Dream of Bob-Kittens
I had a dream that my sister dumped my bowl of dumpling and noodle soup all over the ground. She had done it deliberately, looking me in the eye. I was so upset that I left her and my mom at the picnic bench to go “take a walk” along the beach. It was suddenly much later in the day, past dusk, and I explored the rock and concrete formations along the shore until I came upon a bobcat and her 3 kittens. The kittens were a bobcat-tabby mix (naughty!) One of them took a strong liking to me and would not leave me, so I adopted him. I don’t recall naming him, but me and Paul and some other fellow that we supposedly knew a long time were raising him. I remember this other fellow being something of an unreliable fuck-up that we had no choice in interacting with. He was likely our roommate.
This roommate was part of a circle of asshole friends we had, which also included two girls around my age. The younger one was a small, unassuming and naive brunette who was relatively gentle and kind. Relatively gentle and kind compared to the older one, who was unapologetic when she nearly drowned the younger one in the pool by pushing her underwater. The younger one’s hair had gotten caught on some fixture in the pool and she was stuck… she got loose in time and was nearly crying but the older one shrugged and told her to stop being such a baby.
Later on I was recounting this to unreliable jackass roommate, and he said she was such a stupid fucking nihilist. I agreed and then the three of us walked to the store to get some groceries and, I dunno, bobcat kitten food (bobkitten?)
As we approached the entrance/exit to the parking lot on the right hand side, a young woman with curly dark hair in a black car seemed not to notice us and nearly hit me. I’d almost had to slam my hand onto the hood of her car, she'd gotten so close. I started cursing at her and she pulled her sunglasses down over her eyes from on top of her head in an effort to ignore me, and turned right onto the street. The traffic was slow, so she’d come to a stop as we caught up with her. At this point I was screaming curses at her, and she got out of her car wielding… an umbrella, I want to say. It was colorful and she brandished it as a weapon. I continued yelling, enraged at her lack of remorse, when I noticed a squad car a bit behind us and flagged them down, explaining the situation and pointing her out. As they approached her, she turned her makeshift weapon on them, threatening to strike the officer nearest her. I figured I didn’t have time for this nonsense, I had bobkitten supplies to purchase. I yelled, “Attempted assault on an officer, good luck, you stupid bitch!” But as I looked over my shoulder, I noticed they were letting her off the hook! So then I turn back around to raise hell, but she just gets in her car and apologizes. I said, “Well, okay, it’s all right-” and she goes, “That’s what happens when you’re livin’ la vida loca!” and speeds off as I shake my head. “She reminded me of Jean Ralphio’s sister,” I say as she speeds off.
In the store, we are perusing and shit, and then, as dreams do, suddenly my kitty is an actual baby boy. Now the joy we felt has turned to regretful despair and concern over our public appearance. We find a small greeting card section that also has publications. There is a newspaper folded to show the classifieds and personals on top, and there is a section where you, the public, can literally pen in your own personals, as long as it fits within the blank box they provided. Paul scoffed at the size of it, said he only needed ‘this much space’ and began writing his out. Then I was like, “What the fuck are you writing out a personal for?!” He said not to worry, it was fine. Hmph. Then all I can recall is more concern over being judged by strangers, more despairing over my sudden child-laden future, and my alarm clock going off.
This roommate was part of a circle of asshole friends we had, which also included two girls around my age. The younger one was a small, unassuming and naive brunette who was relatively gentle and kind. Relatively gentle and kind compared to the older one, who was unapologetic when she nearly drowned the younger one in the pool by pushing her underwater. The younger one’s hair had gotten caught on some fixture in the pool and she was stuck… she got loose in time and was nearly crying but the older one shrugged and told her to stop being such a baby.
Later on I was recounting this to unreliable jackass roommate, and he said she was such a stupid fucking nihilist. I agreed and then the three of us walked to the store to get some groceries and, I dunno, bobcat kitten food (bobkitten?)
As we approached the entrance/exit to the parking lot on the right hand side, a young woman with curly dark hair in a black car seemed not to notice us and nearly hit me. I’d almost had to slam my hand onto the hood of her car, she'd gotten so close. I started cursing at her and she pulled her sunglasses down over her eyes from on top of her head in an effort to ignore me, and turned right onto the street. The traffic was slow, so she’d come to a stop as we caught up with her. At this point I was screaming curses at her, and she got out of her car wielding… an umbrella, I want to say. It was colorful and she brandished it as a weapon. I continued yelling, enraged at her lack of remorse, when I noticed a squad car a bit behind us and flagged them down, explaining the situation and pointing her out. As they approached her, she turned her makeshift weapon on them, threatening to strike the officer nearest her. I figured I didn’t have time for this nonsense, I had bobkitten supplies to purchase. I yelled, “Attempted assault on an officer, good luck, you stupid bitch!” But as I looked over my shoulder, I noticed they were letting her off the hook! So then I turn back around to raise hell, but she just gets in her car and apologizes. I said, “Well, okay, it’s all right-” and she goes, “That’s what happens when you’re livin’ la vida loca!” and speeds off as I shake my head. “She reminded me of Jean Ralphio’s sister,” I say as she speeds off.
In the store, we are perusing and shit, and then, as dreams do, suddenly my kitty is an actual baby boy. Now the joy we felt has turned to regretful despair and concern over our public appearance. We find a small greeting card section that also has publications. There is a newspaper folded to show the classifieds and personals on top, and there is a section where you, the public, can literally pen in your own personals, as long as it fits within the blank box they provided. Paul scoffed at the size of it, said he only needed ‘this much space’ and began writing his out. Then I was like, “What the fuck are you writing out a personal for?!” He said not to worry, it was fine. Hmph. Then all I can recall is more concern over being judged by strangers, more despairing over my sudden child-laden future, and my alarm clock going off.