She came over me like some holy rite
Pairing and characters: Xabi Alonso/Steven Gerrard, Jamie Carragher, Mikel Arteta, Glen Johnson, Joe Cole, Pepe Reina, Brendan Rodgers, Ela (Fictional Caracther)
Type: AU
Summary: Xabier is an angel, Steven is a crabby man who thinks that he can't do better with his life (worst summary ever ISTG!)
Warnings: Only one, this work has no beta process...please forgive me for any mistake you certainly will find.
Rating: Teen Up Audience...
Disclaimer: well, Xabi certainly isn't a mythical creature, even if a few of us we think otherwise. This is just for fun and no others intentions are implied.
***
“I need no soft lights to enchant me
If you'll only grant me the right
To hold you ever so tight
And to feel in the night the nearness of you”
***The morning is cold and rainy. Steven is in the café drinking his beloved Cappuccino, the place more crowded that it's used to, obviously the weather has made the people run there protecting themselves from the relentless drops. Steven has his mind anywhere but in the present, ignoring completely the noisy crowd. The hot brown liquid traveling through his throat it’s an enticement to mitigate the cold from the absence of the sun rays. Steven suddenly smiles, he has a flashback of Xabi and his ramblings about how the city keeps its charm even that the rain gives it that melancholic air, its proud make it takes it like its own, makes it part of its identity. Generally, Steven has always something cocky to say when Xabi has this tendency to say something eloquent and profound, but that doesn’t mean that he dislikes it at all.
He actually loves Xabi’s philosophical air and loves hear him swear. He loves make him lose his calmness and loves how he sits in the kitchen table only to listen his words or watch him make his breakfast. He started to love him more when he felt his lips on his own and touched his skin, and now, while he’s drinking his coffee Steven realizes that he’s completely in love with a mythologist being (that’s what he thinks about Xabi) and that fact makes him feel absolutely out of place. This is crazy, an statement that get stuck in Steven’s brain and also, can be added that this is the first time that Steven is (significantly) feeling something serious for somebody (for anything actually) well, it’s a disaster. It doesn’t mean that Steven never cared for anyone before, but it was just that, caring not… love, if it’s the proper way to call whatever he’s feeling. He never had thought about love like something unaffiliated to him, something to look for, he has his own definition of love even that is difficult for him to explain. But he suspects that every minute he’s with Xabi, are minutes that he waits like a child its birthday party and the promise of Buzz Lightyear like the entertainer, you can say that he’s pretty much in love. Or when Jamie, that knows him like nobody in the world and he doesn’t have any idea of who’s Xabi (or that there’s a Xabi) and even so, he suspects that the smile in Steven’s face almost permanently these last days it’s caused by something like are you in drugs or you finally met somebody?, or seeing Xabi in his dreams like last night (and at this Steven wants the earth swallowing him and just never come back because he’s gave enough reasons to be judge by the lady all mighty) just seeing him totally undone, glowing with sweat a sight more than beautiful for Steven, desperate asking for more, well yes, there’s nothing more to say that he’s lost his mind and he’s completely crazy for something that’s practically impossible.
What’s make the all thing really sucks is that he doesn’t have a clue of what to do with any of it. He can’t look straight to Xabi’s eyes without those images coming to his mind, remember it is just so embarrassing and makes him feel impotent. Xabi could never be with him in that way and he feels angriness, frustration and mostly sadness about it
- “Steven?”- Jamie calls his friend’s attention who was deep concentrated looking the monitor.
-“Yeah Jay what is it?” - Says Steven still staring the monitor in an annoyed tone and when he finally sets his stare on his friend, he realizes Jamie is with Brendan and quickly gets up from the chair sheepishly, regretting the unfriendly answer to his friend and boss.
-“Brendan wants to talk about something he looked in your report”.
-“Yes Steven, you made some interesting observations about our marketing strategies and the members of the board are actually curious about it, they want to hear more of it. Could you make a presentation for Friday maybe? I can arrange a meeting and if you convince them, the project will be yours”
-“Uh…yes…of course. I’ll do it, I’ll gladly have the material prepared for it”
-“Good job by the way. If you’re willing we can consider promoting you for Marketing Management, you have skills for it and now that’s our weakness. If you have succeed in the meeting, consider yourself working in that department real soon”
-“Well, If Jamie doesn’t have a probl-”
-“Of course not! I told Brendan that I’ll more than agree to let you go. You have been here a lot time and I think that you can do more there, show your potentials in something of your interest. You don’t have to worry for anything”
-“Thanks Jamie, and thank you Mr. Rodgers for the opportunity”
-“Please, call me Brendan and you’re welcome. Till later then” - Brendan leaves for his office and Steven glances Jamie with certain curiosity while he’s sitting again on his chair. Jamie smiles knowingly adding “I’m tired to see you killing zombies and I do believe it’s a great chance for you”
-“I don’t know if this came in a good time for me to be honest with you”
-“Stevie, what’s wrong with you? I can see something is bothering you since a few days, and just before that you were smiling like a kid in a candy store. Why this sudden change of humour? What is it with you?”
