An all seasons QUEER AS FOLK picspam
Hi... this is my first attempt for a picspam from a TV show. The subject? QUEER AS FOLK. I'd like to warn you first: I have NO SKILLS WHATSOEVER USING PHOTOSHOP, so there's no extra colouring on the photos. So, this will be just the screencaps and some dialogues. Sorry.
I wanted to choose two episodes (and/or scenes) from each season but, let's face it, if you've watched the show, you know that's impossible... BUT I don't want a livejournal fail, so I'm not gonna post all my choices... Maybe I'll do an encore later (assuming you all liked what I've done here) There's no particular order in my choices, just chronological (meaning, from S01 to S05) So, here it is, my FIRST QUEER AS FOLK PICSPAM. I hope you like it and enjoy!
WARNING: IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE SHOW, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS AHEAD.
SEASON 01
Pilot (episode #1) - THEY MEET
- Michael (narrating): And that's when it happened. When he came along.
- Brian: How's it going? Had a busy night?
- Justin: Just. checking out the bars, you know? Boytoy, Meathook...
- Brian: The Meathook. Really? So you're into leather?
- Justin: Sure.
- Brian: Where you headed?
- Justin: No place special.
- Brian: I can change that.
- Emmett: Hey! Hey! What about us?
- Brian: You can ride with Ted. [drives away]
- Ted: Thanks a lot.
- Michael: Asshole!
Pilot (episode #1) - FIRST KISS
- Brian: Coming in?
- Justin: Huh? Oh, yeah.
- Brian: Shut the door.
- Justin: This is a... Really nice place. I like your kitchen.
- Brian: Do you like Special K? [grins and takes his shoes off]
- Justin: It's okay. I like Cheerios better.
- Brian: I don't mean the kind you eat with bananas. My disco-pharmacologist cooks this up for me.
- Justin: I'm allergic to a lot of drugs. The doctor gave me penicillin once, nearly killed me. And... Tylenol.
- Brian: Tylenol? No one's allergic to Tylenol. Tylenol's what they give you when you're allergic to everything else. [unbuttons his pants in one quick motion]
- Justin: Oh... Well, codeine. Codeine's the worst. [sound of Brian's pants hitting the floor] Like I get diarrhea and start vomiting uncontrollably at the same time.
- Brian: Well, we'll make sure and keep that one on the top shelf. Out of reach. [bends over to slide his underwear off] So... Are you coming or going? Or coming and then going? Or coming and staying?
Episode #7 - YOUR QUEER SON
- Craig: Where are you going?
- Justin: Out.
- Craig: No, you're not leaving this house.
- Justin: What, so now I'm a prisoner?
- Craig: I heard what happened at school, Justin, yesterday. You're principal called.
- Justin: So? (he walks up to his father)
- Craig: So? So now you're flaunting yourself in front of everyone?
- Justin: I was not flaunting myself, dad. Besides, Chris Hobbs is the one who started it.
- Craig: You know, I don't care who started it. You're not going back there. (he starts walking inside)
- Jennifer: What?
- Craig: We're sending him away to school. It's time you learned some discipline. How to be a man.
- Justin: (smiles) I know all about discipline. And you should see me take it like a man. (Craig slaps Justin)
- Jennifer: (gasps) Craig! (she goes to Justin)
- Justin: It's all right, mom. It didn't hurt. If you want to hit me, go right ahead. Only I'm not gonna cry like some little faggot. And if you want to send me away, that's all right, too. 'Cause I bet more butt-fucking goes on in boarding school than in the back room of Babylon. But whatever you do, it's not gonna matter...'cause I'll still be your queer son.
Episode #19 - SO LONG JACK. YOU SON OF A BITCH
- Michael: What are you doin'? C'mon, it's cold!
- Brian: Patient, young fellow. Patient.
- Michael: Now what?
Brian yanks the ball out and stands in the middle of the street. He throws the ball down the street, and it rolls into the darkness, disappearing forever. He lifts his arms in triumph once again.
- Brian: So long, Jack! You son of a bitch.
Episode #22 - SAVE THE LAST DANCE FOR ME
- Justin: I thought you said you wouldn't be caught dead in a room full of eighteen-year-olds.
- Brian: I thought I'd recapture my lost youth. (Turns to Daphne) You look hot, Daphne. (Kisses the side of her face as she giggles) I'd fuck you.
- Daphne: Uh, you-you, too, Brian.
- Brian: Mind if I borrow your date?
- Daphne: (mouths) No.
[She walks off as Brian leads Justin onto the middle of the dance floor where they dance to "Ben E. King and The Drifters - Save the Last Dance." Everyone stops dancing to watch them. Chrisis obviously not pleased. Brian and Justin are start dancing while everyone watches. Justin takes off Brian's jacket and tosses it to Daphne. They continue some more fancy moves and dips and spins and then they kiss in front of everyone while Brian twirls Justin. Chris looks pissed as he watches. Daphne smiles as they keep kissing and finally they run off to the side when they're done, leaving the prom.]
Episode #22 - RIDICULOUSLY ROMANTIC
- Justin: Did you see their faces?
- Brian: Yeah. We gave them a prom they'll never forget.
- Justin: Me, neither. It's the best night of my life.
- Brian: Even if it was ridiculously romantic. Later.
- Justin: Later.
[Justin laughs and starts walking away while Brian gets in the jeep. He looks through the review mirror, smiling until he sees Chris come up behind Justin, carrying a baseball bat. He opens the door and gets out of the jeep]
- Brian: Justin!
