situations involving alcohol and brief language)
Notes: This takes place sometime in the early spring, a few months after the end of the 4th musical. I expect

Comments

[kiku_kitten]

That... uwa wow! So did dude slip something into the sake or is it just like me and Vodka? A no mixer. Fantastic opening! Uwa wow! *giggles* Can't wait to read the next part. Pwease? NOW! *glower pout*

[crayonsun]

You used 'Pulse'! XD

I really, really loved this... there were so many parts I like I can't really quote one.

The memories lingered there, in a far corner of Nagayan’s mind where he had left them a while ago. There were touches and glances…indescribable sensations that he revisited more often than he wanted to admit, maybe simply because they hadn’t been replaced by other experiences yet.

Well, maybe I can. I liked these lines for some reason... and he needs to replace them with other experiences with Tuti *nods* Also, the way Nagayan felt about the musicals seemed realistic... and in the bar... I know I can easily feel left out like that when (pretty rarely) I go out in a group. And the whole morning was just wonderful (fic!Nagayan would probably disagree, but I liked the serious Tuti and their interaction and everything).

But yeah, love it, thanks for posting! Really curious about the next part and Tuti's POV. ^__________^

[analineblue]

I did use Pulse... *laughs* XD

I'm glad you liked those lines you pointed out, I was worried actually, that specifically there he would seem OOC? But I'm glad that it seemed realistic, and also that the his feelings about the musicals seemed that way too. ^_^

Anyway, thanks for reading... I'm glad you liked it! :)

[lizstarsky]

*gasp* Wow, this was excellent!! *in awe* Not only is the writing beautifully descriptive and smooth, but there's such a sense of tension--of, "Gah, what's gonna happen next??"--that I was literally on the edge of my seat as I was reading, leaning so close to the monitor that I probably damaged my retinas. :P But seriously, I really loved reading this! The progression of the plot feels very natural, not to mention realistic, and I think Tuti and Nagayan are exceptionally in-character

[analineblue]

Nya thank you!! :) In character is good, natural progression of plot is good, thanks for saying so... ^_^

And now let me ask you something because several people have asked now...about Nagayan being so sick? Really, I was just thinking along the lines of the fact that he has a low tolerance, and drank way too much, and was pretty close to having alcohol poisoning, as the reason for the reaction his body was experiencing. I really was not entertaining the thought that anyone had slipped anything into his drink. But... well, now I'm just wondering because people brought have brought that up. ^_^ What do you think? Is it believable that he would be so sick without that coming into play? Just curious as to your thoughts on that. :) And definately there are things that Nagayan doesn't remember, and that was one reason why I really wanted to have the Tuti chapter next, to sort of fill in some of those gaps. (I was going back and forth about whether or not I should have Tuti's POV at all, but then decided it seemed necessary

[lizstarsky]

I actually originally thought exactly what you just said--that he just drank too much, which I think is neatly explained in his later thoughts about how he was subconsciously trying to get Tuti's attention, but took it a bit too far. But then I scrolled down and read kiku_kitten's comment, and I thought, AHHH!! That's right! There was that creepy guy there who bought him a drink! ...but I think that even though that seems like a possible explanation, it doesn't have to be the explanation, and would probably bring way too many complications into the story, anyway. I'd say you're probably best going with your original plans for it. ...which is just my humble opinion, but-of-course, but yeah. *nod*

...

...so, is chapter two ready yet?? :P

[analineblue]

Oh ok... :) *wipes brow* Because I was talking to kiku_kitten about it and she also thought it was ok my way, once I explained, but then I was kind of like - crap! hehe... And yeah, I think mostly, I didn't want to turn the focus of the story in that direction, though I could see that, for sure. *nods*

And...um...chaper two... no? Nya, I forgot about how you always update so so so quick! Nya... I definately can't be as fast as you, but... hopefully I'll be fast enough so I don't dissappoint anyone. ^_^

And hmm... kooriyoukai just pointed me in your direction on IM, so... I may pop up and say hi, if you don't mind? ^__^

[annaoni]

That was just beautiful. You really captured the mood of the song, too. I really loved the way their relationship had different layers, and it wasn't just about the usual "I like him - but does he like me" -angst.

The whole story had such great scenes, lines and descriptions, that you could really get into it and it felt... well, real. And the way you build up a story is amazing. The only thing that sucks, is that I now have loads of questions and a craving for more, so waiting for the second chapter is really going to kill me. ^_^

[analineblue]

I thought the song fit surprisingly well with the mood... So, I'm glad you agree... ^_^

I'm really glad you enjoyed it too, and that it felt real. *nods* Definately something I was going for... :)

I'll try to have chapter two ready really soon... *nervous* hehe... Nah, not really, I have it almost done already, just have to edit... and edit... and maybe edit some more? lol... ^_^

[xxalormaixx]

waaaai!! **glomps you** hehe you posted it!! ah i'm so happy! hehe ^____^

i feel like i'm repeating myself when i say that i absolutly LOVE it!! but now i think that i love it even more because you posted it, and now you can get other people's opinions of how brilliant it is! ^_^ hehe

[analineblue]

*snuggles you* I'm glad you liked my posted version too... I think I changed some things, probably not a lot though... ^__^

Brownies are in the oven... XD