-“It’s kind of…complicated Jamie, but don’t worry, I think I can handle it… yeah…absolutely” - Steven thinks ironically while he’s trying to convince his friend that he’s fine so Jamie can stop to wonder what the fuck is going on with him, because really, how he can actually explain his situation to anybody? How he should start? What is happening to him is something that probably it would be called “unusual”, being attached to an angel is not a common situation to be in the first place, not to mention falling in love with one.
-“Are you sure Gerrard?”
-“Yeah, stop worrying. Besides, you have collaborated with the fact that now I do have to work thank you very much, so I won’t have time to think about it”
-“Wanker… I believe you’re going to impress them, so for your own good you better will or I’ll kick your ass!”
-“Your golden dream isn’t?”
-“Fuck you, you know I can”
-“You’re saying the same thing since you had fourteen, deal with it Carra, you can’t and would not defeat me”
Jamie laughs at this (also Stevie is partially right), making his friend relaxing a little bit and letting his issues on a side for a moment.
***
This is the first time in a long while that Steven feels satisfaction doing something related to his job. It seems that this marketing issue thing caught his attention enough to keep him occupied through the working hours, and after all Steven loves challenges. Is that competitive side of him that never cease to exist, even after he was forced to leave football. He was so engrossed in the graphics, numbers and in the PowerPoint slides, he didn’t realize that it was almost 6 pm. He can’t remember when was the last time he left the office after 5 pm… probably never. He takes his coat and goes to the building exit, the chilly wind greeting him not so amiably and while he’s putting on his coat, he can see Xabi in the usual spot smiling like he always do when he sees Steven walking to him. The man notes a certain kind of expectation or anxiety in the angel eyes though.
-“Long day?”- Xabi asks when Steven gets closer to him and takes his hand, squeezing it lightly and letting a soft sigh escapes from his mouth while he lets go Xabi’s hand.
-“A very long one”
-“I see, I understand if you want to go home. I can come back tomorrow”
-“I don’t want you to go Xabi, in fact… I want to show you something, would you come with me?”- Xabi smiles tenderly, enough answer for the man who also smiles at the angel and can’t take his eyes off him, the way Xabi’s face light up it’s probably one of Steven’s favourite things in the world now.
-“Come, we’re not going home yet by the way”
-“Do you remember that you asked me what I love to do all the time?”- They’re in a little football field near to a school. It’s getting dark and the cold breeze makes Steven’s cheeks and nose goes pink, his feet playing with a ball, passing it to one foot to another.
-“I do remember it but you never answered”
-“I bet it’s not hard to guess right?”
-“From the time you learned to walk and speak, you love football Steven, of course it’s not a difficult thing to guess”
Steven laughs at Xabi’s words and then he concentrates on the ball, making some dribbles and kicking it to the net, scoring and celebrating like he scored the goal of the season while Xabi watches, laughing and clapping all the time.
-“You should try, let’s see how good you can be”
-“Nah-huh. I don’t think so”
-“Oh come on, let me teach you”
And they spend a while like that, Steven trying to make Xabi kick the ball without send it to the other side of the city, or taking it from the angel who moves so quickly, at incredible velocities.
-“Hey, that’s cheat you know? Don’t use your divine faculties!”- Xabi can’t stop laughing, he enjoys so much leaves Steven practically babbling while he’s playing tricks.
-“I have to make use of what I was given human! Don’t blame me for that”
-“You’re so pretentious, sometimes I doubt you’re really an angel, you’re more Machiavellian than celestial, I tell you”
-“Maybe you have to feel guilty about it, you’re a terrible influence Steven”
Xabi stops talking because he needs to concentrate in the lessons that Steven has been giving him, dominating the ball and finally scoring a goal from the half of the field. Steven claps delighted while the angel jogs to him and wraps his arms around the man’s back.
Steven’s nostrils fills with Xabi’s aroma and he instinctively hides his face in the angel’s neck, grazing his skin with his stubble cheek and breathing him. Xabi stills, letting Steven feels him and listening the train of thoughts that the man has related on him.
-“I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention”- Steven hears Xabi says and moves his head to watch him directly to his eyes.
-“I can hear - I’m really sorry. It wasn't planned let you feel something for me, I didn't think you would”
-“Only me Xabi? I’m the only one who has feelings for someone here?”
-“Don’t! You know that I can’t - that I’m not allowed to…” - Xabi thinks briefly that frustration is something very close to what he’s actually feeling right now. Since he has met Steven, Xabi has been in this constant whirl of new sensations and he doesn’t have a clue of what to do, or think. He feels he doesn’t have any control on this.
-“I’ve been sorry for this every day Xabi, since the day I started to fall for you and how I feel when you’re around. And what you are... this is crazy! The least you can do is admit that you’re so confused as I am”
-“You can’t ask me that, don’t do that!”