[Justin turns around, smiling, as Chris bashes him in the head. Brian runs towards them and pushes Chris down, taking the bat and hitting Chris in the guts when he tries to run away. Brian runs over to Justin, who is lying on the ground,and leans over his body]
- Brian: No, no, no, no, no! God!
Episode #22 - SEASON FINALE
Two paramedics open the back doors of an ambulance and pull out the stretcher carrying Justin, his bandaged head and shirt covered in blood, his neck in a brace, hooked up to oxygen. Brian walks out of the ambulance, blood on him as well, holding the blood soaked scarf he had given Justin. He follows the paramedics into the hospital. Brian looks old.
Cut to inside the hospital, in a hallway, where Brian is sitting by himself, the bloody scarf around his neck. Michael walks up, sits down next to him and puts an arm around his shoulders, runs his hand through Brian's hair. Close up shot of Brian, tears streaking his face, blood on his lips.
He closes his eyes, and when he opens them, he imagines himself, Justin and Michael running down the hospital hallway when they where there for Gus's birth. Back to present day, he sits there, more tears running, as Michael tries to comfort him.
Brian just stares straight in front of him as Michael looks back down the hall. Fade out to black.
SEASON 02
Episode #2 - YOU TRIED TO SAVE ME
- Brian: Better now?
- Justin: Mmmh-mmmh.
- Brian: You really freaked me out.
- Justin: You?
- Brian: It was like you got hit all over again.
- Justin: I remembered walking away. And suddenly hearing your voice call my name, to warn me. You never told me about that. You tried to save me.
- Brian: I guess I forgot.
- Justin: It's a good thing one of us remembered.
[They kiss each other. Justin reaches into Brian's shirt and pulls out the scarf.]
- Justin: [whispers] I want you inside me.
- Brian: Are you sure?
- Justin: Yeah. Just... take it easy.
- Brian: Like the first time?
Episode #6 - TELL HIM WHAT YOU COULD NEVER SAY TO MICHAEL
- Debbie: Hasn't the kid been through enough without you causing him more pain?
- Brian: Stay out of it.
- Debbie: The fuck I will!
- Brian: I care about him.
- Debbie: All you care about is...
- Brian: Getting my dick sucked. I think that's been firmly established. Now, can we move on from there?
- Debbie: Look, all I want is to...
- Brian: Interfere?
- Debbie: You can call it whatever the fuck you want. I don't want Justin hurt.
- Brian: Well, that's life, isn't it? Surprise!
- Debbie: You think you got everybody fooled, don't you? Well, not me, honey. I've known you too long and regrettably too well, and no matter how hard you try to deny it, I can tell you care as much about him as he cares about you. Only you haven't got the big, hairy cojones to say it.
- Brian: Oh, well, maybe I could borrow yours.
- Debbie: Well, hey! Whatever it takes to admit that you love him. And I know that you do. Despite all your efforts to never let another heart touch yours. And that's assuming, of course, you have one. That little, persistent kid has somehow gotten in under the wire. And that's what's happened, huh? Admit the truth. You love him, don't you?
- Brian: [sighs; blows]
- Debbie: I thought so. Then tell him. Tell him what you could never say to Michael.
Episode #19 - YOU STINK
- Justin: Jesus, Brian. I thought you were bowling.
- Brian: Game's over.
- Justin: How'd we do?
- Brian: Three cheers to the winners.
- Justin: Way to go!
- Brian: It wasn't us. Where're you going?
- Justin: Take a shower.
- Brian: You sure are taking a lot of showers lately. Come here.
- Justin: Later.
- Brian: Now.
- Justin: Can't we please do this after I shower?
- Brian: I like smelling you. Not soap.
[They start kissing. Pretty passionately. They fall to their knees as they rip off their clothes. Brian's on top of Justin. He swats Justin's hands away from his pants. He does it himself.]
- Brian: You like that?
- Justin: Yes. Why'd you stop? Brian?
- Brian: Go take a shower. You stink.
[Brian walks away. Fade out.]
SEASON 03
Episode #4 - I BELIEVE THIS BELONGS TO YOU
- Justin: I believe this belongs to you.
- Brian: Thanks.
- Justin: Any time. Here.
- Brian: Shouldn't you be getting back to your boyfriend?
- Justin: Yeah.
Episode #7 - MIKEY IS GONNA BE A DADDY
- Brian: That's a Montecristo especial smuggled from Cuba, so stick it in your mouth and suck. If that's any indication of your technique, it's amazing you have a boyfriend.
- Michael: I'm still in shock. We made a baby after just one try.
- Brian: It's fucking depressing, all right. Your sperm actually liked Melanie's eggs. Ugh. Well, I guess there's no accounting for some people's tastes. Easy, Mikey.
- Michael: I don't think I can do it.
- Brian: What?
- Michael: Be responsible for another life.
- Brian: Did I ask you to?
- Michael: Not you, asshole. The kid.
- Brian: Job's done. From here on out, the lezzie's do all the work. All you have to do is show up for birthday parties and the occasional walk in the park.
- Michael: I don't intend to be a drop-in dad like you. I want to be involved, a real father... If I can just figure out how.
- Brian: You're going to be a great dad.
- Michael: What makes you so sure?
- Brian: You raised me, didn't you? Look how I turned out.
Episode #8 - I DECIDED YOU SHOULD TAKE ME BACK
- Justin: Mr. Kinney?
- Brian: Taylor. Come in. Sit down. You wanted to see me?
- Justin: I gave it some thought. I decided you should take me back.
- Brian: Oh?