-“But I know it anyway! Jeez… I know! Maybe I can’t hear what the hell you think or anything but you let me touch you and kiss you. If you didn’t want it as I do, you wouldn't let me do any of those things to you and I can see in your eyes that you want”
Xabi thinks that it’s a perfect timing to disappear, but he chooses to close his eyes and try to be as patient as he can be.
-“Say it won’t change anything Steven. Admit it would make everything more difficult for the both of us and the last thing I want to do is to cause deception in you. I’m what I am and nothing will change that. No matter what you think I can be able to want”
-“I think it’s too late for that and you know it Xabi. But, I don’t regret it, I don’t regret that you decided to appear in my life”
-“Me neither”- Xabi says and the look he gives to Steven is enough for him to understand what the angel has in him. A drizzle starts to fall and Steven takes Xabi’s hand.
-“Come, let’s go home”
***
Just a few things have made Steven feel nervous through all his life. For example, the first minutes on the field in the beginning of a match when he used to play, the first time he liked a boy (and the conclusion he made of that fact) and the group of men dressed all correctly and with grey hair which are staring at him right now. Steven wears his best suit (the best of the four he have) and while he’s waiting for the video beam reflects his presentation on the smart board, he glances at Jamie who is there not exactly at his will.
- Come on Steven, you don’t need cheerleaders there, you’ll be great!...
-You wanker! I don’t need you to cheer me up, I need to see a familiar face because I don’t know any of them and they’ll freak me out! Besides, you pushed me into this so you better be there or I’ll drag you-
-All right I’ll go…just relax mate!
And that’s how Jamie ended up reunited with the board in the conference room, nodding at every word Steven has been saying to make him feel secure that he’s on the right path.
It’s enough for Steven to believe that he can pull this off.
-“To Steven, who’s from today the new Marketing’s Management Coordinator of the best Insurance’s Company of England”
There’s a general buuu in the table where Steven and his friends are having a pint in the accustomed pub, celebrating Steven’s promotion.
-“Yeah Stevie, now you have to work”
-“I didn’t knew you were such a corporate man Jamie, I bet you have cups and pens all around your house with the name where you work”
-“Fuck you Pepe, the pens are actually quite good”
-“So you’ll have a proper office Stevie?”
-“Yeah, I asked Jay’s office and his services like my assistant Coordinator”
-“Keep dreaming bastard”
-“Hey Jamie, what was the thing you wanted to tell us?”
-“Oh yeah, I’m going to be a dad again. Nicola told me two days ago, she has three months. Little Jamie is really excited too”
-“That’s some great news Jamie, just please don’t torture us like Joe here with his talks about bottles and baby shit stuffs”
-“Fuck off Glen, I don’t talk about that all the time”
-“Really? The other day Mr. Cole asked me to help him choose a damn cradle and we were walking around the baby’s department for three hours. Three fucking hours because he couldn’t choose between white or wood colour. You know Joe? Please tell me you’re going to wait long enough to have another one and let us to recover from this”
-“Go and fuck yourself”
-“Ok…enough with the subject. So, pool boys? I feel lucky tonight” - Two hours later four grown up men were cursing really loud to a very smiling Steven.
***
-“Check”
-“Damn it!”
-“Language Xabier”
-“Don’t make me to show you the finger Mikel”
-“You’re terrible for chess, you know it. I don’t know why you insist to play with me anyway”
-“Soon or later your king will fall”
-“You have been trying for an eternity, you have another one to do it”
-“Some day”- Xabi push his king to make it fall for the tenth time in the night and pretends he’s deep sighing. He thinks he’ll never be able to win Mikel in chess and concludes that probably war strategies are not his thing.
-“Don’t give up”
-“Maybe we should try with poker someday”
-“Maybe we should. How is your friend by the way?”
-“He’s fine. He has been promoted and he’s celebrating it with his friends. The unusual comes when I’m around”
-“Ah, but he’s weird enough to have unusual relationships in his life, isn’t it?”
-“Probably”- Xabi smiles, but some kind of sadness shadows his eyes. After a few moments, Mikel talks again.
-“You love him do you?”
-“Probably”
-“And what are you going to do Xabier?”
-“Nothing, there’s nothing I can do about it”
-“You know you can ask her”
-“You know very well Mikel, that I’m not going to do it”
Mikel feels sorrow for his friend. Even that he always believed that Xabi’s intentions to get close to Steven were selfish from the beginning, seeing him now with that sad expression and talking with a kind of nostalgia, makes him to feel empathy for his friend.
-“Then why you still sees him?”
-“Because I would rather have moments with him that not have anything at all. At least I can take that”
Mikel gives Xabi one more chance to beat him in chess, more likely to change a little the gloomy air that surrounds them.
***-“I’m happy for Jamie, it can’t be more convenient for his family the news”
-“Me too. I realize that everyone in my group are parents”
-“You don’t have any intentions to be one right?”
-“Not a chance. I love kids, as long as they’re other’s responsibility it’s fine by me”
-“Royal flush Steven” - Xabi shows his cards with a cheeky smile.