- Justin: Even though I have made a few mistakes, I think you'd be making an even bigger one not to give me a second chance...
- Brian: I see...
- Justin: 'Cause I now understand what it is you want of me and now I can expect from you.
- Brian: You also understand that you'll be required to work long, hard hours, sometimes deep into the night?
- Justin: It'll be a pleasure to work under you, sir.
- Brian: And you're never to play violin music in my presence again.
- Justin: I promise.
- Brian: Good. Well, then... You can start... Immediately.
Episode #14 - NOW I GUESS I'VE LOST EVERYTHING
- Justin: Jesus Christ, Brian. Now you don't even have a car.
- Brian: Oh, now I guess I've lost everything.
- Justin: Not everything.
SEASON 04
Episode #9 - EAT SOME FUCKING CHICKEN SOUP!
- Brian: I thought I told you to get out.
- Justin: I guess I didn’t hear. You tend to mumble a lot.
[Brian slams his briefcase down on the counter.]
- Justin: You want some soup? It’s Debbie’s home made recipe.
- Brian: No wonder I feel like barfing. Listen to me, you little shit. I don’t want you here.
- Justin: I don’t care what you want.
[Brian grabs him by the arm, but he’s too weak to throw Justin out again.]
- Justin: You’re not getting rid of me!
[They struggle briefly. Brian ends up on the floor.]
- Justin: Shit, are you alright? Tell me you’re alright!
- Brian: (shoves Justin away) I’m alright!
- Justin: You’re not alright.
- Brian: (yells) Then what the hell are you asking me for?
- Justin: So that I can tell you what a mother-fucking piece of shit you are for not telling me! For shutting me out. For thinking that you could handle this on your own. And most of all, for thinking that I would leave you. Why would you think that? Cause you had a ball removed? Because you’re no longer perfect? Well, believe me, Mr. Kinney, that is the least of your imperfections. And if I’d wanted to leave you, I’ve had better reasons. Plenty of ‘em.
- Brian: Maybe you should have.
- Justin: Yeah, maybe you’re right. But I thought we had a commitment. And I plan to stand by it. Now why don’t you get your ass back in bed, you son-of-a-bitch! And eat some fucking chicken soup!
[The fight drains out of Brian. Slowly and painfully, he walks into the bedroom and lies down. Justin follows with the bowl of soup, sitting on the side of the bed.]
Episode #13 - OH, CANADA
- Judge: We are here today to join in matrimony Mr. Michael Novotny and Mr. Benjamin Bruckner.
- Debbie: Christ, this is the last time I’m going to a wedding with two queens.
- Judge: Do you, Michael, promise to love, respect and cherish Ben and be his true and faithful husband?
- Michael: I do.
- Judge: And do you, Ben, promise to love, respect and cherish Michael and be his true and faithful husband?
- Hunter: Say I do, dude.
- Ben: I do.
- Judge: If anyone knows of any reason why these two people should not be joined in marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace.
[Cut to Brian. He opens his mouth.]
- Debbie: You say one word, you're gonna be holding more than your peace.
[He shouts his mouth.]
- Judge: The rings, please. Now by the authority of the Province of Ontario, I pronounce you to be legally married.
- Debbie: I'm not losing a son, huh? I'm gaining a... son.
- Michael: You're next, ma.
Episode #14 - END OF LIBERTY RIDE
- Ben: I still can't get through to them.
- Debbie: I'm starting to get worried. Actually, I started getting worried four hours ago.
- Justin: Maybe we should go out searching.
- Hunter: Look!
[Justin starts to go to Brian.]
- Debbie: No! Let him finish.
- Michael: Come on.
- Brian: I can't.
- Michael: We... we're almost there.
- Brian: Fuck it. Just fuck it.
- Ben: You got it, you got it, you got it.
- Hunter: Come on, you can do it.
- Justin: Come on!
- Ben: You're almost there, almost there.
[Brian is inspired by the vision of Justin - but this time it’s the real thing. All cheers them up. He made it the few foots until the goal line.]
- Hunter: You can do it.
- Debbie: Yes! Sweet.
- Hunter: Way to go.
- Debbie: I was so worried.
- Justin: I could kill you for doing this.
- Brian: Yeah, well, I almost saved you the trouble.
- Hunter: Okay.
- Ben: We thought maybe you went to the hospital.
- Michael: There's no need. Brian's going to be okay.
- Ben: No, no, I didn't mean that. Lindsay called around an hour ago. You're a dad.
- Debbie: I'm a grandma.
- Brian: Way to go, Michael.
- Debbie: I'm a grandma.
- Justin: Nice.
SEASON 05
Episode #7 - YOU INFECTED HIM!
- Brian: Well, Mikey... Congratulations.
- Michael: For what?!
- Brian: You won. To the spoiler goes the victory.
- Michael: I don't know what you're talking about.
- Brian: Of course you don't. No-one plays dewy-eyed innocent better than you. Although, at 34, you're getting a bit long in the tooth for short pants.
- Michael: Speaking of outgrowing your act... Nothing's more pathetic - to use one of your favourite words - than an over-the-hill club boy.
- Brian: You infected him... With your petty bourgeois, mediocre, conformist, assimilationist life! Thanks to you, he's got visions - babies, weddings, white picket fences dancing in his blond little head.
- Michael: And you think I put them there?
- Brian: Before you and your husband tied the noose around your necks, he was perfectly happy! And now he's a defector just like the rest of you!
- Michael: He was never perfectly happy! Waiting for years for you to say "I love you." "You're the only one I want."
- Brian: That's not who I am!
- Michael: Don't we all know?!
- Brian: And now he's here in your house...
- Michael: It's a home.
- Brian: It's a farce! It's a freak show!
- Michael: Call it what you want. I honestly don't care. But he didn't leave because I "infected" him. He left because of you. Who wouldn't?!
Episode #10 - I WAS SO FUCKING SCARED
- Brian: When I heard what happened, I tried to call you on your cell, but... you didn't answer. I was... so fucking scared. All I could think was... "Please don't let anything happen to him." I love you. I love you.
Episode #12 - BRITIN IS OFFICIALLY BORN
- Justin: What are we gonna call it? Mandalay? Xanadu? Wuthering Heights?
- Brian: I'll leave the christening up to you.
- Justin: Brighton!
- Brian: Bri... Tin...!
Episode #13 - WEDDING SUITS
- Brian: Holy shit.
- Justin: What?
- Brian: You look...
- Justin: Good? Bad? Laughable?
- Brian: Beautiful.
- Justin: I do?
- Brian: It's not a question. It's a declaration. So try and be more emphatic when the minister asks you if you want to go through with this.
- Justin: I do.
Episode #13 - HOW THE FUCK DO YOU RETURN A WATER BUFFALO?
- Ted: It's a rehearsal dinner but what's to rehearse? They say, "I do," then they do it.
- Ben: But what do you get the man who's had everyone?
- Lindsay: A water buffalo.
- Debbie: Why the hell would Brian want to fuck that?
- Lindsay: It's to help Cambodian farmers plough their fields and provide milk for their children.
- Jennifer: Well, that is so much more imaginative than another boring old... sterling place setting from Tiffany's.
- Daphne: Justin's already got everything he's ever wanted.
- Carl: I know how it feels.
- Justin: We would like to thank you all for coming to our rehearsal dinner.
- Brian: However, there's nothing to rehearse. The wedding's off.
- Justin: No, it's true. We decided not to get married.
- Debbie: How the fuck do you return a water buffalo?
Episode #13 - GOODBYE; PT.1
- Michael: I love you, honey bun.
- Debbie: I hope everybody peed. Whenever I used to take Michael anywhere, no sooner we'd leave the house than he'd say, "Ma, I gotta tinkle." And I'd say, "why? You couldn't have done it before you left the house?"
- Michael: Do you mind if we not relive the golden days of yesteryear?
- Brian: So to speak!
- Michael: Did you put air in those tires?
- Melanie: I just took it to the gas station. Checked the tires, the water, the oil, the brakes.
- Brian: Never send a fag to do a dyke's work.
- Ben: And remember to call when you arrive.
- Lindsay: Well, how can we forget when Michael will be calling us every five minutes to remind us?
- Melanie: Well, I guess it's time we...
- Debbie: Hold it. I don't care where you're going and I don't care what you're doing, but you better get your asses back here every Thanksgiving, Christmas, 4th of July, Hanukkah and Mother's Day. 'Cause you know how I feel about family.
- Melanie: Well, we wouldn't be one without you, Deb.
- Debbie: Take good care of my granddaughter. I love you.
- Melanie: Ready to roll.
- Brian: Mel.
- Melanie: Brian.
- Debbie: Don't you think I'm not coming up there for my granddaughter's birthday, so you better make room.
- Lindsay: You'll be all right?
- Brian: Without you crazy lesbians?
- Lindsay: I meant Justin.
- Brian: He's a selfish prick, thinks only of himself.
- Lindsay: You taught him well. I know. I'm sorry. No apologies.
- Brian: No regrets.
- Melanie: Are we leaving some time today?
- Brian: Goodbye, son.
- Debbie: Bye-bye, sweetheart. Drive carefully. Call us when you get there. We miss you already.
- Ben: Bye. Have fun.
- Debbie: See you soon. We love you. Bye-bye.
- Brian: Bye.
Episode #13 - GOODBYE; PT.2
- Brian: When's your flight?
- Justin: 10:00. I think I've finally found a place to stay. Daphne has a friend in the east village. Finding a work space is going to be difficult. Apparently, everything costs a fortune.
- Brian: Well, you'll manage. You always do.
- Justin: I'll be back. And you'll come there. We're going to see each other all the time.
- Brian: You don't know that. Neither do I. Whether we see each other next weekend or next month... Never again... It doesn't matter. It's only time.
- Justin: You didn't return them? [talking about the wedding rings]
- Brian: I didn't return them.
- Justin: We don't need rings or vows to prove that we love each other. We already know that.
- Brian: You did it.
- Justin: Did what?
- Brian: Became... The best homosexual you could possibly be.
Episode #13 - SERIES FINALE
- Michael: This is where it all began.
- Brian: And ended.
- Michael: But it's who we are. It's what made us.
- Brian: Didn't you say that... that's all a cheap illusion, and that outside, life goes on but in here, nothing ever changes?
- Michael: I did say that. Yes. But that was before I understood... that some things aren't meant to change. Dance with me.
- Brian: [chuckles]
- Michael: Why not?
- Brian: Well, for one thing, there's no music.
- Michael: Of course there is. Can't you hear it? The old thumpa-thumpa?
- Brian: Watch it, asshole! You want to bust your stitches?
- Michael: I'm fine. Come on. Come on! Shake that groove thing.
- Brian: You shake it, Mikey. I'm too...
- Michael: What? Old? You'll always be young. You'll always be beautiful. You're Brian Kinney, for fuck's sake!
- Brian: So... What are they playing?
- Michael: Our song.