-“What the- again??”
-“I have a natural talent it seems”
-“This is the second time you make that. How you do-?… Oh… oh you cheat bastard”
-“I can’t believe you didn’t realize it till now”
-“You BASTARD!”
-“Insulting me doesn’t make you look less naïve Steven, just to say it with elegant words”
Steven throws the cards to Xabi’s face and pretends indignity for the way Xabi has deceived him. He also thinks how dumb he was being that he actually forgot the angel can read his mind. He blames him anyway, it’s his fault that he’s engrossed with him completely.
-“We should go to the Casino, we would make a fortune with you there”
-“I don’t think- NO!”
-“You have not been corrupted enough angel, maybe I should work with that”- Steven says yawning, it was a long day.
-“Congratulations Steven. I think it’s great they’re giving you a chance, you’re going to be good at it”
-“Well, I kind of like it you know? It’s interesting and yeah, we’ll see how it gets”
-“You’ll have success, I believe in you”
-“Aw Xabi, you’re my favourite fan”- Xabi whispers a fuck you and Steven laughs at how sometimes Xabi still is demure with human mannerism.
-“Let’s go to the bed allright?”
-“Ok I have to ask, why your skin is warm? You don’t have a heart or blood in your veins, it’s funny. You must be cold right?”
-“I don’t know”- Steven has a hand over Xabi’s cheek while the angel has his over Steven’s chest. They’re laying on the bed facing each other, Steven trying to get to sleep -“Ela decided create us like this I guess”
-“She’s a fucking genius, I think I started to like her really”
Xabi laughs at Steven’s words and then he kisses his forehead.
-“Come on, try to sleep ok?”
Xabi’s mesmerized with the rise and fall of Steven’s chest while the man sleeps so peacefully. He looks so beautiful and vulnerable at Xabi’s eyes that he can’t look away from him. In this moment, he couldn’t care less the gravity of his situation, he just rests his stare on the man and keeps for himself every moment he can spend with him. He knows that sooner or later he must step aside and let Steven continue with his life, but not yet. He's just content to spend hours just watching Steven sleeps, how he breaths and listening his heart. He was completely absorbed by the image in front of him that he didn’t realize that there was someone in the room.
It strikes him when he feels the overwhelming force surrounding the place, he immediately sits up on Steven’s bed, open-mouthed and surprised.
He has never seen Ela’s human form before. She’s always everywhere and Xabi only was capable of listen her and feels her omnipresent. But she’s there with them now, and she’s absolutely gorgeous. Her skin is so white, with big and brown eyes, her curly hair falling over her waist. She’s smiling, her face lighting up.
-“I like him too you know? He has a weird sense of humour, a little cynical for my taste, but I can’t say much about that right? How are you Xabier?”
Xabi is speechless. He can’t move, it’s too much for him to see her there. He can’t describe what he’s feeling, the only thing he can do is to watch her in awe.
Ela gets closer to Steven and grazes his cheek lightly with her delicate hand. Then, she watches Xabi and extends her hand to him and demand:
-“Come with me Xabier, we need to talk”
-“It’s been a long time since I walked over the earth like this. The city looks different from here, gorgeous. I can see why you’re so fond of it”
Ela and Xabi are in the city’s port, the sun threatening to come up while the two heavenly beings are watching the horizon.
-“Why you’re here Ela?”
-“It’s not obvious Xabier? I’m here looking for you. You have been so much here that I’ve missed you, I think you lost notion of who you are and to tell you the truth I’m little disappointed”- Ela smiles, despite that her words sounded like a scolding to Xabi.
-“I’m sorry Ela. I-”
-“Hush it. Don’t be sorry, you were always the curious one of my servers. But always obedient and loyal and even so, you let yourself being captivated by human nature. It was a matter of time that someone in particular caught your attention enough to drag you in the state that you’re currently. And I know how this is going to end anyway. I always knew it”
-“Do…do you?”
-“Of course Xabier, you’re not the only one who has a fall for a human. The difference is that you were always curious about them and genuinely fascinated by their actions. It’s something new for me, your devotion to them”
Ela stands up from her seat and walks to the edge of the port. Xabi follows her, standing on her side.
-“What happened with the others?”
-“I let them go”
-“You…you let them go?”
-“Yes Xabier, I can’t retain anyone against its will, not even my angels, it’s not a fair situation for you guys isn’t?”
Ela smiles and Xabi understands everything that smile means to say.
-“I never thought of asking you Ela”
-“I know, you overcome your loyalty before your wishes, always. That’s why I always have had you like one of my notable ones”
The sun starts to bath the city with its rays.
-“He needs you Xabier, as well you need him”
Ela takes Xabi’s face between her hands and gently she puts his lips on his forehead. Xabi closes his eyes, his insides seems to come to life by Ela’s touch.
-“I’m going to miss you…Xabi”
Xabi feels a light touch on his cheek. It’s warm and tender and Ela is watching him with bright eyes and knowing smile. She wraps her arms around his waist and kisses his neck and he hugs her too.