[Michael voice over]
So the thumpa-thumpa continues. It always will, no matter what happens, no matter who's president. As our lady of disco, the divine miss Gloria Gaynor, has always sung to us: "We will survive."
RESOURCES:
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I wanted to choose two episodes (and/or scenes) from each season but, let's face it, if you've watched the show, you know that's impossible... BUT I don't want a livejournal fail, so I'm not gonna post all my choices... Maybe I'll do an encore later (assuming you all liked what I've done here) There's no particular order in my choices, just chronological (meaning, from S01 to S05) So, here it is, my FIRST QUEER AS FOLK PICSPAM. I hope you like it and enjoy!
WARNING: IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE SHOW, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS AHEAD.
SEASON 01
Pilot (episode #1) - THEY MEET
- Michael (narrating): And that's when it happened. When he came along.
- Brian: How's it going? Had a busy night?
- Justin: Just. checking out the bars, you know? Boytoy, Meathook...
- Brian: The Meathook. Really? So you're into leather?
- Justin: Sure.
- Brian: Where you headed?
- Justin: No place special.
- Brian: I can change that.
- Emmett: Hey! Hey! What about us?
- Brian: You can ride with Ted. [drives away]
- Ted: Thanks a lot.
- Michael: Asshole!
Pilot (episode #1) - FIRST KISS
- Brian: Coming in?
- Justin: Huh? Oh, yeah.
- Brian: Shut the door.
- Justin: This is a... Really nice place. I like your kitchen.
- Brian: Do you like Special K? [grins and takes his shoes off]
- Justin: It's okay. I like Cheerios better.
- Brian: I don't mean the kind you eat with bananas. My disco-pharmacologist cooks this up for me.
- Justin: I'm allergic to a lot of drugs. The doctor gave me penicillin once, nearly killed me. And... Tylenol.
- Brian: Tylenol? No one's allergic to Tylenol. Tylenol's what they give you when you're allergic to everything else. [unbuttons his pants in one quick motion]
- Justin: Oh... Well, codeine. Codeine's the worst. [sound of Brian's pants hitting the floor] Like I get diarrhea and start vomiting uncontrollably at the same time.
- Brian: Well, we'll make sure and keep that one on the top shelf. Out of reach. [bends over to slide his underwear off] So... Are you coming or going? Or coming and then going? Or coming and staying?
Episode #7 - YOUR QUEER SON
- Craig: Where are you going?
- Justin: Out.
- Craig: No, you're not leaving this house.
- Justin: What, so now I'm a prisoner?
- Craig: I heard what happened at school, Justin, yesterday. You're principal called.
- Justin: So? (he walks up to his father)
- Craig: So? So now you're flaunting yourself in front of everyone?
- Justin: I was not flaunting myself, dad. Besides, Chris Hobbs is the one who started it.
- Craig: You know, I don't care who started it. You're not going back there. (he starts walking inside)
- Jennifer: What?
- Craig: We're sending him away to school. It's time you learned some discipline. How to be a man.
- Justin: (smiles) I know all about discipline. And you should see me take it like a man. (Craig slaps Justin)
- Jennifer: (gasps) Craig! (she goes to Justin)
- Justin: It's all right, mom. It didn't hurt. If you want to hit me, go right ahead. Only I'm not gonna cry like some little faggot. And if you want to send me away, that's all right, too. 'Cause I bet more butt-fucking goes on in boarding school than in the back room of Babylon. But whatever you do, it's not gonna matter...'cause I'll still be your queer son.
Episode #19 - SO LONG JACK. YOU SON OF A BITCH
- Michael: What are you doin'? C'mon, it's cold!
- Brian: Patient, young fellow. Patient.
- Michael: Now what?
Brian yanks the ball out and stands in the middle of the street. He throws the ball down the street, and it rolls into the darkness, disappearing forever. He lifts his arms in triumph once again.
- Brian: So long, Jack! You son of a bitch.
Episode #22 - SAVE THE LAST DANCE FOR ME
- Justin: I thought you said you wouldn't be caught dead in a room full of eighteen-year-olds.
- Brian: I thought I'd recapture my lost youth. (Turns to Daphne) You look hot, Daphne. (Kisses the side of her face as she giggles) I'd fuck you.
- Daphne: Uh, you-you, too, Brian.
- Brian: Mind if I borrow your date?
- Daphne: (mouths) No.
[She walks off as Brian leads Justin onto the middle of the dance floor where they dance to "Ben E. King and The Drifters - Save the Last Dance." Everyone stops dancing to watch them. Chrisis obviously not pleased. Brian and Justin are start dancing while everyone watches. Justin takes off Brian's jacket and tosses it to Daphne. They continue some more fancy moves and dips and spins and then they kiss in front of everyone while Brian twirls Justin. Chris looks pissed as he watches. Daphne smiles as they keep kissing and finally they run off to the side when they're done, leaving the prom.]
Episode #22 - RIDICULOUSLY ROMANTIC
- Justin: Did you see their faces?
- Brian: Yeah. We gave them a prom they'll never forget.
- Justin: Me, neither. It's the best night of my life.
- Brian: Even if it was ridiculously romantic. Later.
- Justin: Later.
[Justin laughs and starts walking away while Brian gets in the jeep. He looks through the review mirror, smiling until he sees Chris come up behind Justin, carrying a baseball bat. He opens the door and gets out of the jeep]
- Brian: Justin!
[Justin turns around, smiling, as Chris bashes him in the head. Brian runs towards them and pushes Chris down, taking the bat and hitting Chris in the guts when he tries to run away. Brian runs over to Justin, who is lying on the ground,and leans over his body]
- Brian: No, no, no, no, no! God!