The warm feeling in Ela’s arms is the last thing Xabi can remember before falls asleep.
***
The song of the chapter
:)
Type: AU
Summary: Xabier is an angel, Steven is a crabby man who thinks that he can't do better with his life (worst summary ever ISTG!)
Warnings: Only one, this work has no beta process...please forgive me for any mistake you certainly will find.
Rating: Teen Up Audience...
Disclaimer: well, Xabi certainly isn't a mythical creature, even if a few of us we think otherwise. This is just for fun and no others intentions are implied.
***
“I need no soft lights to enchant me
If you'll only grant me the right
To hold you ever so tight
And to feel in the night the nearness of you”
***The morning is cold and rainy. Steven is in the café drinking his beloved Cappuccino, the place more crowded that it's used to, obviously the weather has made the people run there protecting themselves from the relentless drops. Steven has his mind anywhere but in the present, ignoring completely the noisy crowd. The hot brown liquid traveling through his throat it’s an enticement to mitigate the cold from the absence of the sun rays. Steven suddenly smiles, he has a flashback of Xabi and his ramblings about how the city keeps its charm even that the rain gives it that melancholic air, its proud make it takes it like its own, makes it part of its identity. Generally, Steven has always something cocky to say when Xabi has this tendency to say something eloquent and profound, but that doesn’t mean that he dislikes it at all.
He actually loves Xabi’s philosophical air and loves hear him swear. He loves make him lose his calmness and loves how he sits in the kitchen table only to listen his words or watch him make his breakfast. He started to love him more when he felt his lips on his own and touched his skin, and now, while he’s drinking his coffee Steven realizes that he’s completely in love with a mythologist being (that’s what he thinks about Xabi) and that fact makes him feel absolutely out of place. This is crazy, an statement that get stuck in Steven’s brain and also, can be added that this is the first time that Steven is (significantly) feeling something serious for somebody (for anything actually) well, it’s a disaster. It doesn’t mean that Steven never cared for anyone before, but it was just that, caring not… love, if it’s the proper way to call whatever he’s feeling. He never had thought about love like something unaffiliated to him, something to look for, he has his own definition of love even that is difficult for him to explain. But he suspects that every minute he’s with Xabi, are minutes that he waits like a child its birthday party and the promise of Buzz Lightyear like the entertainer, you can say that he’s pretty much in love. Or when Jamie, that knows him like nobody in the world and he doesn’t have any idea of who’s Xabi (or that there’s a Xabi) and even so, he suspects that the smile in Steven’s face almost permanently these last days it’s caused by something like are you in drugs or you finally met somebody?, or seeing Xabi in his dreams like last night (and at this Steven wants the earth swallowing him and just never come back because he’s gave enough reasons to be judge by the lady all mighty) just seeing him totally undone, glowing with sweat a sight more than beautiful for Steven, desperate asking for more, well yes, there’s nothing more to say that he’s lost his mind and he’s completely crazy for something that’s practically impossible.
What’s make the all thing really sucks is that he doesn’t have a clue of what to do with any of it. He can’t look straight to Xabi’s eyes without those images coming to his mind, remember it is just so embarrassing and makes him feel impotent. Xabi could never be with him in that way and he feels angriness, frustration and mostly sadness about it
- “Steven?”- Jamie calls his friend’s attention who was deep concentrated looking the monitor.
-“Yeah Jay what is it?” - Says Steven still staring the monitor in an annoyed tone and when he finally sets his stare on his friend, he realizes Jamie is with Brendan and quickly gets up from the chair sheepishly, regretting the unfriendly answer to his friend and boss.
-“Brendan wants to talk about something he looked in your report”.
-“Yes Steven, you made some interesting observations about our marketing strategies and the members of the board are actually curious about it, they want to hear more of it. Could you make a presentation for Friday maybe? I can arrange a meeting and if you convince them, the project will be yours”
-“Uh…yes…of course. I’ll do it, I’ll gladly have the material prepared for it”
-“Good job by the way. If you’re willing we can consider promoting you for Marketing Management, you have skills for it and now that’s our weakness. If you have succeed in the meeting, consider yourself working in that department real soon”
-“Well, If Jamie doesn’t have a probl-”
-“Of course not! I told Brendan that I’ll more than agree to let you go. You have been here a lot time and I think that you can do more there, show your potentials in something of your interest. You don’t have to worry for anything”
-“Thanks Jamie, and thank you Mr. Rodgers for the opportunity”
-“Please, call me Brendan and you’re welcome. Till later then” - Brendan leaves for his office and Steven glances Jamie with certain curiosity while he’s sitting again on his chair. Jamie smiles knowingly adding “I’m tired to see you killing zombies and I do believe it’s a great chance for you”
-“I don’t know if this came in a good time for me to be honest with you”
-“Stevie, what’s wrong with you? I can see something is bothering you since a few days, and just before that you were smiling like a kid in a candy store. Why this sudden change of humour? What is it with you?”
-“It’s kind of…complicated Jamie, but don’t worry, I think I can handle it… yeah…absolutely” - Steven thinks ironically while he’s trying to convince his friend that he’s fine so Jamie can stop to wonder what the fuck is going on with him, because really, how he can actually explain his situation to anybody? How he should start? What is happening to him is something that probably it would be called “unusual”, being attached to an angel is not a common situation to be in the first place, not to mention falling in love with one.
-“Are you sure Gerrard?”
-“Yeah, stop worrying. Besides, you have collaborated with the fact that now I do have to work thank you very much, so I won’t have time to think about it”
-“Wanker… I believe you’re going to impress them, so for your own good you better will or I’ll kick your ass!”
-“Your golden dream isn’t?”
-“Fuck you, you know I can”
-“You’re saying the same thing since you had fourteen, deal with it Carra, you can’t and would not defeat me”
Jamie laughs at this (also Stevie is partially right), making his friend relaxing a little bit and letting his issues on a side for a moment.
***
This is the first time in a long while that Steven feels satisfaction doing something related to his job. It seems that this marketing issue thing caught his attention enough to keep him occupied through the working hours, and after all Steven loves challenges. Is that competitive side of him that never cease to exist, even after he was forced to leave football. He was so engrossed in the graphics, numbers and in the PowerPoint slides, he didn’t realize that it was almost 6 pm. He can’t remember when was the last time he left the office after 5 pm… probably never. He takes his coat and goes to the building exit, the chilly wind greeting him not so amiably and while he’s putting on his coat, he can see Xabi in the usual spot smiling like he always do when he sees Steven walking to him. The man notes a certain kind of expectation or anxiety in the angel eyes though.
-“Long day?”- Xabi asks when Steven gets closer to him and takes his hand, squeezing it lightly and letting a soft sigh escapes from his mouth while he lets go Xabi’s hand.
-“A very long one”
-“I see, I understand if you want to go home. I can come back tomorrow”
-“I don’t want you to go Xabi, in fact… I want to show you something, would you come with me?”- Xabi smiles tenderly, enough answer for the man who also smiles at the angel and can’t take his eyes off him, the way Xabi’s face light up it’s probably one of Steven’s favourite things in the world now.
-“Come, we’re not going home yet by the way”
-“Do you remember that you asked me what I love to do all the time?”- They’re in a little football field near to a school. It’s getting dark and the cold breeze makes Steven’s cheeks and nose goes pink, his feet playing with a ball, passing it to one foot to another.
-“I do remember it but you never answered”
-“I bet it’s not hard to guess right?”
-“From the time you learned to walk and speak, you love football Steven, of course it’s not a difficult thing to guess”
Steven laughs at Xabi’s words and then he concentrates on the ball, making some dribbles and kicking it to the net, scoring and celebrating like he scored the goal of the season while Xabi watches, laughing and clapping all the time.
-“You should try, let’s see how good you can be”
-“Nah-huh. I don’t think so”
-“Oh come on, let me teach you”
And they spend a while like that, Steven trying to make Xabi kick the ball without send it to the other side of the city, or taking it from the angel who moves so quickly, at incredible velocities.
-“Hey, that’s cheat you know? Don’t use your divine faculties!”- Xabi can’t stop laughing, he enjoys so much leaves Steven practically babbling while he’s playing tricks.
-“I have to make use of what I was given human! Don’t blame me for that”
-“You’re so pretentious, sometimes I doubt you’re really an angel, you’re more Machiavellian than celestial, I tell you”
-“Maybe you have to feel guilty about it, you’re a terrible influence Steven”
Xabi stops talking because he needs to concentrate in the lessons that Steven has been giving him, dominating the ball and finally scoring a goal from the half of the field. Steven claps delighted while the angel jogs to him and wraps his arms around the man’s back.
Steven’s nostrils fills with Xabi’s aroma and he instinctively hides his face in the angel’s neck, grazing his skin with his stubble cheek and breathing him. Xabi stills, letting Steven feels him and listening the train of thoughts that the man has related on him.
-“I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention”- Steven hears Xabi says and moves his head to watch him directly to his eyes.
-“I can hear - I’m really sorry. It wasn't planned let you feel something for me, I didn't think you would”
-“Only me Xabi? I’m the only one who has feelings for someone here?”
-“Don’t! You know that I can’t - that I’m not allowed to…” - Xabi thinks briefly that frustration is something very close to what he’s actually feeling right now. Since he has met Steven, Xabi has been in this constant whirl of new sensations and he doesn’t have a clue of what to do, or think. He feels he doesn’t have any control on this.
-“I’ve been sorry for this every day Xabi, since the day I started to fall for you and how I feel when you’re around. And what you are... this is crazy! The least you can do is admit that you’re so confused as I am”
-“You can’t ask me that, don’t do that!”
-“But I know it anyway! Jeez… I know! Maybe I can’t hear what the hell you think or anything but you let me touch you and kiss you. If you didn’t want it as I do, you wouldn't let me do any of those things to you and I can see in your eyes that you want”
Xabi thinks that it’s a perfect timing to disappear, but he chooses to close his eyes and try to be as patient as he can be.