Episode #22 - SEASON FINALE
Two paramedics open the back doors of an ambulance and pull out the stretcher carrying Justin, his bandaged head and shirt covered in blood, his neck in a brace, hooked up to oxygen. Brian walks out of the ambulance, blood on him as well, holding the blood soaked scarf he had given Justin. He follows the paramedics into the hospital. Brian looks old.
Cut to inside the hospital, in a hallway, where Brian is sitting by himself, the bloody scarf around his neck. Michael walks up, sits down next to him and puts an arm around his shoulders, runs his hand through Brian's hair. Close up shot of Brian, tears streaking his face, blood on his lips.
He closes his eyes, and when he opens them, he imagines himself, Justin and Michael running down the hospital hallway when they where there for Gus's birth. Back to present day, he sits there, more tears running, as Michael tries to comfort him.
Brian just stares straight in front of him as Michael looks back down the hall. Fade out to black.
SEASON 02
Episode #2 - YOU TRIED TO SAVE ME
- Brian: Better now?
- Justin: Mmmh-mmmh.
- Brian: You really freaked me out.
- Justin: You?
- Brian: It was like you got hit all over again.
- Justin: I remembered walking away. And suddenly hearing your voice call my name, to warn me. You never told me about that. You tried to save me.
- Brian: I guess I forgot.
- Justin: It's a good thing one of us remembered.
[They kiss each other. Justin reaches into Brian's shirt and pulls out the scarf.]
- Justin: [whispers] I want you inside me.
- Brian: Are you sure?
- Justin: Yeah. Just... take it easy.
- Brian: Like the first time?
Episode #6 - TELL HIM WHAT YOU COULD NEVER SAY TO MICHAEL
- Debbie: Hasn't the kid been through enough without you causing him more pain?
- Brian: Stay out of it.
- Debbie: The fuck I will!
- Brian: I care about him.
- Debbie: All you care about is...
- Brian: Getting my dick sucked. I think that's been firmly established. Now, can we move on from there?
- Debbie: Look, all I want is to...
- Brian: Interfere?
- Debbie: You can call it whatever the fuck you want. I don't want Justin hurt.
- Brian: Well, that's life, isn't it? Surprise!
- Debbie: You think you got everybody fooled, don't you? Well, not me, honey. I've known you too long and regrettably too well, and no matter how hard you try to deny it, I can tell you care as much about him as he cares about you. Only you haven't got the big, hairy cojones to say it.
- Brian: Oh, well, maybe I could borrow yours.
- Debbie: Well, hey! Whatever it takes to admit that you love him. And I know that you do. Despite all your efforts to never let another heart touch yours. And that's assuming, of course, you have one. That little, persistent kid has somehow gotten in under the wire. And that's what's happened, huh? Admit the truth. You love him, don't you?
- Brian: [sighs; blows]
- Debbie: I thought so. Then tell him. Tell him what you could never say to Michael.
Episode #19 - YOU STINK
- Justin: Jesus, Brian. I thought you were bowling.
- Brian: Game's over.
- Justin: How'd we do?
- Brian: Three cheers to the winners.
- Justin: Way to go!
- Brian: It wasn't us. Where're you going?
- Justin: Take a shower.
- Brian: You sure are taking a lot of showers lately. Come here.
- Justin: Later.
- Brian: Now.
- Justin: Can't we please do this after I shower?
- Brian: I like smelling you. Not soap.
[They start kissing. Pretty passionately. They fall to their knees as they rip off their clothes. Brian's on top of Justin. He swats Justin's hands away from his pants. He does it himself.]
- Brian: You like that?
- Justin: Yes. Why'd you stop? Brian?
- Brian: Go take a shower. You stink.
[Brian walks away. Fade out.]
SEASON 03
Episode #4 - I BELIEVE THIS BELONGS TO YOU
- Justin: I believe this belongs to you.
- Brian: Thanks.
- Justin: Any time. Here.
- Brian: Shouldn't you be getting back to your boyfriend?
- Justin: Yeah.
Episode #7 - MIKEY IS GONNA BE A DADDY
- Brian: That's a Montecristo especial smuggled from Cuba, so stick it in your mouth and suck. If that's any indication of your technique, it's amazing you have a boyfriend.
- Michael: I'm still in shock. We made a baby after just one try.
- Brian: It's fucking depressing, all right. Your sperm actually liked Melanie's eggs. Ugh. Well, I guess there's no accounting for some people's tastes. Easy, Mikey.
- Michael: I don't think I can do it.
- Brian: What?
- Michael: Be responsible for another life.
- Brian: Did I ask you to?
- Michael: Not you, asshole. The kid.
- Brian: Job's done. From here on out, the lezzie's do all the work. All you have to do is show up for birthday parties and the occasional walk in the park.
- Michael: I don't intend to be a drop-in dad like you. I want to be involved, a real father... If I can just figure out how.
- Brian: You're going to be a great dad.
- Michael: What makes you so sure?
- Brian: You raised me, didn't you? Look how I turned out.
Episode #8 - I DECIDED YOU SHOULD TAKE ME BACK
- Justin: Mr. Kinney?
- Brian: Taylor. Come in. Sit down. You wanted to see me?
- Justin: I gave it some thought. I decided you should take me back.
- Brian: Oh?
- Justin: Even though I have made a few mistakes, I think you'd be making an even bigger one not to give me a second chance...
- Brian: I see...
- Justin: 'Cause I now understand what it is you want of me and now I can expect from you.