-“Say it won’t change anything Steven. Admit it would make everything more difficult for the both of us and the last thing I want to do is to cause deception in you. I’m what I am and nothing will change that. No matter what you think I can be able to want”
-“I think it’s too late for that and you know it Xabi. But, I don’t regret it, I don’t regret that you decided to appear in my life”
-“Me neither”- Xabi says and the look he gives to Steven is enough for him to understand what the angel has in him. A drizzle starts to fall and Steven takes Xabi’s hand.
-“Come, let’s go home”
***
Just a few things have made Steven feel nervous through all his life. For example, the first minutes on the field in the beginning of a match when he used to play, the first time he liked a boy (and the conclusion he made of that fact) and the group of men dressed all correctly and with grey hair which are staring at him right now. Steven wears his best suit (the best of the four he have) and while he’s waiting for the video beam reflects his presentation on the smart board, he glances at Jamie who is there not exactly at his will.
- Come on Steven, you don’t need cheerleaders there, you’ll be great!...
-You wanker! I don’t need you to cheer me up, I need to see a familiar face because I don’t know any of them and they’ll freak me out! Besides, you pushed me into this so you better be there or I’ll drag you-
-All right I’ll go…just relax mate!
And that’s how Jamie ended up reunited with the board in the conference room, nodding at every word Steven has been saying to make him feel secure that he’s on the right path.
It’s enough for Steven to believe that he can pull this off.
-“To Steven, who’s from today the new Marketing’s Management Coordinator of the best Insurance’s Company of England”
There’s a general buuu in the table where Steven and his friends are having a pint in the accustomed pub, celebrating Steven’s promotion.
-“Yeah Stevie, now you have to work”
-“I didn’t knew you were such a corporate man Jamie, I bet you have cups and pens all around your house with the name where you work”
-“Fuck you Pepe, the pens are actually quite good”
-“So you’ll have a proper office Stevie?”
-“Yeah, I asked Jay’s office and his services like my assistant Coordinator”
-“Keep dreaming bastard”
-“Hey Jamie, what was the thing you wanted to tell us?”
-“Oh yeah, I’m going to be a dad again. Nicola told me two days ago, she has three months. Little Jamie is really excited too”
-“That’s some great news Jamie, just please don’t torture us like Joe here with his talks about bottles and baby shit stuffs”
-“Fuck off Glen, I don’t talk about that all the time”
-“Really? The other day Mr. Cole asked me to help him choose a damn cradle and we were walking around the baby’s department for three hours. Three fucking hours because he couldn’t choose between white or wood colour. You know Joe? Please tell me you’re going to wait long enough to have another one and let us to recover from this”
-“Go and fuck yourself”
-“Ok…enough with the subject. So, pool boys? I feel lucky tonight” - Two hours later four grown up men were cursing really loud to a very smiling Steven.
***
-“Check”
-“Damn it!”
-“Language Xabier”
-“Don’t make me to show you the finger Mikel”
-“You’re terrible for chess, you know it. I don’t know why you insist to play with me anyway”
-“Soon or later your king will fall”
-“You have been trying for an eternity, you have another one to do it”
-“Some day”- Xabi push his king to make it fall for the tenth time in the night and pretends he’s deep sighing. He thinks he’ll never be able to win Mikel in chess and concludes that probably war strategies are not his thing.
-“Don’t give up”
-“Maybe we should try with poker someday”
-“Maybe we should. How is your friend by the way?”
-“He’s fine. He has been promoted and he’s celebrating it with his friends. The unusual comes when I’m around”
-“Ah, but he’s weird enough to have unusual relationships in his life, isn’t it?”
-“Probably”- Xabi smiles, but some kind of sadness shadows his eyes. After a few moments, Mikel talks again.
-“You love him do you?”
-“Probably”
-“And what are you going to do Xabier?”
-“Nothing, there’s nothing I can do about it”
-“You know you can ask her”
-“You know very well Mikel, that I’m not going to do it”
Mikel feels sorrow for his friend. Even that he always believed that Xabi’s intentions to get close to Steven were selfish from the beginning, seeing him now with that sad expression and talking with a kind of nostalgia, makes him to feel empathy for his friend.
-“Then why you still sees him?”
-“Because I would rather have moments with him that not have anything at all. At least I can take that”
Mikel gives Xabi one more chance to beat him in chess, more likely to change a little the gloomy air that surrounds them.
***-“I’m happy for Jamie, it can’t be more convenient for his family the news”
-“Me too. I realize that everyone in my group are parents”
-“You don’t have any intentions to be one right?”
-“Not a chance. I love kids, as long as they’re other’s responsibility it’s fine by me”
-“Royal flush Steven” - Xabi shows his cards with a cheeky smile.
-“What the- again??”
-“I have a natural talent it seems”
-“This is the second time you make that. How you do-?… Oh… oh you cheat bastard”
-“I can’t believe you didn’t realize it till now”
-“You BASTARD!”
-“Insulting me doesn’t make you look less naïve Steven, just to say it with elegant words”
Steven throws the cards to Xabi’s face and pretends indignity for the way Xabi has deceived him. He also thinks how dumb he was being that he actually forgot the angel can read his mind. He blames him anyway, it’s his fault that he’s engrossed with him completely.
-“We should go to the Casino, we would make a fortune with you there”
-“I don’t think- NO!”
-“You have not been corrupted enough angel, maybe I should work with that”- Steven says yawning, it was a long day.
-“Congratulations Steven. I think it’s great they’re giving you a chance, you’re going to be good at it”
-“Well, I kind of like it you know? It’s interesting and yeah, we’ll see how it gets”
-“You’ll have success, I believe in you”
-“Aw Xabi, you’re my favourite fan”- Xabi whispers a fuck you and Steven laughs at how sometimes Xabi still is demure with human mannerism.
-“Let’s go to the bed allright?”
-“Ok I have to ask, why your skin is warm? You don’t have a heart or blood in your veins, it’s funny. You must be cold right?”
-“I don’t know”- Steven has a hand over Xabi’s cheek while the angel has his over Steven’s chest. They’re laying on the bed facing each other, Steven trying to get to sleep -“Ela decided create us like this I guess”
-“She’s a fucking genius, I think I started to like her really”
Xabi laughs at Steven’s words and then he kisses his forehead.
-“Come on, try to sleep ok?”
Xabi’s mesmerized with the rise and fall of Steven’s chest while the man sleeps so peacefully. He looks so beautiful and vulnerable at Xabi’s eyes that he can’t look away from him. In this moment, he couldn’t care less the gravity of his situation, he just rests his stare on the man and keeps for himself every moment he can spend with him. He knows that sooner or later he must step aside and let Steven continue with his life, but not yet. He's just content to spend hours just watching Steven sleeps, how he breaths and listening his heart. He was completely absorbed by the image in front of him that he didn’t realize that there was someone in the room.
It strikes him when he feels the overwhelming force surrounding the place, he immediately sits up on Steven’s bed, open-mouthed and surprised.
He has never seen Ela’s human form before. She’s always everywhere and Xabi only was capable of listen her and feels her omnipresent. But she’s there with them now, and she’s absolutely gorgeous. Her skin is so white, with big and brown eyes, her curly hair falling over her waist. She’s smiling, her face lighting up.
-“I like him too you know? He has a weird sense of humour, a little cynical for my taste, but I can’t say much about that right? How are you Xabier?”
Xabi is speechless. He can’t move, it’s too much for him to see her there. He can’t describe what he’s feeling, the only thing he can do is to watch her in awe.
Ela gets closer to Steven and grazes his cheek lightly with her delicate hand. Then, she watches Xabi and extends her hand to him and demand:
-“Come with me Xabier, we need to talk”
-“It’s been a long time since I walked over the earth like this. The city looks different from here, gorgeous. I can see why you’re so fond of it”
Ela and Xabi are in the city’s port, the sun threatening to come up while the two heavenly beings are watching the horizon.
-“Why you’re here Ela?”
-“It’s not obvious Xabier? I’m here looking for you. You have been so much here that I’ve missed you, I think you lost notion of who you are and to tell you the truth I’m little disappointed”- Ela smiles, despite that her words sounded like a scolding to Xabi.
-“I’m sorry Ela. I-”
-“Hush it. Don’t be sorry, you were always the curious one of my servers. But always obedient and loyal and even so, you let yourself being captivated by human nature. It was a matter of time that someone in particular caught your attention enough to drag you in the state that you’re currently. And I know how this is going to end anyway. I always knew it”
-“Do…do you?”
-“Of course Xabier, you’re not the only one who has a fall for a human. The difference is that you were always curious about them and genuinely fascinated by their actions. It’s something new for me, your devotion to them”
Ela stands up from her seat and walks to the edge of the port. Xabi follows her, standing on her side.
-“What happened with the others?”
-“I let them go”
-“You…you let them go?”
-“Yes Xabier, I can’t retain anyone against its will, not even my angels, it’s not a fair situation for you guys isn’t?”
Ela smiles and Xabi understands everything that smile means to say.
-“I never thought of asking you Ela”
-“I know, you overcome your loyalty before your wishes, always. That’s why I always have had you like one of my notable ones”
The sun starts to bath the city with its rays.
-“He needs you Xabier, as well you need him”
Ela takes Xabi’s face between her hands and gently she puts his lips on his forehead. Xabi closes his eyes, his insides seems to come to life by Ela’s touch.
-“I’m going to miss you…Xabi”
Xabi feels a light touch on his cheek. It’s warm and tender and Ela is watching him with bright eyes and knowing smile. She wraps her arms around his waist and kisses his neck and he hugs her too.
The warm feeling in Ela’s arms is the last thing Xabi can remember before falls asleep.
***
The song of the chapter
:)