- Brian: You also understand that you'll be required to work long, hard hours, sometimes deep into the night?
- Justin: It'll be a pleasure to work under you, sir.
- Brian: And you're never to play violin music in my presence again.
- Justin: I promise.
- Brian: Good. Well, then... You can start... Immediately.
Episode #14 - NOW I GUESS I'VE LOST EVERYTHING
- Justin: Jesus Christ, Brian. Now you don't even have a car.
- Brian: Oh, now I guess I've lost everything.
- Justin: Not everything.
SEASON 04
Episode #9 - EAT SOME FUCKING CHICKEN SOUP!
- Brian: I thought I told you to get out.
- Justin: I guess I didn’t hear. You tend to mumble a lot.
[Brian slams his briefcase down on the counter.]
- Justin: You want some soup? It’s Debbie’s home made recipe.
- Brian: No wonder I feel like barfing. Listen to me, you little shit. I don’t want you here.
- Justin: I don’t care what you want.
[Brian grabs him by the arm, but he’s too weak to throw Justin out again.]
- Justin: You’re not getting rid of me!
[They struggle briefly. Brian ends up on the floor.]
- Justin: Shit, are you alright? Tell me you’re alright!
- Brian: (shoves Justin away) I’m alright!
- Justin: You’re not alright.
- Brian: (yells) Then what the hell are you asking me for?
- Justin: So that I can tell you what a mother-fucking piece of shit you are for not telling me! For shutting me out. For thinking that you could handle this on your own. And most of all, for thinking that I would leave you. Why would you think that? Cause you had a ball removed? Because you’re no longer perfect? Well, believe me, Mr. Kinney, that is the least of your imperfections. And if I’d wanted to leave you, I’ve had better reasons. Plenty of ‘em.
- Brian: Maybe you should have.
- Justin: Yeah, maybe you’re right. But I thought we had a commitment. And I plan to stand by it. Now why don’t you get your ass back in bed, you son-of-a-bitch! And eat some fucking chicken soup!
[The fight drains out of Brian. Slowly and painfully, he walks into the bedroom and lies down. Justin follows with the bowl of soup, sitting on the side of the bed.]
Episode #13 - OH, CANADA
- Judge: We are here today to join in matrimony Mr. Michael Novotny and Mr. Benjamin Bruckner.
- Debbie: Christ, this is the last time I’m going to a wedding with two queens.
- Judge: Do you, Michael, promise to love, respect and cherish Ben and be his true and faithful husband?
- Michael: I do.
- Judge: And do you, Ben, promise to love, respect and cherish Michael and be his true and faithful husband?
- Hunter: Say I do, dude.
- Ben: I do.
- Judge: If anyone knows of any reason why these two people should not be joined in marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace.
[Cut to Brian. He opens his mouth.]
- Debbie: You say one word, you're gonna be holding more than your peace.
[He shouts his mouth.]
- Judge: The rings, please. Now by the authority of the Province of Ontario, I pronounce you to be legally married.
- Debbie: I'm not losing a son, huh? I'm gaining a... son.
- Michael: You're next, ma.
Episode #14 - END OF LIBERTY RIDE
- Ben: I still can't get through to them.
- Debbie: I'm starting to get worried. Actually, I started getting worried four hours ago.
- Justin: Maybe we should go out searching.
- Hunter: Look!
[Justin starts to go to Brian.]
- Debbie: No! Let him finish.
- Michael: Come on.
- Brian: I can't.
- Michael: We... we're almost there.
- Brian: Fuck it. Just fuck it.
- Ben: You got it, you got it, you got it.
- Hunter: Come on, you can do it.
- Justin: Come on!
- Ben: You're almost there, almost there.
[Brian is inspired by the vision of Justin - but this time it’s the real thing. All cheers them up. He made it the few foots until the goal line.]
- Hunter: You can do it.
- Debbie: Yes! Sweet.
- Hunter: Way to go.
- Debbie: I was so worried.
- Justin: I could kill you for doing this.
- Brian: Yeah, well, I almost saved you the trouble.
- Hunter: Okay.
- Ben: We thought maybe you went to the hospital.
- Michael: There's no need. Brian's going to be okay.
- Ben: No, no, I didn't mean that. Lindsay called around an hour ago. You're a dad.
- Debbie: I'm a grandma.
- Brian: Way to go, Michael.
- Debbie: I'm a grandma.
- Justin: Nice.
SEASON 05
Episode #7 - YOU INFECTED HIM!
- Brian: Well, Mikey... Congratulations.
- Michael: For what?!
- Brian: You won. To the spoiler goes the victory.
- Michael: I don't know what you're talking about.
- Brian: Of course you don't. No-one plays dewy-eyed innocent better than you. Although, at 34, you're getting a bit long in the tooth for short pants.
- Michael: Speaking of outgrowing your act... Nothing's more pathetic - to use one of your favourite words - than an over-the-hill club boy.
- Brian: You infected him... With your petty bourgeois, mediocre, conformist, assimilationist life! Thanks to you, he's got visions - babies, weddings, white picket fences dancing in his blond little head.
- Michael: And you think I put them there?
- Brian: Before you and your husband tied the noose around your necks, he was perfectly happy! And now he's a defector just like the rest of you!
- Michael: He was never perfectly happy! Waiting for years for you to say "I love you." "You're the only one I want."
- Brian: That's not who I am!
- Michael: Don't we all know?!
- Brian: And now he's here in your house...
- Michael: It's a home.
- Brian: It's a farce! It's a freak show!
- Michael: Call it what you want. I honestly don't care. But he didn't leave because I "infected" him. He left because of you. Who wouldn't?!
Episode #10 - I WAS SO FUCKING SCARED
- Brian: When I heard what happened, I tried to call you on your cell, but... you didn't answer. I was... so fucking scared. All I could think was... "Please don't let anything happen to him." I love you. I love you.
Episode #12 - BRITIN IS OFFICIALLY BORN
- Justin: What are we gonna call it? Mandalay? Xanadu? Wuthering Heights?
- Brian: I'll leave the christening up to you.
- Justin: Brighton!
- Brian: Bri... Tin...!
Episode #13 - WEDDING SUITS
- Brian: Holy shit.
- Justin: What?
- Brian: You look...
- Justin: Good? Bad? Laughable?
- Brian: Beautiful.
- Justin: I do?
- Brian: It's not a question. It's a declaration. So try and be more emphatic when the minister asks you if you want to go through with this.
- Justin: I do.
Episode #13 - HOW THE FUCK DO YOU RETURN A WATER BUFFALO?
- Ted: It's a rehearsal dinner but what's to rehearse? They say, "I do," then they do it.
- Ben: But what do you get the man who's had everyone?
- Lindsay: A water buffalo.
- Debbie: Why the hell would Brian want to fuck that?
- Lindsay: It's to help Cambodian farmers plough their fields and provide milk for their children.
- Jennifer: Well, that is so much more imaginative than another boring old... sterling place setting from Tiffany's.
- Daphne: Justin's already got everything he's ever wanted.
- Carl: I know how it feels.
- Justin: We would like to thank you all for coming to our rehearsal dinner.
- Brian: However, there's nothing to rehearse. The wedding's off.
- Justin: No, it's true. We decided not to get married.
- Debbie: How the fuck do you return a water buffalo?
Episode #13 - GOODBYE; PT.1
- Michael: I love you, honey bun.
- Debbie: I hope everybody peed. Whenever I used to take Michael anywhere, no sooner we'd leave the house than he'd say, "Ma, I gotta tinkle." And I'd say, "why? You couldn't have done it before you left the house?"
- Michael: Do you mind if we not relive the golden days of yesteryear?
- Brian: So to speak!
- Michael: Did you put air in those tires?
- Melanie: I just took it to the gas station. Checked the tires, the water, the oil, the brakes.
- Brian: Never send a fag to do a dyke's work.
- Ben: And remember to call when you arrive.
- Lindsay: Well, how can we forget when Michael will be calling us every five minutes to remind us?
- Melanie: Well, I guess it's time we...
- Debbie: Hold it. I don't care where you're going and I don't care what you're doing, but you better get your asses back here every Thanksgiving, Christmas, 4th of July, Hanukkah and Mother's Day. 'Cause you know how I feel about family.
- Melanie: Well, we wouldn't be one without you, Deb.
- Debbie: Take good care of my granddaughter. I love you.
- Melanie: Ready to roll.
- Brian: Mel.
- Melanie: Brian.
- Debbie: Don't you think I'm not coming up there for my granddaughter's birthday, so you better make room.
- Lindsay: You'll be all right?
- Brian: Without you crazy lesbians?
- Lindsay: I meant Justin.
- Brian: He's a selfish prick, thinks only of himself.
- Lindsay: You taught him well. I know. I'm sorry. No apologies.
- Brian: No regrets.
- Melanie: Are we leaving some time today?
- Brian: Goodbye, son.
- Debbie: Bye-bye, sweetheart. Drive carefully. Call us when you get there. We miss you already.
- Ben: Bye. Have fun.
- Debbie: See you soon. We love you. Bye-bye.
- Brian: Bye.
Episode #13 - GOODBYE; PT.2
- Brian: When's your flight?
- Justin: 10:00. I think I've finally found a place to stay. Daphne has a friend in the east village. Finding a work space is going to be difficult. Apparently, everything costs a fortune.
- Brian: Well, you'll manage. You always do.
- Justin: I'll be back. And you'll come there. We're going to see each other all the time.
- Brian: You don't know that. Neither do I. Whether we see each other next weekend or next month... Never again... It doesn't matter. It's only time.
- Justin: You didn't return them? [talking about the wedding rings]
- Brian: I didn't return them.
- Justin: We don't need rings or vows to prove that we love each other. We already know that.
- Brian: You did it.
- Justin: Did what?
- Brian: Became... The best homosexual you could possibly be.
Episode #13 - SERIES FINALE
- Michael: This is where it all began.
- Brian: And ended.
- Michael: But it's who we are. It's what made us.
- Brian: Didn't you say that... that's all a cheap illusion, and that outside, life goes on but in here, nothing ever changes?
- Michael: I did say that. Yes. But that was before I understood... that some things aren't meant to change. Dance with me.
- Brian: [chuckles]
- Michael: Why not?
- Brian: Well, for one thing, there's no music.
- Michael: Of course there is. Can't you hear it? The old thumpa-thumpa?
- Brian: Watch it, asshole! You want to bust your stitches?
- Michael: I'm fine. Come on. Come on! Shake that groove thing.
- Brian: You shake it, Mikey. I'm too...
- Michael: What? Old? You'll always be young. You'll always be beautiful. You're Brian Kinney, for fuck's sake!
- Brian: So... What are they playing?
- Michael: Our song.
[Michael voice over]
So the thumpa-thumpa continues. It always will, no matter what happens, no matter who's president. As our lady of disco, the divine miss Gloria Gaynor, has always sung to us: "We will survive."
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